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following yesterday's treatise on the vicissitudes of tyre replacement and cleanliness of one's drivetrain, you may recall that i mentioned the portent of a lengthier saturday ride than usual. this happenstance was at the behest of a group of cyclists on the island, the leader of which was a gentleman whose acquaintance i had made on two previous occasions around the time of the annual ride of the falling rain. his secret power appears to be operating these organised bike tours, which i'm presuming are not confined to the hebrides.

however, having guided parties on previous occasions to jura, to the kildalton cross and other locations at the centre of the known universe, he had once again been kind enough to engage my services on saturday to take a party of eleven cyclists, of varying levels, all the way south west to portnahaven, before returning for lunch at port mòr centre on the outskirts of port charlotte. the timetable accorded a 10am start from bowmore, easily achieved by yours truly, having been up since before 7am to distribute copies of the local newspaper.

unfortunately, despite having fettled the tyres we spoke of earlier in the sweltering heat of my back garden, 7am on saturday morning was blighted by torrential drizzle and 40kph winds. meteorology is certainly not my strong point, but i couldn't help wondering quite how such relatively brisk winds had allowed steady drizzle to continue, to the extent that it completely obscured the shores on the other side of loch indaal?

however, though not necessarily noted for its accuracy, xcweather forecast that the drizzle would ultimately clear around mid-morning onto lunchtime, not resulting in wall-to-wall sunshine, but dry, slightly overcast conditions that were nonetheless perfectly adequate for cycling. the more astute amongst you, however, will have already thought ahead, leaving the rest of this paragraph somewhat predictable. i am strongly of the opinion that if i arrive on time, i'm already late, so i departed the croft at 9:45am and rolled the few hundred metres to the agreed meeting point.

of course, there was nary a cyclist to be seen.

figuring that not everyone has adopted my mode of time-keeping, i circled the village a few times before concluding that the ride had been cancelled. having neglected to provide the organiser with my home telephone number, there really had been no practicable means of my being informed. however, during my rotational perambulations, i saw the very fellow out looking for yours truly, and at which point he confirmed that the day's ride had been cancelled, citing risk assessments and insurance pertaining to the guiding of a dozen cyclists in thick drizzle and low visibility.

as this is his professional business, i made no adverse comment, but his admission that two of the party had been complaining of the cold and wind for most of the week, i figured the reason for cancellation may have been more forced upon him than been voluntarily suggested. i agreed to waive my fee for the day, since the thought of being paid for something i was not required to do, goes somewhat against the grain. however, rather than find myself all dressed up but with nowhere to go, i headed out for a bike ride of my own, with a timetable that included stopping at debbie's for coffee and the traditional double-egg roll.

unfortunately, having expected to be riding in the rain a tad slower than turned out to be the case, i had worn a heavier rainjacket than was truly necessary; wet and windy it may have been, but cold was an adjective saved for another day. to further confound matters, the jacket was not one capable of being folded and stuffed in a back pocket when the forecast turned out to be quite accurate. by the time debbie's was reached, the rain was off, visibility had dramatically improved and it was possible to see my shadow while riding along uiskentuie strand.

though i have no wish to be flippant at the expense of others' troubles, but the few hours dousing of water experienced by the island ought to ensure that the wildfires reported across scotland, wales, england, france and spain, do not become the subject of local news. but it also highlights a notable failing in the system that brought me to the attention of the tour company in the first place. i have lived here long enough to be aware that early morning summer rain is generally unlikely to persist throughout the day (this is being written in late afternoon and though slightly overcast, the view from my sitting room window is still dry, bright and none too windy).

had i been contacted this morning, i'd have been likely to suggest postponing the start of the ride by around one hour, since there was every chance it could go ahead in more favourable conditions without adding to any risk assessments. local knowledge in the hebrides is often worth its weight in gold, though i confess i saw little problem in a group of cyclists riding in the rain in the first place. i'm assuming they all possessed some variation of waterproofing, and even if it had rained all day, like myself, after a shower and a change of clothes, all would be well with the world.

without wishing to over egg the pudding, this is the west coast of scotland where, even in summer, it can be wet and windy - why do you think our annual bike ride is known as the ride of the falling rain? - conditions that ought to be expected, if not necessarily welcomed. i seriously doubt anyone spends their summer holidays in scotland, hoping for long days in a deckchair on the beach, acquiring a deep brown tan.

there's really nothing wrong with riding in the rain.

sunday 26 july 2026

cleanliness is next to impossible

the trials and tribulations that originate in thewashingmachinepost bike shed are, i'm well aware, no more important or unique than those experienced by others. but, in the process of dealing with some of them, there are fundamental questions that arise which i subsequently feel honour bound to trouble you with.

we have previously discussed the infraction that was visited upon my challenge chicane rear tyre, a happenstance which forced the installation of a challenge strada 33mm on the front wheel, while the chicane that previously occupied that space was swapped to the rear. as we conversed at the time, there's really no legal precedent for mandating the same type of tyre on both wheels simultaneously, though my incredibly mild ocd which, if you mention, i will strenuously deny, would prefer a pair of chicanes or stradas, just to ensure any imbalance in the universe is avoided. to restore the heavenly equilibrium, therefore, i ordered a single chicane which i had planned to fit yesterday afternoon.

with the crux accommodated on the workstand, i sat on the back step to remove the strada from the front wheel, before manfully wrestling a brand new chicane into place. and i really do mean 'wrestle'. unfortunately, i had just forced the final centimetre of bead over the rim when i noticed a repeat of the problem on the existing rear tyre that had sidelined its predecessor. at this juncture, i can but point to pilot error; the maximum pressure stated on the sidewall of each chicane is a lowly, but perfectly adequate 40psi, a pressure that i believe my ageing park tool track pump is incapable of accurately displaying. in other words, i'm pretty sure i have been guilty of over-inflating, causing the tread to separate from the sidewall.

however, with a reasonably lengthy ride to undertake on saturday, i decided discretion to be the better part of valour; i removed and discarded the damaged tyre from the rear wheel, before taking the new tyre from the front wheel and installing it on the now naked rear wheel. unfortunately, i'd then to repeat installation of the strada on the front wheel from which it had just been removed, bringing me right back where i'd started, but with a brand new rear tyre. this time, i employed my cycplus electric tyre pump to inflate the tyre correctly, because it allows me to digitally set the maximum pressure. on reaching that point it cuts out.

in order to maintain a good impression upon those with whom i was cycling on saturday, i then degreased the chain and cleaned it in the hope that its (almost) pristine condition, would mark me out as the nearest we have to a professional on the island. and that's when i noticed the state of my eleven-speed cassette, the grubbiness of which cleverly concealed the former shinyness of said eleven sprockets. aghast that i had let things slide to such a degree, following inflation of the rear tyre and prior to refitting the wheel, i opted to remove the cassette, douse it in wd40 and polish each sprocket individually before reassembly.

that's how the steel-hearted professional achieves warm feelings of velocipedinal pride.

at this point, one of the questions to which i briefly alluded earlier in this monologue, reared its ugly head. polishing the cassette, i admit, had been purely for aesthetic reasons; at that point, i hadn't actually considered mechanical efficiency. but could it be that the latter is over-rated? after all, those eleven sprockets had presumably existed in their embarrassing condition for more than a matter of minutes. and during my recent cycling exploits over the course of several months, i cannot truthfully say that i had noted any lowering of mechanical efficiency, or indeed, any propensity to malfunction.

so, despite a phalanx of products designed to keep the drivetrain in pristine condition, despite the current trend for waxing the chain and despite several youtube videos demonstrating how the great and the good keep their chains, cassettes and chainsets looking brand new, are we actually sure that so doing makes any real difference? admittedly, when i concentrated on bicycle maintenance of a commercial nature, i had one customer (since sadly departed), who simply added more oil to his chain each week without prior cleaning. when the bicycle finally made its way to my care, it was hard to distinguish the chain from a belt drive.

of course, if riding in mud is your regular modus operandi, i seriously fear for your transmission if you simply stick the bike in the bikeshed until next time. but for most of us who indulge in normal bike riding - even if that includes riding on the grass at uiskentuie strand - provided all is regularly lubricated, is a bit of dirt really that much of a problem? surely gravel was not invented by the persil brigade?

while i leave you to ponder that invaluable contribution to bicycle science, i'm off to order another challenge chicane tyre.

saturday 25 july 2026

growth is a six-letter word

on thursday, i received a press release from argyll & bute council, highlighting its resolve to make inroads into the perceived housing crisis reputed to be affecting the region. it's a crisis that, despite my having asked the questions, remains something of a mystery. taking islay as my example, the current population is marginally lower than was the case when i moved to the hebrides almost forty years ago. yet the level of housebuilding that has taken place on the island over the last two decades is by several orders of magnitude higher than the previous two. yet apparently the so-called crisis is nowhere near being solved. there are two principal building contractors at work on islay, neither of which are accepting new building work, due to the amount already being carried out. several of those building private homes on the island, have had to engage the services of mainland contractors to have the work carried out before planning permission runs out.

according to the council, this particular crisis is in sore need of being solved in order that the region's economic growth not be stunted by a lack of homes.

that particular admission has brought me to query (not officially), why it is seen as imperative that economic growth be stimulated, apparently at all costs. i can fully understand why economic growth is desirable, but not why it appears so imperative. what, i find myself asking, was wrong with the economic stability that has seemingly existed for those almost forty years? why is it that businesses, institutions and governments all seek perpetual growth, an ideological achievement that is pragmatically impossible. at some point on the histogram, growth has either to level out, or begin its decline; nothing can continue to grow in perpetuity.

this is a state of affairs easily observable in the financial markets, where share prices have a propensity to drop, if only because un-named analysts find themselves disappointed that profits were less impressive than they had predicted. only in human endeavour could businesses become less valuable because their multi-billion pound profits levelled out at £50 million rather than an expected £52 million.

granted, economic growth ought best infuse the treasury's coffers with increased tax receipts, but even in periods when that has occurred, there seems to have been little tangible benefit for those paying those increased taxes. year after year, britain's regional councils point out the substantial gap between the money they need and that bestowed by central government; yet we are regularly informed that the country has benefitted from stimulated economic growth. at whatever level of purported growth we find ourselves, life is what it is.

having once again queried matters concerning the economy which i continually fail to comprehend, i wondered if similar questions ought to be levelled at the velocipedinal realm, where growth is also often a highlighted factor, particularly by groups such as cycling uk and british cycling, to say nothing of local and national government. all of the above make continual mention of desired growth in the number of members of the population utilising cycling as their principal means of transport or leisure activity. to an extent, that does make some sense, when not considered in isolation. when it comes to climate change and greenhouse gas emissions, bicycles have a considerably better reputation than motor vehicles, whether fossil-fuelled or electric. but at some point in the paradigm, growth changes from desirable to aspirational; an end in itself as opposed to a means to an end.

though it's eminently possible that the hierarchy within cycling uk and the respective department within central government would claim that the sooner they become redundant, the better, in fact, successfully promulgating an increase in those riding bicycles is that which keeps them in gainful employment. were society at large to place an upper limit on the number of cyclists the nation is willing to accept, achieving it would surely result in voluntary redundancy?

as far as i'm aware, there are no motoring organisations which spend their time and funding, strenuously attempting to enthuse the great unwashed as to the health benefits of driving. cars are what cars are; freewill allows society to choose any motor car they wish. yet, if the bicycle truly is the transportational/leisure device of the future, why is so much time, effort and money spent on persuading folks to ride them? if it's as brilliant as we all know it to be, surely, like the motor car, it would sell itself? are we perhaps diverting our attentions to the matter of growth in cycling when we really ought to be making better use of our time and energy?

of course, as with so many of these daily monologues, my question is rhetorical, because i simply don't know the answer(s). but perhaps we ought to set aside, for the moment, the subject of growth, especially when we are in danger of mistaking the pointing finger for that of the moon.

friday 24 july 2026

rssc sports cycling kit

in the days when computers from apple followed the unwritten diktat that they could be any colour as long as it was beige, that fact bothered me not one whit. from a functional point of view, the colour of the external cladding seemed of little consequence; as long as photoshop did as it was told in timeous fashion, or indesign didn't stumble when rendering my latest sentences, the colour of the computer was of little concern. i will admit not only to having owned a blue imac but an orange clamshell ibook into the bargain, but to a certain extent, just like the beige that preceded it, there wasn't a great deal of choice in the matter.

admissions such as the above are not intended to paint me as conservative (with a small 'c'), rather than a fun-loving extrovert, but simply one allegedly able to separate form from function. after all, i do own a blue art decor colnago c40 and a molteni orange master x-light which surely says it all? but confirmation of my underlying boring-ness can probably be still identified when time comes to choose my cycling apparel. a black, blue or even red jersey matched with black bibshorts is frequently my uniform du jour, though i do possess a stone-white waterproof jacket; the other one's black.

the problems began when rssc sports offered to send a cycling kit for review, one that could be chosen from their extensive range of co-ordinated jerseys and bibshorts, a range which is unashamedly bright, sparkly, different and very definitely not the clothing you'd chose if the inner you is a shrinking violet. purely from personal observation of visiting cyclists, it's possible that i am in a couture minority amongst the velominati. midst the options available for choice were designs labelled alien creatures, haida native turtle, kokopelli and colourful abstract. for someone claiming to be at one with computer beige, this was scary stuff.

however, after lengthy deliberation, i opted for that which you see in the accompanying illustrations. listed as plaid, it's resemblance to a warm tartan, applied to both the jersey and bibs, seemed an apposite choice for a scottish velocipedinist. thankfully, in all my long years of reviewing cycling apparel, there seems to be little variation in the sizing of product sourced from all across the world: medium in jackets and jerseys, small in bibs and tights. on receipt of the goods, the sizing was darned near perfect. should you opt to follow in my tyre tracks, i'm somewhere around 70kg, 1.75m in height and with a 75cm waist.

as it transpired, very uncharacteristically for a hebridean cyclist, my first ride clad in plaid was undertaken in 21 degree heat, wearing a short-sleeve jersey with an appreciable (and very welcome) collar, a full-length zip, the requisite elasticated three rear pockets, though there may be some difficulty in acquiring matching arm warmers. those pockets comfortably accepted a (literally) pocket-sized electric tyre pump, a tyre-jack, a torque-wrench with various attachments and the necessary essentials case with coffee money. i don't ever recall wearing a short-sleeve jersey on which the sleeves moved about, and i'm happy to say that perpetuity continued. the gloop along the hemline ensured that, despite some negotiations on a 14% incline, the only thing that moved was me.

though i probably shouldn't say, the notion of wearing bibshorts which continued the plaid pattern about their person was not one i was particularly endeared to, but it's hardly a factor when cycling, and at least there are black portions to hide one's modesty. the leg grippers kept the shorts precisely where i left them, providing a relatively sharp tan-line above the knee for the first time this summer. my one gripe would be the padded insert, which is probably just a smidgeon on the thick side; there was no instance of chafing, but it did initially feel as i'd placed a cushion on my saddle. and it could be that, just like flann o'brien's third policeman, eventually the molecules of shorts and cyclist will interchange and glorious comfort will ensue. subsequent bike rides would indicate that might be a possibility, but essentially, a slightly thinner pad might be a suggestion.

i'd imagine that every cyclist in the world has become well-acquainted with the washing machine, unless you have the good fortune to be contracted to a tour de france team. it is perhaps one of the few genres of apparel which finds itself being swirled with gusto in soap-infested water after only a few hours of productive activity. and, as i mentioned in a recent monologue, less expensive offerings are often found not to resemble their original condition when pinned to the wash line. these are not they; though i have not owned these particular items long enough to know for certain, after the first few washes, all seems good and proper.

rssc sports also sent me a long-sleeve jersey and a pair of (unlined) bibtights, the review of which will have to wait until the weather changes for the worse. but, very much in the company's favour, the price of admission is embarrassingly low; jersey and bibshorts currently retail via the rssc sport website at £33. at the time of writing, there's a sale taking place, and several jerseys and bibs can be purchased for a mere £19 (including this jersey only, if you'd prefer your shorts all-black). it's very hard to argue with that.

sizes range from small all the way to 4xl, and i think you'd have to be very hard to please not to find something on the rssc website that takes your fancy.

rssc sports

thursday 23 july 2026

mistaken identity

i have repeated this particular (true) anecdote on a previous occasion, but given its relevance to today's monologue, i think it worth giving it another airing. many years ago, the local leisure centre applied for a grant to replace the building's internal lighting with light emitting diodes (led) in order to reduce both their energy bill and carbon footprint. the funding was ultimately granted (pun intended), but came with more than just a smidgeon of environmental baggage, requiring the management to implement an additional programme with environmental benefits.

management elected to create what was entitled wisp, an acronym for whisky island sustainability project, responsible for encouraging cycling, walking, car sharing and one or two associated projects. in fact, i actually gained training in cycle leadership, passing the final exam with flying colours, but still awaiting the certificate to prove it (after more than two decades, i think that's probably a lost cause). unfortunately, i think the only individual who actually believed this might make a difference, was the young lady appointed to oversee the project. due to the nature of islay and jura communities, it's really not a problem to get a lift from a neighbour, or even someone passing through the village.

and given that i had personally spent the previous dozen years attempting to persuade the population to ride bicycles with not one iota of success, the notion that a short-term, two year sustainability programme might succeed was very probably a bit of a non-starter. sadly that turned out to be the case. however, one aspect of the project was the acquisition of an early model electric mountain bike, which oddly, could be lent out free of charge, but not rented; the leisure centre was barred from earning any money from the bicycle.

as it transpired, when the e-bike was delivered, the project leader was on holiday, so the centre manager asked if i would take the bike for a trial run. the bicycle adhered to the uk pedelec regulations, with its speed capped at 25kph; however, when explaining the various parts of the bike, the distributor told me that if i held down the two buttons on the battery display for five seconds, that would over-ride the limiter, and the bicycle would achieve a top speed of 48kph. and, probably every bit as illegal, though the motor was actuated through pedal-assist, it was also possible to power the bike via a handlebar mounted throttle.

in the light of a recent news release from cycling uk recounting the ill-advised assessment of an e-bike by birmingham constabularly - they identified it as being of the s-pedelec variety (and therefore illegal in the uk) - there is more than just a modicum of relevance. the leisure centre bicycle i described above would easily have passed any tests of illegality, unless the police had been armed with the information concerning the two buttons on the battery display. yet, take a wander around glasgow's sauchiehall street in early evening, and it's easy to spot demonstrably illegal e-bikes being ridden by pizza delivery riders; yet the police drive past without so much as a second look. if the rider keeps pedalling as the bike moves at a relatively sedate pace, there's really nothing to advertise the level of illegality, and no doubt the police have more important tasks with which to deal?

in the case highlighted by cycling uk, the reputedly illegal e-bike was not only confiscated, but subsequently destroyed, despite belonging to birmingham bike foundry. in video evidence posted on youtube, the police 'verified' its non-conformity, by spinning the pedals to demonstrate that the speedometer could exceed 25kph, seemingly unware that any e-bike is capable of so doing; the test is whether the motor is still engaged past 25kph. this particular bike, it turns out, was completely legal, and cycling uk are now challenging the police in court to have the penalty against the rider dismissed (including six points on his driver's licence), and the bike foundry compensated for the loss of a £6,000 bike.

obviously enough, either the police had not been correctly trained in such matters, or had simply adopted an error-filled means of testing of their own volition. but following on from my recent observations as to the increasing complexity of the velocipedinal realm, it now looks as if there are already a slew of unintended consequences fostered by what might legitimately be regarded as complexity for complexity's sake. hydraulic disc brakes, wireless gear change mechanisms, electric motors powering disturbingly illegal bicycles, misuse of which can cause untold harm in the hands of the untrained. the latter can be seen almost every weekend on islay, when groups of visitors (predominantly teenagers and those in their early twenties) riding bikes for the first time since they were about ten, seemingly unaware of the traffic surrounding them and the fact that they really should be paying more attention.

when a bicycle-friendly country like the netherlands has had to introduce legal constraints against use of certain e-bikes on cycle tracks, you know that things are not heading in the direction envisaged by the oft-misguided industry.

remember when radiation was supposed to be healthy?

wednesday 22 july 2026

fixed gear

somewhere, in the cupboard under the stairs, lies a vintage copy of barnett's bicycle manual, though i'd be fibbing if i said i knew which particular edition, and, if memory serves correctly, it is accompanied by a couple of editions of sutherland's handbook for bicycle mechanics. if i'm completely honest, i bought all the above in the early 1990s if only because of absent peer pressure. i had decided that at least one branch of my future career would be that of bicycle mechanic, and a bit like having to own a drumset if planning on being a drummer, i thought purchase of those distinctly american books would enhance my credibility.

the more astute amongst you will already know that such was a completely false hope.

while barnett's manual provided exactingly detailed steps on how to undertake a wide range of tasks likely to be experienced by the common or garden bicycle mechanic, sutherland's was more a compendium of measurements, charts and specifications relating to cycle componentry. you would be perfectly correct in your assumption if you are already thinking that both books would be pretty much out-of-date by the time they were published, since not only would new components have been introduced as both went to print, but new methodology would undoubtedly have arisen in response.

and echoing the situation experienced of art college versus real life, akin to taking an entire term to produce a single poster in graphics studio, barnett's procedures were painfully laboured. to wit, when adjusting the cones on a wheel hub (many will be wondering just what a cone actually is), the mechanic was advised to use the correct cone spanner on the cone on one side of the axle, while holding steady the locknut on the opposite side. the cone was then to be rotated a quarter turn before checking for play, and continue to do so, quarter-turn at a time, until resistance could be felt when rotating the axle. at that point, the mechanic ought best to loosen the cone a quarter turn before tightening the locknut to maintain the cone adjustment.

should play or drag be recognised after the locknut was tightened, the locknut should then be loosened once again and the adjustment process re-visited. you can surely imagine the temperament of the bike shop owner, should his mechanic employ such a laboured approach to repairs. i can assure you, after undertaking the above process a couple of times, it would only be a complete numpty who continued to adhere to barnett's laboured instruction.

i'm unsure if any bike shop still introduces either volume to their apprentice mechanics; the last print version of barnett's was the 5th edition in the early part of this century, following which it went online. and, as i understand, the publisher was purchased by another, and all seems to have come to naught. sutherland's is still available as a book and pdf, but i've no idea how up-to-date it is. (anecdotal evidence would suggest its contents have not been updated since 2004.

whether there is any demand for contemporary editions of either of the above would surely depend on economic concerns; after all, the mail order catalogues that used to form a substantial pile adjacent to mrs washingmachinepost's side of the bed, are now consigned to history, having moved online where updating can be done in the twinkling of an eye. unfortunately, online is not the most convenient format for a bicycle mechanic attempting to hold bearings in place while adjusting the preload and turn the page while wearing a pair of blue, grease-covered park tool rubber gloves. and aside from that, when i made use of barnett's and sutherland's in the mid 1990s, bicycles were a great deal less complex than they are today.

the very thought of attempting to replace a hydraulic brake hose that disappears into the frame void via the head tube is the sort of procedure that would keep me awake at night, as would having to assess why an electronic gear system fails to operate. though i'm not proud of it, i once had to purchase a replacement rim brake after inadvertently snapping the centre bolt. thankfully, that wasn't particularly pricey, but i'd hate to think of the cost of replacement of a damaged electronic derailleur, should my interpretation of the manual prove to have been somewhat error prone. proper bike shops, i'd imagine, would have appropriate insurance.

bicycles, for what it's worth, are way too complex these days. while the industry adds feature after electronic feature with wild abandon, a portion of the drum industry has headed in the opposite direction, releasing a very expensive snare drum based on a model from the 1940s. i own one of these, a single-ply drum which arrived at the croft in mid-june, only two weeks after its release and which is simplicity itself to play and operate. the tension rods even make use of the same tuning key which originated in the 1930s.

far be it for me to say which one is right and which is wrong.

tuesday 21 july 2026