..........................................................................................................................................................................................................
t-lab stelvio t-shirt
cyclists are, almost by definition, an odd bunch of characters. we may think that we appear svelte, sleek, fast, smooth and athletic as we ride past innocent, yet adoring bystanders, but the reality is often very different. and imagine how you'd feel if sat in a branch of costa coffee and a bunch of hot, sweaty and distinctly less than composed individuals wearing dye-sublimated polyester or sportwool and rather snug-fitting shorts decided to sit at the adjacent table, ordering a round of double-espressos and an entire carrot cake. coffee shops rarely feature full-length mirrors to help us see ourselves as others see us (as robert burns once famously said).
the venn diagram of cyclists consists solely of two circles intersecting to offer three roughly equitable areas. in one are those for whom it's all about the bike. these individuals would wear a bin bag and a pair of running shorts if it left enough cash for a full campagnolo, super-record eps groupset. those in the centre section tread the middle way, spending equal amounts on bicycle and sartorial elegance, rarely overdoing it in either direction. and latterly are those at the opposite end of the spectrum to the former group, those who'd ride a butcher's delivery bike as long as their apparel was sourced from the upper regions of the world's finest cycle clothing purveyors.
they are seriously considering building a large shed in the garden to house the ever-growing wardrobe.
the worrying part is that no matter which of the above three groups you think you inhabit, you can see perfectly just where the other two sections are coming from. it may not be for you, but you'd be unlikely to discriminate when riding in the peloton or supping froth at a table next to unfortunate civilians in costa coffee. like i said, an odd bunch of characters.
but, and i am in no way reticent to mention this, that is pretty much the acceptable face of the pelotonese; the least socially disruptive aspects of this peculiarly mobile section of society. as an illustration, my local branch of oddness spent the bulk of last weekend ploughing hardily, ever mindful of rule#5, into galeforce headwinds when there was no earthly reason so to do. some of that number even subscribe to strava premium.
and i have no compunction in blaming the latter for several of the eccentric excesses displayed by the otherwise intrepid velocipedinist. eccentricities such as everesting, a bizarre fringe activity that disturbingly even has its own website. though the rationale behind this climbing extravagance seems a tad tenuous at best, it appears that george mallory opted to train for an attempt at climbing mount everest by repeating smaller gradients until the total amount of ascending equalled or surpassed 8,848 metres.
obviously enough, clambering to the top of the himalayan peak involves an army of tibetan sherpas accompanied by a herd of donkeys or yaks as well as oxygen for the upper reaches. everesting tends to be a smidgeon less expensive as well as an undertaking that can be accomplished as a solo effort.
but why everest? yes, i do get that it's the highest point on earth and thus worthy of our gear changes, but it's hardly one of cycling's iconic climbs. in fact, so far as i'm aware, nobody's ever taken a bicycle to the top of everest and it's extremely unlikely that a bicycle will ever take a cyclist to the top. though self-evidently about 7/8 less taxing, why not consider the giro d'italia that commences later this week and in particular, the stelvio pass, one that tops out at 1,808 metres?
the relatively flat piece of scotland on which i am domiciled has little in the way of peaks that might conceivably offer the opportunity to everest in a day. the highest point on islay reaches only 491 metres and if i was to stelvio, i'd have to ride up over three and a half times. the downside to that theoretical possibility is that there is simply no way on this earth that you'd ever get a road bike up there other than in bits in a large rucksack. but now that i've brought the notion to the foreground, i might just find a hill somewhere that could be stelvio'd without attracting too much public interest.
then again, if even that proves intractable, there's always t-lab's rather fetching stelvio t-shirt, something of a masterpiece in understatement, but employing a graphic design reminiscent of the 1950s. in an era when t-shirt design often appears to have hit its nadir, this and many others from t-labs' laboratory are the very items that could be insouciantly worn in polite company.
screen-printed onto heavyweight, quality cotton and using the italian flag as a subtle flash of colour, this is the very tee that that the cognoscenti would be happily seen wearing at that lonely table in costa coffee.
t-labs' 'stelvio' t-shirt is available in grey at a cost of £27. sizing ranges from small to xl.
monday 1 may 2017
..........................................................................................................................................................................................................