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jazz hands

today's post will be the last for a few days, in the light of the caol ila islay jazz festival beginning this evening and lasting until sunday night. in addition, i have a charity gig lined up for saturday evening that has nothing whatsoever to do with the festival, though i will be making a brief appearance at the jazz festival in portnahaven on sunday afternoon.

to complicate matters, my usual newspaper jazz correspondents are missing in action this year, so i have one more welcome duty to undertake. all should be back to normal by tuesday 23 september.

friday 19 september 2025

disconnect

for obvious marketing reasons, road bicycle manufacturers are generally keen to identify their flagship model as the world's fastest bicycle, usually a title that can be held for an all too brief moment in time. though of purely academic interest to most of us, this constitutes bragging rights for even the most corporate of companies, but the question remains as to whether the claim has any validity, and just how you might define it in the first place?

many years ago, when the concept of an aero road bike first reared its ugly head, a manufacturer, which shall remain nameless to spare their blushes, produced a bicycle shortly in advance of a particularly notable bike race, a bicycle they claimed to be several minutes faster than the competition over a specific distance. at the finish line, if memory serves correctly, the first rider home on such a bicycle, arrived in either ninth or tenth place, rather undermining any claims that the bicycle was the world's fastest. unlike motor vehicles, which feature a wide variety of engine power, any claims to the title of fastest bicycle surely depend entirely on who is riding it? to state the glaringly obvious, the rider is the engine.

if we look briefly at the last two grand tours, pogacar, who rides a colnago and seems to favour the y1rs, took the yellow jersey by some considerable margin. that would seem to confirm the colnago as the world's fastest bicycle. but if, for instance, the slovenian had opted to ride the v5rs and still won the jersey, would that effectively depose colnago's designated aero bike, and raise its stablemate to the podium? come the vuelta, with pogacar taking a well-earned holiday, vingegaard, second in the tour, took top spot in madrid. so does that mean his cervelo s5 is the world's fastest bike, or would the presence of tadej stolen the dane's thunder?

and though i'd imagine that victory matters a great deal not only to the two riders mentioned above, does it really mean that much to you or i? for instance, were i to arrive at debbie's a couple of minutes ahead of you, or if you reach the summit of the col du rspb several metres ahead of yours truly, do either of us really care, and would we be bold enough to claim world's fastest bike on that basis? i tend to think not.

my own personal view is that there really is no such things as 'the world's fastest bicycle. there are simply far too many variable factors that might intervene. for instance, out of necessity, i am well-practised in the art of riding in galeforce crosswinds, a skill that, because of your regular place of domicile, you may have had scant reason to perfect. therefore, as we both ride hurriedly towards bruichladdich in a force six gale, the fact that i have learned to be less troubled by crosswinds than you, surely does not infer that i am riding the faster bicycle? left to its own devices, any bicycle is merely an inert collection of carbon, aluminium and a smattering of titanium. unless concerted pressure is applied to the pedals, all of the world's finest road bicycles are going nowhere.

you will, i hope, note that all the scenarios outlined above, involve real world situations; none are set in the mythical online world of watopia, and none involve a wind-tunnel, which, i might point out, is on which the majority of manufacturers base their often spurious claims. to the best of my knowledge, i have never been anywhere near a wind tunnel, so it would be a tad disingenuous to contend that such claims are wholly invalid. but it's possible that they might just be exactly that. in every photo i've witnessed showing a road bicycle in a wind tunnel, not one of them has been at right angles to the turbine fan. yes, the manufacturer will quote the drag-coefficient at various angles, but none i've seen have been at 90 degrees. yet i'm pretty sure we've all, at sometime or other, been faced with just such a sideways blast.

the fallacy, as far as i can see, is in not subjecting those flat, thin tube shapes to a sturdy crosswind; the bicycle may prove particularly slippery when faced with a direct head or tailwind, but that is of no real consequence if those flat tubes result in it being blown off the road, aided and abetted by a wheelset sporting 60mm rims. and what brought on this discussion? learning that a very popular cycling website tested a dozen of reputedly all-out aero bikes in a wind tunnel to learn which was really the fastest amongst them.

though the article filled plenty of pixels, i'd be less than inclined to set store by the result, when the question asked is surely flawed in the first place.

friday 19 september 2025

a one-way street

a good friend of mine (thank you james), sent me a link to a youtube video by scottish car clan, in which the presenter, the name of whom i am unaware, advises his audience to seriously consider finding and purchasing a good quality used car from the earlier part of this century, as opposed to investing in 'new'. his reasoning seemed to me, to be particularly sound.

in and around 2010 (his advice, not mine), motor cars had effectively reached the pinnacle of engineering quality, combined with luxury and appropriate technology. cars of that era were not reliant on dealership software and integrated systems. though this would hardly apply to yours truly, vehicles of that vintage could still be worked on by independent and home mechanics; parts are reputedly easily available, and though costs had risen in recent years as more motorists had begun to appreciate in which direction the car industry was heading, they were still at a manageable level.

with the government's mandate that all petrol and diesel production should end in 2030, there's unlikely to be a single manufacturer in the world who does not already have a saleable electric car, a plug-in hybrid, or similar models under development. but all current (pun intended) electric cars rely on lithium-ion batteries, which one manufacturer has advised have an average life-expectancy of approximately ten years. this means that there are going to be many present day purchases that will effectively reach an end-of-life situation in 2035, when the replacement cost of a battery outweighs the value of the car. at present, some manufacturers are quoting £10,000 for a new battery.

but even the vehicles that have yet to transition to electric power have made motorisng considerably more expensive. the scottish car clan presenter cited the example of a new gearbox for a honda crv, which, he said was available for around £450, and which he and many others had the mechanical ability to either fix or replace. as more folks became aware of the impending situation, it might be likely that, in only a few years' time, that price might have risen by a couple of hundred pounds. but it was worth comparing that with the presenter's recent need to replace a wing-mirror on a modern car; with all the associated electronics and sensors, it had cost more than the replacement gearbox for the honda.

so, you might think, even more reasons to be smug and self-congratulatory that we are immune from such ephemera, with both cleated feet firmly planted in the realm of the velocipede. but before that smugness becomes overbearing, take a look at the way the cycle industry has been heading recently. the e-bike has gone from looking like commercial folly, to becoming the mainstay of the industry, lauded from all sides in similar manner to the mountain bike of the 1980s. they too are reliant on lithium-ion batteries, and if you possess just such a bicycle, at some time in the future, it too will require a replacement battery, something that i believe many dealers and manufacturers neglect to point out at time of purchase. e-bike batteries are reckoned to have a useful life of around four years, depending on type of use, and at present can cost a few pounds short of £1,000. that in itself, makes the e-bike seem a tad less economic and pragmatic than many of us originally thought.

i own a colnago c40 from around 1999 which is still perfectly serviceable, and from which i expect to gain at least another fifteen years of use, without having to spend a total of £6,000 over 30 years if i generously allow for a replacement battery every five years (were it even electric in the first place). but that's only e-bikes, which many may be inclined to think serves those right who bought into the whole e-bike world when they could easily have settled for an acoustic bicycle instead.

but once again, i believe that smugness may have to be tempered. there has already been one e-bike maufacturer gone bust, leaving purchasers of its product with the dilemma of where their cycling future lies. that's because the bicycle came with a membership fee, payment of which worked in the same manner as modern software; pay the monthly fee, or (bits of) it stops working. with the so-called internet of things (iot) such systems are easily implemented.

presently, shimano and sram have shifted (pun intended once more), their professional groupsets to electronic and wireless operation. campagnolo has done likewise to an extent, but it's still possible to acquire super-record, record and chorus mechanical groupsets, with still the commendable option of rim brakes. however, it would be naive to think that none of the big three have entirely discounted integrating these systems with the bicycles to which they are outfitted, and pursuing the subscription model. were the latter to become fact, you would rent the groupset of choice, allowing for software and possibly even hardware updates as part of the package. but once again, if you stop paying, the bicycle no longer works.

you might think this to be a poorly considered conspiracy theory, but already, bmw require a subscription on some of their vehicles, just to use the heated seats.

if this seems far-fetched, as long ago as the garmin 800, a gps device could connect to a mobile phone, allowing signals to be sent and received in use. i'm sure i recall a recent release of just such a bicycle computer which featured a sim card, and able to access the mobile phone network directly. it's how smart-meters work. the technology is all there; the rollout is probably sitting on the apple-mac of a marketing department somewhere, awaiting finalisation of the campaign that will convince us that paying for our bicycles in perpetuity is a brilliant idea.

just remember; it wasn't my idea.

thursday 18 september 2025

and so it begins

reputedly, since europe banned the use of forever chemicals and their use in producing waterproof membranes, such as goretex, the race has been on to become the next goretex, with a patentable product that will fortify the share price of the first to do so. technological development within cycling apparel (equally applicable to other sporting apparel, but this is alleged to be a cycling blog, so...) appears to have come to an abrupt halt several years ago, with the majority of purveyors resorting to releasing new colours on the existing product range each year, in the forlorn hope that they might, if nothing else, become the new pantone. and the frontispiece to this clandestine race, was the not so humble waterproof.

since 1997, the marketing department at goretex has been singularly concentrated on bolstering awareness of the brand (with reasonable success, i might add), attempting to convince the great and good that they are still the market leader, despite the expiry not only of their patent, but that of the ptfe material itself. since then, effectively, each and every apparel purveyor involved in the cycling market has had equal access to the membrane used in the creation of breathable waterproofs. arguably the pinnacle of that process was the development of goretex shakedry, reckoned by many to be the ultimate breathable waterproof. this it achieved by excluding any outer, dwr coated fabric, in favour of featuring the breathable membrane as the outer shell. a lack of unbruisable hardiness notwithstanding, its complete exclusion of precipitation was legendary.

however, the banning of per and polyfluoroalkyls, the chemicals that created goretex in the first place, meant that none were now in a position to exploit its superior properties. whomsoever can achieve the status once exclusive to goretex, may well find themseleves in the perfect position to produce not only their own breathable waterproofs, but the opportunitiy to license the technology to others, assuring a sound economic future. note how, after many years of attempting their own breathable waterproof clothing, rapha eventually gave way to marketing, and allied themselves to goretex, as did several others. this has resulted in every new garment proffered to the velocipedinally inclined, ostensibly to shelter them from the iniquities of another climate changed winter, being announced with a flurry and fanfare as the greatest thing since, well, goretex.

that this battle is reaching frothing-at-the-mouth status can be evidenced by three recent announcements from alé, castelli and santini, all three underlining the absence of pfas (per- and polyfluoroalkyl substances), and thus a part of the new guard. santini's magic waterproof jacket makes use of polartec power shield, a two layer membrane produced using recycled polyester. alé have allied themselves with e-vent (also pfas free) in its announcement of the fan and traccia jackets. not to be left out, castelli has released the latest version of its perfetto jacket, derived from the original and infamous gabba jacket. said to "tick every box when it comes to being lightweight, highly breathable, windproof and water repellent." (note that it stops short of claiming to be waterproof), castelli's perfetto is made possible by a genuinely new fabric from polartec called aircore.

though i have neither seen nor tested any of the above, from anecdotal evidence concerning waterproofs created without pfas, it seems unlikely that any of the three will ever challenge goretex shakedry, meaning, for the time being at least, that cyclists worldwide will continue to experience that soggy sensation on reaching the coffee shop. it seems very likely that, at some point in our lifetimes, a genuine, pfas free replacement for shakedry will be realised, but until then, i and others, will simply have to hope that our existing shakedry garments will last, and that we won't put on any extra pounds preventing them from fitting our honed physiques.

wednesday 17 september 2025

bike-fit

the original argument in favour of e-bikes was their purported democratisation of the activity. while accessibility has been a watchword applied to many strains of contemporary life, from public venues to websites, bicycles have remained steadfastly independent, rejoicing in the knowledge that they are often categorised as the saviour of our transportational woes, yet clearly applicable only to the physically fit. the fortuitous advent of the e-bike, inadvertently brought succour to the disadvantaged. even allowing for the pedal-assist aspect of the street-legal versions, those with age, back and joint problems were provided with the means to enjoy the commuting and leisure aspects of enhanced mobility, swelling the ranks of the velocipedinally inclined.

that, in part, explains the apparent rise and rise of the e-bike; what was originally less predictable was sales of e-bikes to those perfectly capable of riding the acoustic variety without professed difficulty. industry analysts, it seems, had failed to take into account that the human race invariably opts for the path of least resistance. otherwise, how else did we end up with e-mountain bikes, e-gravel bikes and, most inexplicable of all, the e-road bike?

but whichever variant you may (or may not) take issue with, the type of motive power does not materially detract from the fact that the rider has still to sit in a saddle and turn a set of pedals to unleash the potential of the bicycle. so those amongst us who will loudly complain of a painful posterior after only a few moments in the saddle, are unlikely to find that the battery or electric motor will alleviate any of the physically-based moans. in other words, if you found it uncomfortable to ride an acoustic bicycle, the electric variety is not the immediate solution. as i have advised to many, they could install a parker-knoll armchair atop the seatpost and their backsides will still smart until they become used to the act of pedalling.

a quick look at the selle-italia webiste will elicit that the italian saddlemaker proffers 46 different types of saddle for road bikes alone. factor in mountain bike, gravel, heritage, triathlon, e-bike and commuting, and you have to wonder about anyone who claims themselves unable to find a saddle to suit. admittedly, finding the very seat that might offer luxuriant comfort might be an insurmountable task, even allowing for the loan schemes offered by manufacturers in partnership with participating bike shops. as someone who has reviewed more than his fair share of saddles, i can attest to this from firsthand knowledge. some of those which appeared to to be the holy grail, turned out be less comfortable in the long term.

brooks once offered a saddle entitled the colt, a leather saddle which fulfilled the usual form factor, and required the periodic tensioning of the leather top during the breaking-in process. expecting the review model to ride like a concrete coal-bunker for the first few weeks, you can imagine my surprise (and disappointment) to find unbridled comfort right from the start. perhaps such immediate solace mitigated against brooks' hard won reputation, for the colt saddle was subsequntly discontinued and is no longer available.

today's diatribe was unsuspectingly promulgated by ad hoc conversations between guardian newspaper correspondent, nick hopkins (not the recently deceased keyboard player responsible for the piano solo on the album version of derek and the dominoes' layla) and prince harry, while en-route to kyiv in ukraine to visit with injured service personnel (monday 15 septembeer issue). for reasons not entirely clear, he admitted to a dislike of cycling due to a self-professed 'bony-ass'. i'm not one to cast unwarranted disparagement to the four winds, but it would take only brief appraisal of the start line of any international bike race, to observe that the pinnacle of the sport are also in possession of bony-asses, carefully honed over years of training and racing, yet ameliorated by having chosen particularly suitable saddles.

britain's royal family has never been renowned for its collective intellectual prowess, and rarely professing an inherent perspicacity to conceal that particular trait. but, in the likelihood that prince harry at least, as patron of the invictus games, has access to expert coaching advice, should he not have been aware that there are saddles specifically curated to alleviate his alleged problem, or that riding a few kilometres on a regular basis would be likely to render his complaint, if not null and void, of less prominence?

it must be of great concern to brooks saddles to learn that they are unlikely ever to receive the royal ass-ent.

tuesday 16 september 2025

pre-season training

following on from my recent monologue about the iniquities of televised cycling, augmented with tales of sore thumbs while attempting to fit a 33mm challenge chicane tyre, i am aware that, especially with the last stage of this year's vuelta taking place into madrid on sunday, that the summer season has come to a close. granted, there is still the world road race championships with which to contend, and a couple of notables in october, but essentially, road racing is yesterday's thing and it's time to move on to better things. in other words, cyclocross.

at the risk of becoming a cyclocross bore, quite probably the very thought espoused by my female work colleagues (and if it isn't it soon will be), 'cross is pretty much where it's at. yes, i did watch some of the british gravel championships on youtube over the weekend, but the small portion that i saw, reminded me of nothing more than road-racing on a less than smooth surface. a bit like the strade bianche. i am definitely prejudiced, having little faith in the whole gravel thing, but becoming aware that the hope supercross was also being broadcast live on youtube, i'm sure you can understand where my loyalties lay. and helping ease into the cyclocross season in europe, the appearance of two young riders from the pauwels sauzen cibel team provided a taste of that which will follow next month.

hope technology is more readily associated with mountain biking, so their sponsorship not only of a british cyclocross series, but of brit thomas mein, is all the more congratulatory.

i have no idea of the economics of providing live coverage of gravel or cyclocross through youtube, but i very much doubt that it's particularly cheap. 'cross is perhaps easier since it can survive on fixed cameras; gravel is a tad more wide-ranging, and, if i'm allowed to say so without putting too many noses out of joint, a lot less interesting. i understand that there are physical restrictions to offering live coverage of a gravel event, but the majority seems to have been filmed from a following motorbike, highlighting only the back of any given rider, though there was the occasional image from the front. and the tree coverage along the parcours pretty much excluded lengthy aerial footage from helicopter or drone. based on that which i saw, it would appear that gravel racing has a great deal in common with improvised jazz, in that it's often a great deal more interesting for the participants, than it is for the audience. and while i have the greatest of respect for king of scotland, jimmy mccallum, i'm not sure why it was found necessary to provide a video feed of the commentary box.

however, though it may seem otherwise, i didn't begin this monologue in order to offer my unwelcome thoughts on gravel racing, but to praise the aperitif that was the hope supercross. it will soon be opportune to once again take the big bobble hat from the drawer in the hall, alternated with my bright yellow x20 badkamers woolly hat. no-one on islay will have the faintest idea as to what such headwear might represent, but that is really of no nevermind. one's sporting preferences do not need to be private, but it makes no real difference if they are. riding my 'cross bike this weekend has been a joy, and already i am rummaging through several websites on the lookout for a new pair of suitable wheels to replace the damaged wheelsmiths (in truth, the next pair are also like to come from derek mcclay).

have look at the gravel race, then compare it with the supercross and tell me i'm wrong.

monday 15 september 2025

a funny thing happened on the way to the tyre lever

each day's monologue comes to you courtesy of sheer improvisation. rarely do i have the faintest idea of what the day's subject might be prior to sitting in the armchair, opening my macbook air and putting fingers to keyboard. a bit like playing jazz, it's the improvisation that makes it work (well, some of the time). this is accomplished at more or less the same time each day, and that was the cunning plan on friday afternoon, with improvisation i had planned following the fitting of my replacement challenge chicane rear tyre.

playing hooky from work about an hour early, i removed the damaged tyre from the wheel and set about fitting its replacement, ready and willing (maybe), to do battle with what has traditionally been a brand of tyre that has proved unbelievably difficult to fit (check the online forums - i am not alone). however, on this particular occasion, it excelled itself, to the extent that i am suffering a certain level of pain trying to type these words. the problems were compounded on this particular occasion while attempting to fit the tyre to my wheelsmith rims, during which i noted several cracks around one particular spoke nipple. figuring it a bit pointless and potentially dangerous to continue, given the possibility of rim breakage in the foreseeable future, i removed my hard won tyre achievement to place it upon an alternative wheel.

suffice it to say, after two and a quarter hours of tyre wrestling, i still had a six centimetre section of tyre that point blank refused all persuasions to seat itself on the rim. despite possessing a koolstop tyre jack, designed to ease the fitment process, i made no headway whatsoever, and gave up in order to make my tea. while the latter was cooking, in sheer frustration, i place the wheel and tyre on the sitting room floor, held the top edge and placed my foot upon the section of tyre with serious refusal tendencies and forced the wheel sideways. surprisingly, that particular technique actually worked, and as i continued to type, the wheel and tyre combination was left against the sofa, while i fervently hoped that the inner tube proved to have been perfectly resilient during the wrestling process. inflation and cassette swapping came later.

so once again, i find myself asking out loud, why certain brands of tyre are so cotton-picking difficult to fit? as someone who spent many a happy year repairing bicycles, i have fitted many tyres and tubes in my time, and, as the years have rolled by, the process has become ever more difficult, and i'd really like to know why? for having fitted said tyre, there was then the not altogether simple matter of having the tyre bead properly seated. to aid this, on the bead side of the sidewall on challenge tyres, is a black fabric line, all of which has to be showing above the rim to ensure the tyre is seated perfectly round. but also on the sidewall is advice that the maximum pressure is 40psi, a pressure that is rarely sufficient to have the bead correctly seated (rene herse tyres are similar in this respect). so invariably, i've to momentarily over-inflate the tyre to almost 90psi, check the bead, and then drop the pressure to around 37psi.

there have been exploding inner tube moments on several occasions.

there are tyres that fit quite easily (vittoria seem to have figured it out), but in all the time i've been riding challenge tyres (because they're really, really good), they have lived up to the name on the sidewall; they are defintely a huge challenge to fit. and just to add insult to injury, i'd then to remove the front tyre and fit that to a replacement front wheel (i like a matched pair). if the spoke hole on the rear wheel shows sgns of cracking, there's an evens chance the front rim isn't far behind).

thank goodness i had no gigs this weekend, as neither thumb was up for a paradiddle.

sunday 14 september 2025

see what i mean?

the sporting side of cycling is, as many of us are already aware, a niche activity. while sports such as football/soccer, cricket, golf and horse-racing often gain wall-to-wall coverage, interrupting the likes of eastenders and coronation street, much to the annoyance of those who prefer their soaps to their sport, cycling, if broadcast at all, is often confined to the likes of itv4. personally, i'm all in favour of that approach; where's the problem with broadcasting sport on a channel that is usually showing repeats, and leaving mainstream programming untouched?

the advent of satellite broadcasting democratised the process just a tad, allowing the invention of eurosport for fans of tractor-pulling, red bull aerobatics and, yes, cycling. so doing allowed the terrestrial broadcasters to ignore all of the above, safe in the knowledge that the audiences for such, no matter how small, was being well catered for.

things have changed quite substantially since those days halcyon days of cycling yore. a couple of years ago, quite abruptly, eurosport's online player, offering internet broadcasting to those of us without a sky satellite subscription, was discontinued following the end of the tour de france, with subscribers who were agreeable, switched to discovery+. the change was undoubtedly sweetened by the offer of a half-price subscription till the end of that same year. but then matters changed once again, with the £6.99 monthly subs being drastically increased to £30.99, eurosport closed down as far as the uk was concerned, and everyone moved over to tnt sports, formerly disguised as bt sports.

the more things change, the more they don't stay the same.

most will be aware that 2025 saw the last free-to-air broadcast of le tour, featuring ned boulting and david millar, effectively entailing a wholesale scrum to pay £30.99 next july for live tour coverage and a subsidy for the next five years of premier league football. i've already grudgingly admitted that i will be starting my subscription a smidgeon earlier, unable and unwilling to survive a winter without my weekly dose of cyclocross. the choice is no longer ours to make.

but, according to statistics relating to the viewing habits if the masses, more and more are likely to spend their evenings on laptops and computers, and increasingly the tellybox, to watch programming on youtube, a media that has an intrinsic ability to cater to those not necessarily allied to the mainstream. i am inclined to watch youtube myself, though mostly music channels as opposed to cycling, and almost definitely on the smaller screen due to the unwieldy search facility on the youtube tv app. no doubt artificial intelligence will soon solve that particular hurdle.

but it seems that youtube watching is already upon us; not with live coverage of la vuelta, not with live coverage of the world championships, but, courtesy of ribble cycles, the british gravel championship held on sunday 14 september in yorkshire. commentary for the event will partner david reeve with the king of scotland, jimmy mccallum, cyclocross expert and coach to cameron mason. it will be interesting to see if the same level of broadcast will be extended to the british cyclocross championships, though aside from ribble cycles, the gravel event is being supported by visit north yorkshire and north yorkshire council; if the cyclocross championships are not held in yorkshire, things may be different.

if this is the sort of media outlet that suits your viewing habits, irrespective of your thoughts on gravel, it would be helpful if as many of us as possible tune in from 08:45 on sunday, to let red on sports, stream7, 4 season collective, commuter films, ribble, and visit north yorkshire, know that we appreciate their largesse pointed in our direction. and the hope supercross is also live on youtube on sunday.

maybe it's the dawn of a new era?

british gravel championships live on youtube | hope supercross

saturday 13 september 2025

it's almost here

showing remarkable generosity that belies the subscription price, tnt sports is currently offering highlights of la vuelta each evening on quest satellite channel, fronted by orla, adam and matt and sporting more commentators than at which you could shake a stick. it has always amused me that riders in the peloton are required to cycle hundreds of kilometres each day at speeds that would make your eyes water, yet those commentating on their actions regularly take lunch and tea breaks while the riders are subjected to the worst of the weather, gradients and, in the case of la vuelta this year, demonstrations interrupting their concerted efforts at victory. perish the thought that they should be inconvenienced.

however, following and watching each stage for around half an hour each evening (subtract the ad breaks, orla's legs and the inevitable post-stage punditry) takes stoic solidarity on behalf of the spectator, in stark contrast to the periodic tenacity required to watch one hour of eyeballs out cyclocross from october to february each year. yes, i'm aware that the cyclocross season is about to begin, down-under, on 16 september, but for those of us in thrall to european mud and sand, saturday 4 october is the appointed day for hanging out the bunting when the planks appear for the first exact trophy event from meulebeke in north west belgium.

i believe i may have mentioned the appearance of a small hole in the sidewall of my rearmost challenge chicane tyre (regulation 33mm), and the need to acquire a replacement. well, the replacement arrived almost two weeks past, during which i have had scant time to fit it to the rear wheel of my specialized crux. though it's now over six months since my little health scare, and the recovery process seems to have proceeded far better than expected. however, i will need to ask specialist advice as to whether attempted emulation of wout van aert, eli iserbyt or mathieu van der poel is in my best interests. not that i'm even close to being mistaken for any of the above, but there's surely no harm in trying?

or perhaps there is?

but, only if you promise not to tell the folks at tnt sports, lest they adopt an unseemly smugness, i fear i am now going to have to bite the bullet and pony up for a monthly subscription. the prospect of suffering through an entire winter, bereft of weekly cyclocross, is more than i'm willing to endure.

but, having innocently disparaged fast talk laboratories in a recent post, i may now have to eat humble pie on learning of their enthusiasm for the best sport in the world. arriving unannounced to my inbox yesterday was a missive from the laboratories offering a podcast featuring former masters continental cyclocross champion, american, adam myerson. he promises to break down the race day essentials for would-be champions and even those of us who still harbour doubts about mud and bicycles. these essentials apparently include tyre choice and pressures, to smarter course inspection, warm-ups, and fuelling. i am informed that i will walk away with a checklist on which i can rely this weekend, enabling me to ride faster, make fewer mistakes, and have more fun.

i can scarcely comprehend that they think i make mistakes.

however, as i ready my uci rainbow stripes big bobble hat and yellow and blue x2o badkamers duck hat (first race, the koppenbergcross at oudenaarde on 1 november), for winter wear, and decide whether i really ought to purchase a pauwels sauzen cibel jersey and bibtights from aliexpress, i may endeavour to pay a sliver more attention to fast talk labs, where, it is promised, i will avail myself of how to build fitness, sharpen skills like dismounts and remounts, and prepare for the unpredictable mix of mud, sand, and barriers.

however, that tnt sports subscription price still smarts a bit.

friday 12 september 2025

price matching

on tuesday morning, at the invitation of glenmorangie's brand home manager, i cycled the 16km from bowmore to port ellen, intent on having a look around the recently refurbished and renamed, islay hotel. purchased on behalf of ardbeg distillery, the building is now known as ardbeg house, and has received a controversial interior overhaul (see image above). unfortunately, the cycle along the low road was directly into a 60kph headwind from start to finish, not helped by the fact that it started raining heavily during the final 3km. i did have to apologise for dripping on the hotel's nice new floor. granted, i returned to bowmore in half the time it had taken to get there.

however, at least a part of the reason for such a visit was having missed the public open day on saturday 6 september, when i was at the other side of the island wandering aimlessly around kilchoman distillery which was celebrating is 20th anniversary. during that particular visit, during an interview with founder, anthony wills, he pointed out that one of the many reasons they had survived the slings and arrows of single malt, was by paying particular attention to their costs, subsequently reflected in the prices they were able to charge for their whiskies. though the headlines will almost always centre on the often ridiculous prices paid for reputedly rare bottles of the amber nectar, it's the core product that keeps the majority of distilleries in business, particularly during lean times such as right now.

ardbeg house, on the other hand has presented a number of conundrums to the paying public. firstly, its complete refit to transform from the islay hotel to ardbeg house, has taken several months and cost 'millions. many, possibly including yours truly, are of the opinion that the money has not necessarily been well-spent, particularly if you are not in favour of bedrooms, bars and dining rooms that are a cross between steam punk, gothic and grunge. the interior of the hotel is very dark, a far cry from its previous existence, and many have said that they'd be likely to suffer nightmares, were they to wake up in any one of the twelve rooms. a sad indictment if you consider how much you are likely to have paid for that room.

at present, there are two price points available: £420 per night, or £520 per night. according to the gent to whom i spoke during my visit, the rooms are likely to be a tad more price-friendly in the winter months (around £230 per night, i believe). the prices, he told me, had been designed to be comparable to similar accommodation, but admitted that those were on the mainland and not on islay. though i'm hardly someone to whom you'd turn for economics advice, particularly relating to accommodation, it's an undeniable fact that there is a premium to be paid by island visitors, who still have to account for the cost of sailing, or flying to islay, costs which are likely to place the likes of ardbeg house in a different bracket than the establishments with which it has been reputedly compared.

and that leads me once again to the cycle industry, which may, or may not have led itself down the same garden path.

in 2003, i purchased a colnago c40hp carbon frame along with a mixture of campagnolo chorus and record components, including a pair of polished hubs which i subsequently built into a pair of wheels. the entire bicycle as ridden cost me just the wrong side of £2,000. it was a lot of money for me at the time, but money adjudged to be well-spent. some twenty-two years later, and a top-of-the-range colnago would cost me anywhere from £16,000 to almost £20,000, which, quite frankly, puts them completely outwith my minimal purchasing power. i am well aware that prices have changed quite a bit since the early part of this century, but, pound for pound, i am earning considerably more than i was then, even taking into account the inevitable annual inflation. in 2003, my children were eleven and eighteen, still reliant on mum and dad for their economic wellbeing. yet, now that mrs washingmachinepost and i are the sole occupants of the house, finances would simply not allow for a £16,000 bike under any circumstances, even if i were to believe them to be worth it in the first place.

so what happened in between times?

there have been reports in the media, of late, concerning the remarkably high price tags attached to all manner of luxury goods (let's face, for all but the members of team uae emirates, a top of the range colnago is a luxury). and the same can be said for all other brands. a quick glance through several websites would highlight that the average price for a quality carbon fibre road bike is roughly between £10,000 and £11,000, but are these prices simply the result of a self-fulfilling prophecy? has it been a case of one manufacturer (specialized?) setting an initially high price for a specific model, and that price simply being replicated by others in order to price match? a bit like the means by which ardbeg house has set its overnight accommodation costs. whether these are related to the actual costs of production, we may never know. is the cost of a night's stay in ardbeg house related to the actual cost? if so, how come i mamaged to book a room at a premier inn, in glasgow city centre, for a quarter the price of staying in a nightmare?

there are a number of photos available showing remarkably similar, yet individually branded carbon frames hanging on racks in the same taiwan factory. so is it possible that there's a concordat amongst the manufacturers to control the price of their products? are we being subjected to an international case of price-matching?

if only aldi made bikes.

thursday 11 september 2025

do as i say, not as i do

i have my suspicions that weather systems are a darned sight more intelligent than we give them credit for. and the worst part is that they appear not only to be sentient, but notably vindictive into the bargain. due to my noted visit to kilchoman distillery on saturday, sunday was the only day on offer for even a brief encounter with my bicycle, necessarily brief due to the after effects of two gigs in two days. please remember, i'm not as young as i used to be. however, that bike ride was also fraught with particularly sturdy winds on the homeward part of the parcours. which is where i recognised the vicious nature of the hebridean weather. let's face it, there have been seven intervening days since my bike ride with markus stitz, on which the wind could have done its worst; but it waited until the only day i had available.

that's just cruel.

but even worse, the forecast showed rain beginning at the time of departure, a forecast that was thankfully wide of the mark. however, as we enjoyed a galeforce tailwind down the length of usikentuie strand, my colleague and i cursed the likelihood of the same in the opposite direction augmented by heavy rain as forecast for the return trip. experience has taught us that this particular forecast was more than likely to be correct. oddly, that also proved to be incorrect, so now you can see what we can see; the weather was toying with us. that is undoubtedly a bit of a worry.

however, despite returning shaken, but not stirred and dry into the bargain, 10 kilometres into an 80kph headwind does tend to take its toll, not aided by the actuality of having consumed a soya latte and a cheese and tomato toastie only a matter of minutes previously. that particular sunday habit is turning out to be our achilles heel. by the time bridgend village was reached, the slog had more or less ameliorated that mild discomfort, just as the road turns south once again, and on sunday, brought the welcome tailwind for the last five kilometres towards bowmore.

obviously enough, neither of us are professionals; we are bereft of numbers pinned to our jersey pockets, there is no following team car, and on finishing the contents of our respective bidons, there's not even a slim chance of us tossing them insouciantly towards the roadside. but i have noted that one other professional affectation in which we do not indulge, is the customary warm-down. on stopping adjacent to the back gate of the croft, i merely divested the ritchey of its garmin and lights, before unceremoniously manhandling it into the bike shed. then it's into the kitchen, shoes off and upstairs for a shower. not for me the fastening of the rear wheel into a turbo trainer, towel round my neck and sheltered under a gazebo.

i can only assume that there is evidence to support the professional habit of riding a bicycle for half an hour or so after crossing the finish line. personally, i frequently have mild difficulty dismounting, never mind clambering aboard something attached to a turbo trainer. this isn't zwift, you understand? it's possible that i missed the memo explaining how the now common warm-down can perceivably benefit the proletariat of the peloton. and before you ask why i've not examined this aspect of training more closely, i might point out that, thankfully, i am without a turbo trainer.

the professional classes may well be the pinnacle of the sport, athletes to whom we are encouraged to admire, and to place on a pedestal. but in my case, that pedestal is minus a turbo trainer.

tuesday 9 september 2025