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soap

originally broadcast on america's abc channel for four years between september 1977 and april 1981, soap was essentially a convoluted tv soap, the objective of which was to offer a send-up of tv soaps everywhere. the latter form of brodcasting is, essentially, relatively cheap to make, relying to a certain extent on longevity of the programming to justify the initial expense of constructing stage sets that are expected to have a lifespan, hopefully, of decades. they also rely on varying levels of scriptwriting that emulate the function of chapters in books. leave the reader (or in this case, the tv audience) clamouring for more, eager to watch the next episode or read the next chapter to find out what happens next. the challenge, for the writer in either case, is to keep that going for as long as possible. in the case of an author, that ends with the final chapter (unless a sequel is already underway); for a tv scriptwriter, the challeneg is seemingly perpetual, presumably justifying why many tv soaps employ a group of writers.

in the age of streaming and decidedly intangible box sets, instead of having to wait a day or week to discover how any particular situation is resolved, entire series can be watched in a single sitting, always assuming you're prepared to go to work the following day with bloodshot eyes and a glaringly obvious sleep deficiency. it's also why advertisers are often seen to be clamouring for broadcast time on the ad break, or perhaps even sponsoring the whole enchilada, in the fervent hope that a successful, frequently watched tv soap, will forever be associated with their brand. to what it is rarely referred, however, is sport.

confused? you will be.

now that tnt sports has raised the price barrier, fewer of us now witness the tv soap that is world tour cycle racing, a series of activities that fit the bill perfectly, or sometimes don't. i am under no misapprehension that my fascination with each subsequent cyclocross season is little different from those who watch eastenders or coronation street. from october until february, often twice weekly, i can watch the consequences of eli iserbyt getting all in a froth with ryan kamp and stamping on his back wheel, before being suspended for three events. i can watch guest stars mathieu van der poel and wout van aert appearing for a few disparate episodes and upsetting the apple cart without actually undermining the main narrative, and i can eagerly watch episode/race after episode/race to see if thibau nys fulfils his early season potential.

but let's not rest our laurels on relative obscurity, when a higher profile soap is being currently played out in french france. only yesterday afternoon i was conveying to a fellow member of the pelotonese, how slovenian wunderkind, tadej pogacar, was languishing in seventh place on the dauphiné, behind race leader, remco evenepoel and even arch-rival (soap operas thrive on arch-rivals) jonas vingegaard. this led to a brief discussion as to how much any of the above actors might be keeping under wraps, so as not to give away their performance level prior to the upcoming three weeks in july. then, as i sat down to commence today's monologue, i learn that pog has bunny-hopped both remco and jonas to place himself in the yellow jersey, converting a 38 second deficit into a 43 second lead in one fell swoop.

this has altered what was in danger of becoming a humdrum outing across the channel into an event that most of us will be eagerly anticipating over this weekend, given the hilly parcours ahead. of course, by the time you read this, pog might either have increased his lead by an unassailable amount, or jonas might have simply been keeping his powder dry until the very last moment. either way, those with the income to justify a tnt sports subscription will be glued to the telly-box, while the rest of us make do with after-the-fact reporting on the major cycling websites. the compulsion will surely be hard to avoid.

a phrase oft repeated in situations such as these is 'you couldn't make it up', because if you did, there's a strong possibility no-one would believe you. which effectively beggars the question, are tadej, jonas and remco aware of the existential nature of their day job? was remco sufficiently self-aware to realise that, though he had a very strong time-trial within him to grab yellow, he felt less than equal to the future gradients. and was tadej similarly confident in his latent abilities to hang about at the back of the general classification, knowing full well that the summit finish in combloux had his name written on it. but the soap fans amongst us are now keen to learn whether he has left his beach towel atop stage seven, or whether jonas, the only member of the trio yet to wear yellow, is waiting in the wings.

see what i mean? it's not actually sport; it's a soap.

saturday 14 june 2025

misguided?

i read an article in yesterday's guardian newspaper which highlighted the use of artificial intelligence in the restoration of damaged or degraded old master paintings. perhaps unsurprisingly, included in the process is adobe's flagship image-editing software, photoshop which, following import of a hi-res scan of the original painting, creates a mask overlaying the latter on which a.i. highlights areas in need of repair. the image used by way of a demonstration was referred to as painted by 'master of the prado adoration' a dutch painter whose name has been lost to history. the photoshop mask allowed a digital reconstruction of the damaged painting, subsequently printed onto a polymer sheet that can be placed over the original image.

according to the report, the overlay can be removed if necessary with the use of proprietary solvents.

aside from the contested practice of placing the polymer atop an original painting, the technique's inventor admitted that there are certain ethical issues to be considered, but there was no doubt that the development drastically reduced the time required to save age-damaged paintings, dropping from years to hours. the justification for doing so, however, surely rests in the knowledge that art lovers and historians all across the world, by and large prefer to witness consolidated paintings, bereft of the cracks, missing paint and discoloured areas. i'd imagine the majority are invested in seeing these great works as they would have been at the time of their creation. in such cases, surely artifice trumps originality?

there are parallels to be seen in the drum world, where there's a whole sub-set of drum nerds who are more enthused by the acquisition of orginal drums from the 1930s - 40s, whether they're functional or not. the fly-in-the-ointment contained within the enthusiasm of the vintage drum collector is that the attempt to emulate the percussive delights of early jazz drummers rests on the knowledge that said drums were, perhaps unfortunately, brand new.

but of course, misguided appreciation is no stranger to the velocipedinal world; were evidence required to justify such a brash statement, look no further than the many youtube videos and online articles describing and displaying the 'latest tech' from any major cycling event you care to mention. when you consider the cost and limited availability of many of these so-called innovations, the appetite for their wholesale appreciation is grossly over-stated, even if disturbingly accurate. and yet, half-way into the third decade of the new century, the practice continues critically unabated (present monologue excepted).

my present contention relates to the release early last week, of campagnolo's latest groupset, introducing thirteen rear sprockets to the professional and amateur pelotons at lower (yet still expensive) cost than its predecessor. it's a release that seems to not only have garnered resounding approbation, following many a years of expressed doubts concerning vicenza's future, but one that sheds new confidence in campagnolo's oblique strategies.

in essence, however, campagnolo has exhibited a similar appreciation of the inherent nerdiness of the cognoscenti as do both of its principal peers. yesterday morning, entitled Bike Atel13r: where excellence meets innovation in the subject line, an e-mail arrived highlighting a range of cycle manufacturers who had outfitted their bestest bicycles with the new groupset. no different than my fellow aficionados, i clicked the link promising to show 'an exclusive collection of exceptional bikes: from top brands to the most refined bespoke creations' which, if i'm perfectly honest, the atel13r was exactly as i expected, consisting of seventeen bicycles, from which perhaps the strongest impression gained was just how similar they all appear, and that's before noticing the wireless super-record components.

in all honesty, why were any of us drawn to look at photographs of very expensive stationary bicycles? though aesthetics ride high amongst the chosen ones, surely the best part of cycling is the riding itself? the rest is just showing off outside the coffee stop.

friday 13 june 2025

finding your bearings

a long lost friend who moved farther north decades ago, was the first to offer bicycles for hire on islay, with a heinz 57 varieties of velocipedes contained within the garage attached to the post office of which he was postmaster (long before horizon was even thought of). from where he had acquired these bicycles in the first place, i was too scared to ask, but in the process of normal social interaction, my services were engaged to maintain this small fleet of cycles only a few years after i arrived in the hebrides.

that first season taught us both quite a lot in terms of what visitors were looking for and just how incompetent the majority were at riding bicycles. i doubt things are much better nowadays, when it often seems that cycle-hirers haven't ridden any shape of bicycle since before their ages hit double-digits. and in common with those who hire cars, because it's not their's, there seems little, if any desire to treat the bicycles with at least a modicum of care. and as a good friend of mine advised several years ago, 'people don't read signs.

the latter was clear following the regular return of many bicycles after extended rides along the sandy beach that constitutes the big strand. this inevitably led to yours truly, sat in the doorway of the bike shed, surrounded by cycle wheels, removing wheel locknuts and bearing seals, cleaning sand out of hub shells, before filling them with new grease and bearings, then readjusting the cones. it was a somewhat tedious but necessary past-time, inevitably accompanied by applying a similar process to the good old square taper bottom bracket. and all this after asking folks not to ride along the strand, augmented with a clear printed sign situated above the bicycles.

at the time, i recall thinking that i'd sell my soul for a fleet of bicycles featuring seemingly higher tech cartridge bearings. but somewhere in the darkened depths of thewashingmachinepost bikeshed, lies a front wheel built on a white industries, polished alloy hub, smoothly running on cartridge bearings, removal of which, if memory serves, required an honours degree in physics. similar difficulties have subsequently presented themselves across the intervening years, particularly with reference to rear hubs, several of which have helpfully contained a cartridge bearing midway through the hub shell; relatively easy to remove, but an uncontested nightmare when trying to replace it.

i recall my naive fandom that had me opt for hubs, headsets or bottom brackets which featured cartridge bearings, rather than anything that dared to equal my own luddite tendencies with individual bearings and some grease (or not, as in the case of a number of raleigh bikes). the only possible exception to which i'd be willing to admit is a cartridge bearing headset, a strain of steering ease that has great merit, if only because it rarely entails the necessity of replacing the crown race.

a few years ago, campagnolo kindly sent a pair of bora wto 45mm carbon wheels for review, in which the accompanying literature made plain that the hubs still rolled on cup and cone bearings. with another of the sunday peloton having also purchased a set of campag wheels, it has become obvious that both sets of wheels roll far better than others on cartridge bearings. and that can be easily explained when you learn that the bearings enclosed within the outer cartridge are considerably smaller and fewer than is possible by popping in a set of loose bearings.

so why is this worthy of consideration? well, a recent article on bikeradar was keen to point out that for the first time, the latest iteration of shimano's xtr hubs has eschewed the ball bearing in favour of replacing them with the cartridge variety. there's no doubt that fabrication times are reduced by simply fitting cartridge bearings, a setup that eases use of automation. artificial intelligence, accompanied by robots is not yet the equal of loose bearings and copious grease. historically, campagnolo has seen fit to plough its own furrow, no matter what the competition does, so we can but hope that vicenza will remain the ancestral home of the ball bearing for the foreseeable future.

thursday 12 june 2025

source material

having effectively disassociated myself with the review factory that is the bicycle industry, in order to fill these pixels on a daily basis, you may have noticed that i require the ability to expound upon a particular velocipedinal subject; in other words, voice an opinion that i have spent 29 years trying to convince my reader, is not only worth voicing, but also worth listening to. that remarkably fragile construction of purported experience is, as many of you will have already sussed, built on sand. i do have many years of experience writing thewashingmachinepost, but from a certain and probably educated point of view, that might be considerably different than knowing anything about bicycles or the industry which spawned them in the first place.

my day job at a newspaper has taught me that, when the pages look like being bereft of the news that people are being asked to pay for, it's time to conduct at least a modicum of research, the result of which will, hopefully, provide a solid basis for compulsive exposition. in truth, that almost always works to a greater or lesser degree, and it's a modus operandi that i'm still hoping is a transferable skill. to that end, i regularly trawl the industry journals and websites along with other online sources in the search for velocipedinal succour. however, lest you think me at risk of incurring plagiarism, let me disavow you of that notion.

the missing word is inspiration.

since i do enjoy the written word, as both writer and reader, i have remained distant from the so-called vlog, particularly in the light of having neither video editing software, a video camera of any description, nor, indeed, the time to employ both of the latter. similarly, given the professionalism demonstrated by even the least popular cycling podcast, talking into a microphone connected to garageband seems too far from entertainment to be worth a punt. a bit like the reason i do not drive (i'm not a very good driver), i think vlogging and podcasting are best left well alone for the benefit of all.

however, in similar manner to curating news wholly relevant to residents of the isles of islay and jura, providing content for a cycling blog is notionally ring-fenced; my opinion of sending in the troops in california would be the very definition of irrelevant. and while certain portions of the cycle industry seem hell-bent on self destruction, or heading ever further into the corporate realm, i am just a tad concerned that my allegedly educated opinions on any such matters lean just a bt too far towards the negative side of the barometer.

but just when it seems possible that i might run out of bona-fide subject matter in which anyone might find interest, despair turns to relative joy. were i better organised, i would have a lengthy string of possible entreaties which afford the time and opportunity to research in advance of placing fingers on keyboard, but i fear those days are long gone. currently i hope to channel my love of jazz improvisation, by sitting down after work to figure out what might fill the black and yellow pixels for yet another day. however, the rules are that it has to be of some interest to someone, and hopefully to me too.

it's not often that the words insane and mad are employed when describing the new bike on the block, but according to future publishing's online outlets, cycling weekly and cycling news, that is the kneejerk reaction to factor's new aero bike, unreleased, but seen at the criterium du dauphine, currently underway in french france. despite having been previously advised by both websites that aero is so yesterday's thing, it would appear that factor have not been paying attention. however, what they have been paying attention to is the habit of cutting edge track bikes featuring front and rear (seatstay) forks that appear to have been conceived to accommodate either two side-by-side wheels or one of those fashionably wide knobblies beloved of the unbound brigade.

a recent e-mail from an italian domiciled friend contained a link to the radavist website and an illustrated article featuring beautiful bicycles from this year's los angeles invitational. top of the list was a beautifully restored lugged steel colner, a secondary brand once offered by ernesto colnago. in true aficionado style, the brake cables exited the top of the lever hoods, the gear levers sat atop the narrow downtube, and the rear brake cable was fastened to the top tube by chromed metal clips. in the hope that you won't think less of me, i will refrain from stating just how long i sat in fervent envy of such a glorious bicycle. it even had an identically painted tyre pump affixed vertically to the seat tube.

when my gaze alighted on factor's utterly hideous aero bike, i cannot deny that the temptation to don a black armband in tribute to everything we've lost was all but overwhelming. i understand that dave brailsford's invention of marginal gains made it hard for team sky's peers to avoid joining the happy throng, but good grief charlie brown, cycling has long been referred to as the beautiful sport, a title that is every much at the behest of the bicycles as it is aimed at the sport's practitioners.

the uci has been roundly castigated on many an occasion for its introduction of particularly odd and oft-times irrelevant regulations, but where are the blazers from aigle when it's time for much-needed aesthetic reinforcement? to quote private frazer from dad's army, "we're all doomed captain mainwaring."

photo: the radavist/la invitational

wednesday 11 june 2025

annunciation

you'd think that placenames without any difficult agglomeration of consonants would prove simplicity itself in the pronunciation stakes, but any clash of gaelic with english derivations is bound to create difficulties at some point along the conversational trajectory. take port askaig for instance, islay's most northerly ferry port and from whence the council's far smaller car ferry departs and arrives to and from the isle of jura across the tidal stretch of water known, confusingly, as the sound of islay.

for those of us domiciled in the hub of the universe, the emphasis is placed on the opening vowel of the second word: port aaaskaig. but despite my having used the two words in regular discussion with my parents for many a long year, my father stil insisted on emphasising the word port and the latter vowels of the word askaig.

obviously, i didn't think this through before commencing; it would probably have made a great deal more sense to have framed this discussion as a podcast. however, since we're already down the rabbit hole, i will continue unabated.

islay placenames such as bunnahabhain and bruichladdich are amongst the exceptions, and are almost invariably pronounced incorrectly, but that will hardly come as a surprise. but even bowmore, from where i currently spout forth, possesses its very own problems; yet again, the emphasis is on the second syllable, and the three letters b-o-w are not pronounced as if it's the front of a calmac ferry. however, given the purported velocipedinal nature of this blog, we ought best to move on.

a former colleague who moved to the scottish mainland several years past, has been conspicuous by his omnipresent radio silence. that sort of thing happens, but one or two members of the sunday peloton keep tabs on his progress via the ubiquitous strava, mention of which commenced a short debate as to how that particular trademarked appellation ought to be pronounced. after all, when considering the ill-fated komoot, the majority will annunciate the latter with the emphasis on the second syllable (oot). based entirely on that knowledge, it would surely not be contrary to any restrictive conventions to pronounce strava underlining the va, sounding very similar to the name of norwegian pop band, aha with the implied silent exclamation mark.

common consent would have it that the latter pronunciation sounded decidedly more in keeping with the unwritten philosophy that is considered an integral part of the cycling meme.

but however you choose to pronounce strava, it has become likely that strava's offices in san francisco are being positioned as the centre from which their bid for world domination will be based. already they have assured their future by providing relevant cycling data to councils and governments the world over (and you thought they were just being friendly), but in order to add to that information repository, they have just acquired cycle training app the breakaway (not to be confused with orla's band of merry men, following tnt sports grand tour broadcasts). from the information provided on the breakaway's website, this looks, from the outside at least, a case of technological incest, to wit: "The Breakaway starts with your existing data. We use data from your indoor workouts (Zwift and Peloton), your outdoor workouts (Garmin, Hammerhead and Wahoo), and your biometrics (Oura). If you use Strava we can usually get a lot of that data from one source."

strava's acquisition appears designed to ensure that data never strays too far from its homeland. this particular purchase has been preceded by that of the eponymously named runna, and i'm guessing you won't have too much difficulty sussing what their imperative might be.

it will surprise you not one wit to learn that i do not possess a strava account, and even if i did, there would not be any training taking place. my principal reasons for avoiding the app, other than the fact i have no mobile device on which it may reside, is the suspicion of duplicity, a not altogether unfounded accusation. as mentioned above, though you may find it helpful to study the results of your recent outings, it's no real secret that strava finds that information even more helpful, particularly from a financial point of view. the ability to freely aggregate the anonymised data scraped from millions of bike rides all across the world, allows them to provide interested parties with information that might be assistive to transport departments of all nationalities. though i'm not sure it's entirely cynical to contend in public, there's every likelihood strava was either founded to do precisely that, or perhaps a happy accident that became ever clearer as the years rolled by.

as the saying goes, "if it seems too good to be true, it probably is." though i can see little harm in strava's current business model, the acquisition and inclusion of two distinct training apps might be seen as one (or both) of two things; to prevent users straying too far, or to ensure they have a monopoly on related data. how long before it all becomes overseen by some iteration of artificial intelligence, or purchased by meta and providing strava's founders with the payday fom heaven.

just saying.

tuesday 10 june 2025

tales of mystery and suspension

as has been pointed out elsewhere, the recent unbound gravel event has become to the gravel world what the tour de france is to the road-going fraternity in terms of the technology on display. many of the widgets, gee-gaws and developments clandestinely on hidden display provide teasers to that which may soon appear on the manufacturers' websites in the fullness of time. i will not pretend that i have undertaken relentless research into the whys and wherefores, if only because the whole gravel thing is not one that inspires me, but i do wonder why it is that world gravel champion, mathieu van der poel, continually seems conspicuous by his absence.

however, as i have highlighted to the point of boredom/irritation, what need had we of gravel bikes when the all but identical cyclocross bicycle has been available for decades? my specialized crux, delivered to the hebrides almost nine years ago, was sent as a bona-fide cyclocross bicycle. but never one to ignore a bandwagon as it passes, specialized now class the current version as a gravel bike, unless you select the cyclocross link, in which case, it's one of those, despite tyres that are not uci legal and a set of sprockets that would be undoubtedly surplus to requirements at hoogerheide or koksijde. if they are truly interchangeable, then there's no real difference.

but, much like the advent of disc brakes on road bikes, this particular avenue of the sport may be subject to the marketing whims of the more prominent marques. as ever, the question remains as to just what you'd sell to householders once everyone has double-glazing (cursory observation would suggest it's probably solar panels)? once everyone owns a gravel bike, from whence cometh your future income? though the professionals will be eager to ride anything that might offer one or more marginal gains, for the ordinary chap on the gravel, every subsequent development seems to entail necessary acquisition of yet another new bicycle. it's a bit like my attempt to convince mrs washingmachinepost that a thirteenth gear would be of immense benefit to my creaking legs, thus surely demanding campagnolo's new wireless super-record.

as tyres become wider and wider, many have already teased the upper limits of the clearance provided by the first or even second generation of gravel bikes. my specialized is capable of accommodating a maximum width of 43mm, but it seems that tyres in excess of 50mm are rapidly becoming de rigeur. but if you will allow a modicum of smugness here, 50mm is twice 25mm, the latter being the equivalent of one-inch; in short, two inches wide. at that point, we enter mountain bike territory, so why not simply fit a set of drop bars on a mountain bike?

and still in the tyre meme, do we really believe that the major tyre companies need to produce two to two and a half-inch mountain bike tyres, while creating similar widths of gravel-specific tyres? i am no tyre technician, but is there really that much of a difference required in tread patterns? surely there must be a definable and observable overlap? however, the duplication of effort has apparently not ended there. the possibilities of suspension forks applied to gravel bicycles is not a recent revelation, but in most cases these were one-offs fitted to the bikes of sponsored professionals. in which case, their feedback must have been considered positive, as reportedly, several principal marques are soon to offer off-the-shelf gravel bikes replete with suspension forks (or, in some cases, suspension stems).

do not misunderstand me; having viewed excerpts from one or two gravel events, i can understand the desire for something that might resolve the endless chatter from the front wheel while negotiating real gravel. but i'm surely not the only one reminded of bicycles already available that sport two-inch plus tyre widths married to front suspension forks. isn't that the very definition of the ubiquitous hardtail? so it seems that the industry has invented an entirely new genre of bicycle (!) that is almost identical to one that has existed for decades. how unfortunately serendipitous.

and while we're heavily into the subject of innovations, there is evidence that a professional entrant in the 2025 unbound event, drilled a second hole in his wheel rims opposite the existing valve hole. though running tubeless tyres, the seccond hole was to allow the fitment of an uninflated inner-tube, just in case an irrepairable puncture should befall the tubeless tyre. perhaps ride a clincher setup in the first place?

just in case you have a death-wish to emulate the professionals, i wouldn't recommed drilling the wheels on your own gravel machine, particularly if they happen to be of the carbon variety. the very least of your worries would be a voiding of the warranty.

monday 9 june 2025

right first time

based on first-hand observation, it appears that many who would certainly not consider themselves to be cyclists in the way that you and i probably do, the advent of the e-bike and, separately, electronic shifting, has led many to consider those two individual developments to include automatic gear shifting. the tangible disappointment on discovering how wrong they were, in several cases was glaringly obvious. however, even casual observation of non-cyclists on e-bikes would demonstrate that a majority simply flick the chain into the smallest sprocket and leave it there. this has been backed up by mechanical evidence demonstrating that, when time comes to replace the cassette on an e-bike, the majority show the greatest wear on the three smallest sprockets.

it is a fact of life that, even amongst those who might well consider themselves to be amongs the cognoscenti, the grasp of how and why to change gear is still something of a mystery. i have ridden with many over recent years who keep the chain in the smaller sprockets even when climbing, or slogging into a headwind. similarly, it is not uncommon to see the chain firmly in the outer ring, yet simultaneously in the biggest sprocket at the rear. and those are the very folks who never lubricate, nor replace the chain at suitable intervals. i have no real idea why this is the case, though it may the result of a disappearing hierarchy; those of us who learned long before shimano though of indexing.

of course, the advent of single chainrings up front, married to an ever increasing number of wide-ranging sprockets at the rear, has meant that the chain is now designed to cope with larger and smaller gears, but i am surmising that, to do so, lateral flexing has been improved, but possibly at the expense of service intervals. soon, however, all of the above may be consigned to history; once more, i may be posting articles exaggerating those halcyon days of yore, when stopping mid-climb to remove and turn the rear wheel to allow use of a larger sprocket, was as common as cotter pins (look it up) on the cranks.

shimano, the inveterate tinkerers and developers that they are, have released their q'auto system, offering battery-free, automatic gear shifting for the masses.

and if nothing else, the release of q'auto with pretty much no fanfare whatsoever on youtube confirms that we are a totally self-obsessed bunch. campagnolo's thirteen-speed wireless super-record elicited the expected number of first look videos, but i could find only a couple of videos issued by shimano, and none at all from the expected sources regarding what i consider to be a particularly important milestone in bicycle design. granted, you and i are hardly the target market, but surely i can't be the only one to see the possibilities for the cutting edge?

basically the rear freehub contains a dynamo to provide a necessary electrical charge to power the rear derailleur, a component that is, apparently, fully compatible with shimano's wireless di2 systems. however, that freehub also features three sensors to track speed, cadence and slope, changing gear automatically when it determines the need. additionally, and i'm sure this will be marketed as another triumph for artificial intelligence, the software has the ability to learn. a gear lever in the usual place allows the rider to over-ride a gear change where he or she feels the auto system has not made a favourable choice. over time, the software learns the specific riding style and incorporates it into future gear change choices.

as one report stated, "It's actually quite easy to make the case that Q'AUTO is the single most important Shimano launch since the original 9spd Di2 arrived in 2009."

i cannot be the only self-styled expert who is still asked by the average civilian, in which gear they ought to be at any given time. and despite having refined my answer over time, it still seems to defy easy comprehension. part of the problem might be the existing terminology, where the number of available gears is still referred to as speeds, when, by and large that's not quite the case; shift into a small (11th, 12th or 13th sprocket) while slogging into a headwind or ascending a particularly onerous gradient, and you will rapidly learn that speed has nothing to do with it.

for those who have no knowledge of, or desire to ride campagnolo's thirteen gears, mutiplied by two front chainrings, being able to climb aboard a road bike, mountain bike or gravel bike and just pedal, seems almost too good to be true. when you consider that 70% of car sales in the uk are now specified with automatic gearboxes, it doesn't seem particulary unreasonable that many of those who might prefer to commute by bicycle would expect similar benefits. and where we have become used to the trickle-down effect of developments in cycle racing to eventually pervade the masses, it does seem entirely possible that shimano might have invented a potential trickle-up paradigm. check tadej's colnago at le tour this year.

sunday 8 june 2025

missed

what did you do on tuesday last week? tuesday 3 june. were you, like most of us, sat in front of a computer carrying out the work that provides you with your wages or salary? or perhaps your daily grind has a more labour intensive vibe, where you get your hands dirty undertaking physical work, unlike us softies spinning in our ergonomically designed computer chairs? and if, perchance you commuted to work by bicycle, were you ever mindful of the part the bicycle has played in the nation's history of transportational needs, and cognisant of the part it plays, or could play, in a less polluting contemporary society?

there's a slim chance that all, or portions of the above did actually take place; only you will know. but i'm willing to bet (hypothetically), that very few, if any, undertook to join an inner-city or urban bike ride, demonstrating to the great unwashed, just how cool, healthy and practical riding a bicycle can be. as one domiciled in the rural idyll, i was not beset by a veritable peloton of bicycles obstructing my crossing of shore street to buy my daily newspaper, the columns of which were effectively bereft of any mention or celebration of the bicycle. that had tentatively happened on the previous day, when the guardian opted to hand over veritable acres of newsprint extolling the exploits of britain's simon yates, winner of the 2025 giro d'italia.

for those of you quizzically wondering what on earth i might be on about, you might well ask. for, unbeknown to most of us (i'm guessing) is the fact that tuesday 3 june was designated as world bicycle day. designated by whom, you might ask? and it's not an entirely ridiculous question, for while the uci has jurisdiction over cycling's sporting activities, it appears that the united nations, a body that seems incapable of coming to any rational decision over the actions of many a warmongering country, has the right to confer the date of a world bicycle day, one that precedes britain's similarly badly publicised national bike week held later this month.

the normally rather astute wild ones cycling podcast on youtube, posted two new videos this past week, neither of which even hinted at the existence of world bicycle day, and as mentioned above, the normally bike-friendly guardian newspaper featured no mention whatsoever, at least not in the print edition. a quick search on google listed several pertinent results, but none were from uk-based or (as far as i could see) usa-based publications. acccording to the united nations, the impetus behind this worldwide date is to recognise the versatility and uniqueness of the bicycle, though purely based on anecdotal evidence, there wasn't much recognising taking place. it also transpires that the theme for this year's event was rather loosely phrased as cycling for a sustainable future, a somewhat woolly concept unlikely to raise the profile of the velocipede and its adherents across the globe.

let's face it, if we, as members of the cognoscenti were blissfully unaware of tuesday's importance in the known universe, what hope have we of impressing this upon the non-believers, naysayers and motorists? the lgbtq+ community seems particularly adept and successful at organising pride marches and events, along with a designated pride month of which most of us will have heard and/or witnessed. the lack of anything at all to celebrate world bicycle day would tend to suggest we're either totally crap at organising socially relatable events, or, more realistically, we don't actually care.

my money is on the latter and with good reason.

you and i ride our bicycles either because it suits our transportational purposes, our sporting aspirations, or, like yours truly, you just like riding a bicycle. if others want to join in, the majority of us are friendly, welcoming folks who, mostly, don't care how expensive or state-of-the-art are the bikes of the apprentice. not all of us are demanding of special attention by council or government, though few would say no if it was offered. as with any large group of individuals, there will always be those who think they have more rights than other road users, or that others are denying the rights they thought they already had. but most of us are content to ride a bicycle, happy to be an example to those who might be swithering, but rarely stretching to unrequested badgering or proselytising. many, however, will be quite happy to be defined as cyclists, even if they walk or drive just as often.

national bike weeks, cycle to work days, or world bicycle day seem to me to exist principally to satisfy the consciences of those who know they ought to be doing more, happy to throw a few crumbs in our direction, while they continue to dine on an expense account. if you like bicycles, then ride one; if you don't, there are other forms of transport. but don't come crying to us when climate change exceeds a two degree increase and the oil runs out.

saturday 7 june 2025

structural failure

in 1979, my place of employment was a mere three miles from home, a distance that i had previously walked each morning, but now drove. in those technologically challenged days, motor cars had a choke, entirely necessary (in my case, at least) to start the vehicle each morning, but a device that remained in place for the entire journey, due to the proximity of my destination. though petrol was a lot cheaper in those days than it is now, i was still keenly aware that i was burning through money that i didn't really have, so mrs washingmachinepost bought me a viscount ten-speed racer from which point on, i rode to work, unless inclement weather dictated otherwise.

having learned to ride a bike at the advanced age of nine, i had used this mode of travel to get to school and complete my daily paper run until i was 17 and headed off to college. between then and the arrival of the plain gauge steel viscount, were the only years during which i was bereft of a bicycle.

prior to our move to the hebrides, i sold my car; aside from the need for money, islay seemed small enough to traverse by cycle, and the lack of vehicle expenses would be an added bonus. my daughter was three years old at that point and just learning, with the aid of her father's enforced backache (why aren't kids' bikes taller?) to ride a bicycle of her own. though she was more than competent on two wheels, for reasons neither she nor i can recall, the cycling gene was not one destined to persist through the generations.

on the basis of our family being one of the few without a motor car, i returned the favour and bought mrs twmp a bicycle of her very own, apparently, at the time, with her full co-operation. however, aside from one or two explorations of the cruach road, it spent more time in the porch than it did on the road. criticism is rarely a trait employed in the pursuit of encouragement, and, to be honest, i could see her reasoning for not favouring life in the saddle, one that, today, is cited by many an apprentice cyclist, both male and female.

according to my better half, cycling on single-track roads was unlikely to become her forte, populated as they frequently were by vehicles with scant regard for the sensibilities of any velocipedinists met along the way. (it should be noted that this state of affairs is every bit as a apparent on the island's dual-lane roads) i confess that such matters are of little concern to yours truly; i am aware of the lack of respect shown by many car drivers for those on two wheels, but such is the determination to ride my bicycle, that i'm willing to accept the inevitable. so doing has seemingly provided a radically different point of view than that voiced by mrs washingmachinepost, as well as providing the wherewithal to live with what she could only see as an irrepressible iniquity, one which persists to the present day.

my son, seven years younger than his sister, was an even better cyclist, but largely gave it up through disinterest and a disinclination to wear a helmet when at secondary school. like many, the onset of his teenage years brought a disdain for cycling, congenitally viewed as decidedly uncool. that particular point of view continued; as soon as he passed his driving test, the bicycle remained persona-non-grata, though there was a momentary dalliance with the mountain bike in his mid-twenties, but one that gave all the signs of being very half-hearted.

however, as he neared the point of entering wedlock, a sudden pre-occupation with gaining fitness brought him to the bicycle once again, aided and abetted by my presenting him with two of my own bicycles, if only because i thought he'd lose interest within a matter of two or three months. very much to my surprise (and probably his too), the desire to cycle continued, to the extent that he joined the regular sunday morning bike ride for a couple of years or more, until, that is, the arrival of his first child, when parental and marital responsibilities dictated that he desist from riding every sunday (i should point out that there are signs this may change in the near future, particularly now that my grand-daughter has passed her fifth birthday and will start school after the summer holidays.)

so where, precisely, did i go wrong? are my frequent rants about the british population's apparent ignorance of the benefits of cycling, both transportational and health, undermined because my own family has opted not to join the happy throng? does this, in fact, mark me out as a hypocrite, casting aspersions on the general populace while ignoring that which exists in my own backyard? quite possibly. mrs twmp works in the local primary school, the building of which can be easily seen from the sitting room window; as do i, she walks to and from work each day. a bicycle would be superfluous. my son is an electrician who works insanely long hours and across wide, often isolated territory that definitively could not be covered by bicycle. not even a e-cargo bike.

and my daughter is a teacher in glasgow, at a school quite some distance from her home. with two boys to ready and get to school each morning, she would have to arise ludicrously early were she have chosen to cycle to and from work. out of blind faith in the virtues of the bicycle, i have chastised her on her motorised mode of transport, but in reality, i think i'm wrong and she's right. my grandsons' disparate choice of weekend activities (football and tai kwan do) rather preclude any practicalities of cycling, though no doubt an active enthusiasm would find ways around any perceived hurdles.

or maybe not.

there will be many who fit into the above categories, the majority of whom will find themselves bereft of the need to cycle at every opportunity. i am very fortunate that my own lifestyle has made it simple to live by bicycle and eschew motorised personal transport altogether; not everyone has that luck. but many, many of those, such as my immediate family, have been failed by the way society has enabled the motor car at every twist and turn, very much to the detriment of the bicycle. a lack of flexibility, a pressing need to be several places at once, a fear of ever-increasing motor traffic and an almost casual disregard for sharing the road by its drivers has undoubtedly brought us to where we are now.

if your daily or weekly lives allow for any meaningful distance on a bicycle, you are truly amongst the luckiest on the planet.

friday 6 june 2025

nothing to see here

on my way home from work yesterday, i passed the playpark associated with the nearby housing, but one that is open for public use, whether resident or visitor. present were several mums and dads loosely supervising a horde of primary school age kids having a fabulous time attempting to outdo each others' antics on ther swings, roundabouts and climbing frame. quite why children of that age find such delight in colourful physical activity is well beyond the scope of a cycling blog, but rather than attempt to define why, perhaps we ought better to be asking why that is unlikely to continue, in one form or another, throughout the rest of their lives?

that's not to say that, for some people at least, it doesn't.

wednesday afternoons have become my weekly percussive time once again, as pupils in the secondary school adopt the timetables that will apply when they enter their new classes next term. i was quite surprised that one of the students i taught last year for higher drumming had opted to step up to advanced higher, if only because he has shown considerable enthusiasm for physical education classes and had suggested he might drop music in favour of running around a lot. however, it appears that he has chosen to try and do both.

as i was midway through a lesson with a higher pupil, he entered the studio to proclaim that he had beaten the record for running from the school, round the circumference of the football pitch and back to the school. according to him, his time was seven seconds faster than the previously held record, but wasn't being counted because the teacher in charge had not been officially timing. the vociferous indication was that he was soon to make the attempt once again, but with someone operating a stopwatch.

it is three months since i suffered my little health infraction, during which time i have gradually increased my cycling distance to the point where i can comfortably ride to and from debbie's in bruichladdich. speed is of little concern to me at present, and i am inclined to satisfy myself with this 30km round trip twice or three times a week for the time being. i have plans to increase this and encompass the first loop of the sunday ride by month's end, but for now, personally, i feel it more prudent to settle for what i've got.

the oddity of this situation is tied to that particular distance. for while some of my friends and colleagues still think i'm overdoing it, and others marvel that i can cover a distance for which, only four months ago, i'd scarcely have removed the bicycle from the bike shed. it is what it is. but then there's another coterie of well-wishers, those who exclaim that riding the selfsame distance would be likely to engender a heart-attack should they summon the courage to attempt it.

and therein lies what i perceive as a problem; that more folks than you'd like to think, consider themselves less fit than a heart-attack victim. perhaps when a lot younger, those very people would have to be dragged kicking and screaming away from their nearest playpark, who might well have pushed themselves hard to equal or conquer the school cross-country running record. yet here they are in early, middle or later life not only claiming to be insufficiently fit to ride a bicycle a relatively short distance, but generally unwilling to make the attempt, either due to fear of failure, or knowledge that before the end of the day, they'd be eating hospital food.

where did it all go so horribly wrong?

i have been unfortunate to be hospitalised on two singular occasions; a road traffic accident, and my most recent health scare. on both occasions the doctors have said that my recovery has been immeasurably helped by the fact that i'm generally pretty fit. with only a year or so to go before i add another decade to my age, i find myself immensely grateful that such is the case. there are probably very few of us who ride our bicycles purely in order to keep fit; for many, self included, that's simply an added bonus. but whether it extends your life expectancy or not, you can be sure that the fitness gained from regular cycling will allow you to enjoy more fully, your later years. the poster boy for that particular contention is surely the mighty dave-t who, now nearing his mid-eighties, can still be found riding islay's highways and byways with unfailing regularity. because he's fit enough to do so.

not everyone is going to like cycling; at first, it can be particularly uncomfortable, no matter how plush the saddle atop the seatpost, but if you really don't like cycling there are many other means of staying fit. the difference is, cycling can be built-in to daily life, replacing the car, bus or train and serving as practical means of getting to and from the office, school, the shops...

...or the playpark.

thursday 5 june 2025

lucky thirteen

there was a time when the rear wheels of road bikes (and, if i'm honest, every other bike) featured threaded portions on the drive side onto which freewheels could be fitted. five sprockets on a freewheel provided all with the archetypal ten-speed racer when multiplied by two chainrings up front. various manufacturers provided these freewheels, none of which featured proprietary tooth profiles, and all of which were compatible with the threaded portion on the drive-side of the rear wheel. the only surfacing of incompatibility was the means of removing the freewheel when time came to replace it or service the hub.

these propulsion devices featured what seemed to be hundreds of tiny ball-bearings 'neath the smallest sprocket, and even more under the largest sprocket. the sprockets were retained upon the freewheel body and rotated on those bearings. an outer-facing, left-hand threaded lockring, when removed, allowed the sprockets to be easily detached from the body, generally accompanied by all those tiny bearings scattering themselves across the bike shed floor. believe me, you didn't want to be the hapless idiot responsible not only for setting them free, but having to painstakingly replace them to have the bike work once again.

the fundamental flaw, ultimately solved by shimano's invention of the freehub, was the result of a perennial desire to incrementally add more sprockets, providing twelve, fourteen and sixteen-speed bicycles. aside from increasing the dish on the rear wheel (creating space into which the multiple sprockets had to fit), the hub bearings sat in the outer recesses of the hubshell. on the non-drive side, those were directly under the spokes, as, indeed were those on the drive-side. but that left an increasingly longer section of unsupported rear axle, a rod or tube that would frequently fracture at the edge of the cone on which the bearings rolled. if memory serves correctly, it was only the subsequent appearance of the freehub that allowed cyclists to move beyond eight sprockets, since the former now featured an extra set of bearings at the outer-edge, offering succour to that long-suffering rear axle, which was now supported outside and in.

splined freehubs became home to hollow axles designed for quick release skewers; tubes are stronger than rods, but the additional support provided by three sets of bearings more or less ended the era of broken or bent axles, meaning the addition of even more sprockets and increased wheel dishing offered very few disadvantages. however, compatibility became a far greater problem than was the case when we all rode on freewheels. shimano's original invention allowed easy replacement or substitution of sprockets. professional team mechanics' trucks were seen to be replete with large numbers of loose sprockets. arrival in the alps for a mountain stage meant fitting larger inner sprockets; permabulate a flat sprint stage, and smaller teeth would suffice.

but then shimano ruined it all by inventing hyperglide; ramps cut into the sprockets to aid shifting quality, ramps that, it transpired, had to be helically aligned to optimise efficiency. this meant that cassette ratios had to be created at birth; the three largest sprockets were oiften rivetted together, but replacing a sixteen sprocket with an eighteen would completely undermine the physics behind hyperglide. and to add insult to injury, shimano's spline pattern was distinctly different to that purposed by campagnolo, meaning any thoughts of interchangeability were strangled at birth.

none of the above has, however, stalled thoughts of continuing to increase the number of sprockets, though the move by shimano and sram to shift from eleven to twelve necessitated a longer freehub body (the perfect excuse to buy a new pair of wheels), as did campagnolo's shift to thirteen. their freehub had always possessed a few millimetres extra. however, i'm not sure that any of us harboured expectations that vicenza's thirteen cassette, new freehub and new wheels were likely to remain the sole preserve of the gravel fraternity, despite the latter's inordinate popularity. it turns out that we were correct in our expectations, as today campagnolo has released a thirteen-speed version of its wireless super-record groupset. and, as previously featured on thewashingmachinepost, the thumbshifter has made a thoroughly welcome re-appearance on the inner faces of the brake levers.

whatever possessed their removal in the first place really ought to have been the subject of a stewards' enquiry.

and, if i have comprehended the press release correctly, the new thirteen-speed groupset is actually cheaper than its twelve-speed predecessor. meaning that the only remaining question is who actually needs a thirteen-vitesse cassette?

wednesday 4 june 2025

surprise, surprise

i have, on more than a single occasion, decried the british press for their somewhat biased representation of what they encapsulate in their so-called sports sections. it is true that the majority of those newspaper sub-sections do indeed include sports reporting, analysis and punditry, but they are far from being all encompassing. i am a daily reader of the guardian newspaper and have been for many decades; in terms of their coverage of velocipedinal sport, they are far from the worst, but almost as far from being crowned the best. unequivocally, soccer garners the largest measure of column inches, followed closely by golf, cricket, tennis and several others which may, in fact, be closer to the popularity of cycling than their exposure would suggest.

in a far from fair world, it is largely unsurprising that some sports are regarded as more popular than others, though in many cases, inexplicably so. we will all harbour our own levels of disparagement, but there's little doubt that the spring classics, objects of great desire amongst the cognoscenti, are lucky if they merit a couple of paragraphs. the argument has been posited several times that highly popular sports, such as soccer, remain in their unassailable position predominantly because the media continues to venerate them and provide blanket coverage. the possibility that cycling may equal that popularity if it received similar reporting is a contention that resurfaces quite frequently.

step up a level to the three grand tours and there's already a hierarchy in place; le tour is clearly considered to be head and shoulders above the other two, with the giro in second place and la vuelta languishing, arguably undeservedly so, in third. in the fair world i have already pointed out does not exist, all three would share equal billing. though itv will relinquish the tv rights to le tour after this year's circus show, it has never broadcast even a few minutes of the giro and its record in spain is hardly much better. in a normal year, this is replicated in the pages of the print media. granted the so-called red tops are interested in little other than football and horse racing, but the quality press will provide at least a daily update on le tour and gratuitous coverage of the other two.

you will, i hope, have acknowledged the above phrase 'in a normal year'; following the largely unexpected victory of visma lease-a-bike rider, simon yates, in rome on sunday, he featured not only on the front page of monday's guardian, but the entire back page, augmented by all of pages 42 and 43. largely unprecedented (as far as i can recall) for what the mainstream media usually consider to be a second-string event. thus, until the commencement of those three-weeks in july, i rescind my criticism of at least the guardian newspaper.

though only repeating the analysis of jeremy whittle, will fotheringham and pippa york, you do have to wonder how a top level world tour team that expects slovenian, tadej pogacar, to romp home with several credit lyonnais stuffed lyons and an entire wardrobe of yellow jerseys by the end of july, could make what even the least strategically aware amongst us (me, me, me) regard as a seriously flawed, penultimate stage error. it is not unusual for one of the principal protagonist teams to send lesser riders up the road in the breakaway, ostensibly to be of help to their best placed rider should he find himself in a favourable position towards the end of the stage.

on saturday, that lesser rider was wout van aert. need i say more?

it would be nice to consider this elevated media coverage as cycle sport having turned a corner, but that would be the very definition of misguided. as evidence, i might point out that britain's foremost national broadcaster, the bbc, did not feature yates' victory particularly highly on its website on monday. (though you may be encouraged to hear that they corroborated the authors cited above, to wit: "Putting generational talent Wout van Aert up the road to help Yates bury his rivals on the final climb on Saturday was masterful." but you'll be pleased to learn - if not surprised - that max verstappen gained top billing once again.

tuesday 3 june 2025