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very super

as you will be tired of hearing by now, i am currently enjoying my saturday and sunday instalments of live cyclocross, courtesy of the financial scourge of cycling fans everywhere, tnt sports. despite my misgivings over their successful attempt at daylight robbery, the coverage they provide is more than welcome, in the company of marty mcdonald, helen wyman and ian field. particularly this weekend when they collectively brought coverage of the european championships from middlekerke in belgium, home of a series of dastardly sand dunes.

however, while i am in no position to criticise any of the above commentary team with regard to their undoubtedly superior knowledge of the finest sport in the world, i find myself increasingly irritated by their misuse of the word 'super', when the word 'very', would, from an english language perspective, be the more judicious choice. originally an americanism, riders are described as super strong, super competitive and super fit. read that list back, but substitute the word very for super, and you may see what i mean. of course, if you're a member of generation z, i'm sure you will regard me as overly pedantic, but when i hear someone quoted as saying they are super close to their coach and team-mates, the irritation is complete.

now that i have dispensed with that particular misgiving, allow me to introduce you to the current topic of conversation in debbie's of a saturday lunchtime (though for all i know, it may be a topic of discussion elsewhere on the island).

i have mentioned on oh, so many occasions, uiskentuie strand, a stretch of grassy dunes at the top of loch indaal, a geographical location that curves as it leads the intrepid rider towards bruichladdich village and debbie's cafe. it's importance to the velocipedinal community is hard to underestimate; on saturdays, i ride my cyclocross bicycle along half of its length, en-route to lunch, fooling myself that so doing has a beneficial effect on my bike handling skills. however, in the teeth of a south-westerly gale, the strand provides no shelter whatsoever; riding the grass can prevent being blown into the path of motor traffic, or if strong enough, getting blown off my bike (it's happened once) means a relatively soft landing.

myself and colleagues have manfully struggled north along the strand while being blown sideways and at the risk of having both wheels sucked away from the road surface. you don't get that on zwift. however, uiskentuie strand holds a level of importance to both residents and visitors alike, though not always gaining wholesale approval from all concerned.

during the summer months, it is frequently possible to witness several motorhomes parked at frequent points along its length, on occasion, more than in the official campsite outside port charlotte village. the ground belongs to islay estates, who used to graze sheep along its length, but a couple of years past, that practice ended for reasons of which i am unaware. this meant that, on the first half of the strand, the grass has now grown so thick, that i have been physically unable to ride the full length at any point during this year. the second stretch of grassy dunes, however, are well used by dog walkers, those out for a sunday afternoon walk and, after christmas, several kids who have been indulged by their parents presenting them with miniature trail motorbikes.

this constant usage, has resulted in clearly defined paths, where the grass has been compressed and shortened by cars being persistently driven over, when in truth, there was no real need to do so. in the summer of 2024, i witnessed a group of visitors in one of those enormous modern minis, turn onto the grass opposite uiskentuie farmhouse, and drive the full length of the strand along the grass, until rejoining the road at foreland road end. there was, demonstrably, no need for it.

now whether that particular practice, or the parking of motorhomes and caravans for over a week at a time has incensed the estate management or not, i really don't know, but for one reason or another, the estate has begun installing fence posts the full length of the strand, which, when finished has given rise to fears that public use might be sorely restricted, including that of yours truly aboard a fluorescent green and orange cyclocross bicycle. of course, scotland has no law of trespass, so it's unlikely that the estate, landowners or not, have any legal right to prevent public use of the area. however, the strand is only accessible either by car or by bicycle, being at least three kilometres from bruichladdich, and seven from bridgend. therefore, all those who regularly walk along at least part of its length, arrive by motor car; and motor cars have to be parked somewhere.

at present, there are suitable portions of ground at both ends of the strand, and a minimum of space midway along its length. however, irritatingly enough, but remarkably common for the average motorist, many drivers simply park wherever they like. currently, the spacing and size of some of the fence posts would indicate there are to be gates inserted at several points along the length of the strand, but at present, there's no telling whether those gates will be left open, or perhaps padlocked. this could conceivably mean that, though allowing pedestrian access, there may be nowhere practical to leave their cars. you can imagine how that possibility has gone down.

one current theory relating to possible reasons for erecting such a long and undoubtedly expensive fence, revolves around the estate planning to graze sheep or cattle in the near future, the fence preventing the animals from wandering across what can be a busy road in the summer months. but until the structure is complete, or the estate opts to show and tell, islay estates is in danger of being villified in the same manner as lord voldemort.

selfishly, all i'm worried about is how awkward it might be to get a 'cross bike over one of those gates.

sunday 9 november 2025

there must be some misunderstanding

today's heading could (deliberately), be the subject of some inherent misunderstanding itself, given its familiarity to many as a track on the 1980 album duke, by genesis. for while i, and probably my reader too, will now have that particular song stuck in their heads for the rest of today, in fact, the song itself only occurred after i'd typed it above. subliminal or what? yet, the second line of the song's chorus ('there must be some kind of mistake'), continues the very theme that brought about the heading in the first place.

many years ago, and i doubt i am alone in this situation, a work colleague of mine purchased a bicycle shaped object, theoretically configured as a lady's mountain bike. having not ridden a bicycle for several decades, even the technology adopted for this particular model was a complete mystery to her, bringing about the two-part question we probably all dread: "how do i change gear?" and "how do i know which gear to be in?" though not specifically related to the situation under discussion, i always found it mildly humorous that potential cyclists were often in thrall to the large number of gears (compared to a sturmey archer) that arrived as part of a so-called mountain bike package, yet had precious little idea of why they needed eighteen and above in the first place.

in answer to the second part of the above question, i had managed to distill the answer to advising that when the going was hard, such as climbing a steep hill, they wanted the chain to be as close to the frame as possible (small ring up front, largest sprocket at the back). in more favourable conditions, such as descending or benefitting from a sturdy tailwind, the chain ought best be positioned as far from the frame as deemed necessary (big ring, smaller sprocket). though i have not conducted any in-depth research into the matter, it does seem that the motor car has too much influence on matters pertaining to gear choices; my advice usually elicited a response enquiring what number of gear was most appropriate, as in first gear, sixth gear, ninth gear; i think you get the gist. but given the option of three rings up front and at least six sprockets at the back, such an answer as requested, was scarcely within my powers to provide.

of course, not everyone approaches these matters in a similar manner. members of the younger generation seem less quizzical about gear choices, happy to learn as they cycle, expressing little in the way of concern as to the consequences of choosing badly. the few members of the latter generation with whom i have been in contact, seemed more concerned about whether they ought to adopt clipless pedals, or the wholesale embarrassment of wearing bibshorts with a pad.

perhaps they recall the nappy years better than us old farts.

but it's hard to deny that cycling, as an activity, hardly seems contrived to educate. a neighbour, who purchased a pre-owned road bike from a private local seller, phoned in a mild panic, concerned that he'd bought a dud, bereft as it seemed, of any means of changing gear at all. when i helpfully pointed out that gearchanging had long been effected by pushing the brake levers inward, his face turned an awkward shade of red. so caught up are we and the industry that provides, that making velocipedinal things a tad more intuitive seems not to have occurred. i'd be keen to see what a bike designed by apple computer, might look like.

yet, were i to advise that the apprentice roadie/cyclist appraise themselves by perusing the pages or website of the comic (or any other cyling publication, for that matter), there's a better than even's chance that it might make things worse.

if you will accept my sweeping generalisation that cycle shops are keenest to sell gravel bikes nowadays, therein lies the road to confusion. in a recent visit to said website i was greeted by a subtitled graphic that indicated a bicycle manufacturer of note had produced its fastest, most aerodynamic gravel bike yet. perhaps it's just me, but does anyone else perceive a potential clash between the words 'aerodynamic' and 'gravel'? it's not so long ago since one other major manufacturer paid lip service to the baseline for aero being 40kph. few of us could achieve and maintain that velocity on a smooth road with a tailwind, never mind a loose, twisting, gravellous surface.

but, serving only to underline the potential confusion, further down the browser window, could be found another article, alluding to the possibility that bikepacking (what many reckon to be the true purpose of the eponymous gravel bike in the first place) offered the opportunity to "...strip life back to the bones." so, aside from confusing the heck out of everyone via complicated gear mechanisms, the apprentice cyclist might now find themselves in serious doubt as to the true purpose of the bicycle they've just been sold for the daily commute to the office.

get it together people.

saturday 8 november 2025

a point well and truly missed

following on from virgin rail's approval to compete with eurostar's current offering of rail journeys through the channel tunnel, comes the news that europe intends to invest heavily in a high-speed rail network that it expects to be operational across much of the continent by 2040. that heavy investment currently bears a price tag of 546 billion euros, or, as has become the denomination of conversation, more than half a trillion. just how much that figure is likely to have increased by the time this futuristic network is complete is anybody's guess, but we all know that it will.

according to press reports over the last day or two, this improved rail transport network will feature trains capable of reaching speeds of 250kph, effectively bringing europe's major cities closer together. travel between berlin and copenhagen could be reduced from seven hours to four, while sofia and athens would be only six hours apart, instead of today's fourteen. the eu is pinning its hopes that faster rail travel will compete with short haul flights, making rail travel a more attractive proposition.

until we both became old enough to be granted over-60s travel cards, mrs washingmachinepost showed a distinct preference for taking a loganair flight from islay to glasgow, enjoying the 30 minute flight far more than the combined five hours by ferry and bus to achieve the same. i, on the other hand, have largely eschewed flying in favour of calmac and citylink, because, in my little world, so doing underlines the fact that i live on an island, and the fact that i enjoy the pace of the ferry and the scenery from the larger windows of the bus. it may take the majority of a day to travel to scotland (leave at 8:30am, arrive at 4pm), but where's the hurry?

and that, is largely my point.

if i were travelling between sofia and athens, the prospect of it taking fourteen hours is one i find strangely attractive. not that i wish to become all manner of philosophical, but enjoying the journey as opposed to the arrival seems to be getting lost in modernity. why is it, i am forced to ask, that so many travellers are hell-bent on getting somewhere as quickly as possible? i do understand that, in the world of contemporary commerce, communication in all its many variants is gauged on how little time it takes, but i do genuinely feel that we're losing a great deal at the behest of increased speed.

and though the bicycle will never compete with the likes of a 250kph train, or the myriad of electric cars now infesting our roads and streets, it doesn't take a science degree in aerodynamics to observe that many road bike manufacturers have invested in wind-tunnel hours, to make their carbon fibre ever faster than the competition. in my humble opinion, it's a folly that won't end well. why (just to add another to a monologue full of questions), can we not simply celebrate the slowness of the bicycle? if everything becomes constantly faster and faster, where are we all going to head when life becomes just a little too much?

let's face it, the sunday ride would be a great deal shorter if one of us collected the others in a car, and drove the parcours, en-route to a toastie and coffee at debbie's; but that would be to miss the point entirely.

i enjoy riding as fast as can (which, admittedly, doesn't amount to much), every now and again, as much as the next tour de france winner, but where's the harm in keeping the average speed hovering close to 20kph, enjoying a totally pointless, yet often humorous conversation, but with time to observe the seasons, the potholes in the road, and opt to pause in the nearest passing place to allow whisky tourists arrive on time for the next tour.

with no railway observable on any of my horizons, the occasional opportunity to sit in a railway carriage and watch a different world go by, is one i'd welcome with open arms, but life would become way too much of a blur at 250kph. as simon and garfunkel sang in the '59th street bridge song' "slow down, you move too fast, you got to make the morning last". it's worth noting, from a velocipedinal point of view, the next line in that verse mentions cobblestones.

pave!

friday 7 november 2025

it all takes time

as my reader knows to the point of boredom, the singular mission behind thewashingmachinepost, was a vain attempt to encourage the good citizens of islay to ride bicycles instead of continually using their cars for such short journeys. naive as i was to the habits of the hebrideans, i was sure that my pointing out how much more economical was the bicycle, that the local haulier would be occupied for several months, delivering bicycles to the eagerly converted. however, after a year of imposing upon the editor of islay's local newspaper to publish my velocipedinal ramblings on a regular basis, the transportational habits of the community were manifestly, no different.

however, on the point of discontinuing my textual ministrations, i learned that many were happy to read on each occasion, purely for the entertainment value; i confess i was unaware of possessing such a skill. so i continued with my contributions, on the basis that at least they were keeping some folks happy.

by the mid-nineties, there had assembled a rather ad hoc group of cyclists (and i use that word in its loosest sense) who soon acquired the habit of meeting up around lunchtime on sundays to head out into the hebridean hinterlands for a pootle on our bicycles. at the time, no-one expressed, or demonstrated any great desire to be the first to return to our point of origin. though one or two of us were to be seen aboard bona-fide road bikes, speed was very definitely not of the essence.

however, it is the nature of island life (and i imagine those domiciled on others off the west coast of scotland will back me up on this), that people come and people go. obviously, there are those, such as yours truly, who opt to remain, inured to the vicissitudes of a more remote existence, and effectivley, enjoying every minute. it's a migration that seems to go in cycles; a coterie of like-minded individuals seems to form at sporadic intervals, before slowly disassembling, leaving the long-term individuals behind.

however, the above process appears not to be one that afflicts all activities with similar effect.

since long before mrs washingmachinepost and i arrived on the outer edge, there had been junior football; coaching on saturdays and midweek, often matches on sunday. that state of affairs continues till this day. similarly, the junior swimming group which formed shortly after the local leisure centre opened over 25 years ago, the badminton group which meets every thursday evening in the high school gym, islay rugby club (though admittedly they seem to have been struggling for playing members of late), and the golf club based at the machrie, near port ellen. for all the disparaging remarks i have made in its direction, the golf club seems to have no difficulty in attracting junior and senior members, while holding frequent tournaments throughout the year.

and almost unseen, a local running club has appeared out of nowhere, already outfitted with team running vests and regular training meets.

i had often consoled myself with the knowledge that golf, in particular, was hardly the most strenuous of activities, and certainly a tad less so than cycling in rain and wind. but soccer, rugby, running and potentially, swimming, can be every bit as physically taxing as cycling, somewhat undermining the only argument i have.

granted, there have been other non-success stories: shinty came and went quite quickly, tennis is non-existent, the pitch and putt course is rarely overutilised, and anecdotal evidence would suggest that the two bowling greens suffer from a lack of participants. even table tennis may have died a death.

but, as far as i'm aware, none of the above have been the subject of regular or encouraging recruitment drives, as, indeed, could be an argument levelled at the velo club. i have long repeated my initial naivety by contending that were we to continue riding our bicycles here, there and everywhere, in all manner of weather conditions, our tenacity would rub off on the population at large, immediately adding to the size peloton we hoped to become.

yet despite years and years of cycling proficiency at the island's schools, a relatively traffic-light road network, and our high profile enthusiasm, the sunday peloton has, if anything, diminished of late, having lost two participants to the running club, and one to the mainland, and though i had never believed we would become a sizeable, moving traffic hindrance, it would be nice if our collective efforts showed reasonable grounds for optimism.

maybe we're just perceived as too fit, healthy and fast?

illustration copyright dave walker

thursday 6 november 2025

the boot's on the other foot

three of my drumming heroes, buddy rich, louie bellson and gene krupa, played zildjian cymbals, predominantly because the 'a series' cymbals were made in the usa, and there were precious few alternatives available in the 1940s when the former two got into their stride, and mr krupa reigned as king. i can only presume that all were more than satisfied with their choice of cymbals, for though bellson used them throughout his lengthy career, he changed drum brands more frequently even than buddy rich. gene krupa remained faithful to slingerland and zildjian from start to finish.

my own history with cymbals is considerably less notable; as a beginner, i played the cheapest metals i could find, but when matters improved, i followed the lead of early favourite, bill bruford, amassing a minimal selection of swiss-made paiste cymbals. these i played right up until the moment of departing scotland for the hebrides, when i divested myself of all my percussive accoutrements to allow full concentration on my proposed new career as an artist who drew and painted landscapes. initially that worked, but i now subscribe to the 'once a drummer, always a drummer' philosophy, and it wasn't too many years before i acquired another drumset, decorated with one of zildjian's cheaper ranges.

sadly, but perhaps propitiously, i did not particularly care for the zildjians, and on joining a blues band in the mind-nineties, i followed my velocipedinal path, and bought a small set of italian-made ufip cymbals.

those of you who have seen the 1985 movie, american flyers starring kevin costner, will perhaps recall that italiana featured heavily in the movie, inspired by the fact that american road cyclists were apparently every bit as in thrall to campagnolo componentry as were those of us in the uk. granted, in the latter decades of last century, road cycle componentry was scarcely noted for a populous number of suppliers. it was 1999 before lord voldemort won the first of seven tours de france riding shimano componentry; prior to that, the tour was vicenza's to do with as it wished.

i purchased a colnago superissimo in the 1990s because it was italian, and kitted it out with campagnolo chorus componentry, because it was italian, and shod the wheels with vittoria tyres, because they were italian (i think you can see where i'm going with this). so, when time came to add a quality set of cymbals to my somewhat ramshackle drumset, i chose ufip, because they were italian (unione fabbricanti italiani piatti), based in pistoia, a few kilometres north-west of florence.

i have remained faithful to drum workshop drums since 2002, owning two drumsets and four snare drums with their trademark 'turret' lugs. i also own a modern-day slingerland radio king snare, but the company is owned by drum workshop, so i'm still on safe ground.

thewashingmachinepost bikeshed contains two colnagos: a steel master, with a carbon b-stay rear triangle and an original c40 from the late 1990s. both feature campagnolo componentry, including wheels on the master. however, there's no denying that my two most regularly ridden bicycles, are a steel ritchey logic, outfitted with mechanical twelve-speed record, and a wheelset combining mavic open pro rims, with campagnolo record hubs. its partner in crime is a specialized crux comp which rides on 1x sram rival mechanical. my son currently possesses my ibis hakkalugi 'cross bike, which features a campagnolo potenza groupset, with fas carbon cantilever brakes.

old skool.

so is italy still an object of desire? are there apprentice roadies whose sole earthly desire is to acquire one of vicenza's latest thirteen speed wireless super-record variations? though i fear i may be too far distant from the hub of britain or america's velocipedinal universe to be fully acquainted with the componentry pecadilloes of the current generation, though a cursory glance at available road bicycle offerings would tend to suggest not. those of us with a long history of cycling experience may think ourselves suitably qualified to choose our own componentry, but the days of purchasing frame and components as separate items are all but gone. evidence points to the majority finding themselves more than satisfied with whatever is festooned about the bicycle bought from the interwebs or a local bike shop. many are entirely ignorant of the brand or level of components on their carbon fibre.

when the latter wears out, its replacement is likely to be chosen on colour and/or the name on the downtube. this is, of course, a sweeping generalisation, but since the world tour riders found aboard colnago and pinarello bikes both use shimano dura-ace, no longer is there a persuasive italian incentive to be found. in fact, neither the pinarello dogmas nor colnago y1rs bicycles are made or ultimately owned in italy anymore, so perhaps italiana is no longer a thing?

if true, that's sad. i wonder what kevin costner would say?

wednesday 5 november 2025

unbridled joy

as i write, heavy rain is battering off the sitting room windows, and the amount of surface water and blocked drains seen during my daily morning walk, points directly to a bout of inclement weather that seems unlikely to end anytime soon. last thursday, the hallowe'en dance due to be held in the nearby secondary school, was cancelled due to the forecast of winds reaching 100kph. the afternoon and evening ferries had been cancelled, in advance of the same happening on friday morning.

i have intimated previously that, on alternate fridays, i was once in the habit of riding to debbie's with sales copies of the local newspaper, frequently accompanied by other members of the sunday morning peloton. that practice has been undermined lately either by drastically inclement weather, or, on one occasion, my return from a visit to scotland. last friday, i had thought i would, once again, have to resign myself to allowing the office receptionist to drop off the sales copies on her drive home to portnahaven. i had not, at the time, reckoned on my desire to ride my bicycle, even over such a relatively short distance in the rain and wind.

i therefore retrieved the packed copies of the newspaper, and despite rain and the threat of more, opted to set off for bruichladdich with filled musette over the left shoulder. as it transpired, the weather brightened up, though i had the perspicacity to wear rainshoe coverings due to the aforementioned surface water, still glaringly obvious despite bright skies above.

following the friday afternoon delivery, stupid o'clock on alternate saturday mornings is also a regular occurrence, a task that has to be undertaken, no matter the torrential rain drowning the village in the great outdoors. i have to admit that the scene brightened sufficiently to encourage a trip to debbie's for saturday lunch, preceded by a heavy hailstorm just as i donned my helmet. however, the sounds of schoolkids continuing to play soccer on the nearby all-weather pitch, had me resolve to clamber aboard my bicycle; after the hail shower had passed, obviously.

the short journey to debbie's was punctuated by one or two more rainshowers in temperatures that had me wish i had worn something a tad more insulated. thankfully, the lengthy and heavy shower that afflicted the return journey, was offset by a scurrilous tailwind, meaning that, yes, i got wet, but since it was all behind me, i enjoyed my 30km nonetheless. it almost goes without saying that sunday was not materially different. however, the grin on my face that scarcely disappeared from friday noon until early afternoon sunday, will testify not only to my enjoyment of cycling as an activity, philosophy and means of fitness, but serves also to point out that i actually enjoy riding in the rain, the cold and the wind.

offsetting the cold simply requires that i pedal ever harder. rarely have i found myself in meteorological circumstances that embroil me in uncontrollable shivers. riding harder inevitably offsets the bulk of those shivers. and though i will readily admit that my view of cycling in the rain would probably be substantially different were it necessary to commute in such conditions, in truth, i am but riding round in circeles before heading home for a warm shower. and why would i possess quite so much waterproof apparel, if i was unwilling to cycle in the rain?

so despite my health wobble earlier this year, i am still inclined to go cycling in whatever weather conditions prevail outdoors. and the use of that last word was not only deliberate, but would be underlined if i had the technological wherewithal to do so in a web browser. yet it seems that the gatekeepers of our great sport and activity, those charged with keeping us intimately informed as to the whys and wherefores of the industry and velocipedinal sporting endeavour (the editorial staff at the comic) have abrogated their primary responsibilities, to say nothing of contravening velominati's rules #five and #nine.

a quick monday evening glance at the cycling weekly website, gleans the knowledge that the editorial team have embraced indoor training week, and find themselves content to list the music and/or podcasts that fill their ears while attempting to stave off the boredom brought on by pedalling on an indoor trainer. if damning evidence were required to illustrate my point, no less than the magazine's editor is quoted as saying "I have to listen to music when on the trainer."

i believe my point has been resoundingly well made.

tuesday 4 november 2025