thewashingmachinepost




..........................................................................................................................................................................................................

chamois butt'r original and eurostyle

chamois butt'r

i think i may have been the last of my generation in a long line of generations who had serious need of a handy tub or tube of chamois cream. the first few pairs of cycle shorts that i purchased from the late lamented mel bentley's cycle shop featured real chamois leather, a material that, when new, cossetted my posterior in a fashion that would be unseemly to describe in a family blog. suffice it to say, feather-filled cushions could scarcely have offered greater comfort. after a single washing, however, those feathers had metamorphosed into jagging thorns.

the traditional method, as handed down from a long line of flandrians and tour winners, was to massage a quantity of bona-fide chamois cream until those feathers once more forced the thorns to beat a hasty retreat. though i can hear sniggering at the back from those used only to the synthetic pads that never get jaggy, at the time, no-one really knew any different, so similar to inflating your tyres and oiling the chain prior to a bike ride, it was simply part of being a cyclist with sporting pretensions.

chamois butt'r

in the light of the vast improvement to be experienced from the man-made padding that inhabits the darkest regions of your bibshorts and/or bibtights, questions have been raised in the house as to whether the days of the chamois cream tub have been usurped. no longer is there the fear of having one's bottom worn to the bone when undertaking a longer than usual bike ride. nor, indeed, the worrying concern that one ought perhaps to have been a bit more liberal in one's pre-ride applications. but i, for one, feel that the day of the chamois cream is still quite insistently with us, that until the world's cycling apparel providers offer pre-impregnated chamois pads, you can never have too much of a good thing.

chamois butt'r

if you would indulge me for a few more smatterings of minutes, might i once more return to the case of the bicycle chain, that which features large in my (and others') velocipedinal life, if not solely because i like mine to be shiny at all times. after the hurricane formerly known as ophelia blew past only the other day, few would argue that it's downhill to winter from here on in. and though you may not inhabit a land where cows, sheep and tractors roam the atlantic-edged plains, i'm willing to bet that your proximitous road surfaces are decorated with their own localised crap.

when push comes to shove and sun turns to rain, that crap exhibits an uncanny propensity to attach itself to the nearest bicycle chain it can find. one day, it will be yours. in the halcyon days of yore, when bicycle chains fitted every chainset known to man, not only was the cost of replacement minimal, but there were but five sprockets with which to contend, none of which took the links too far out of line. nowadays, however, it's possible to find twelve pointy circles that will augment your wheelset, acted upon by a chain that nears half the width of those of yesteryear. they now have their lateral work cut out and any miserliness in the cleaning and lubrication stakes will see a hefty replacement bill over the course of a year.

chamois butt'r

bums are nothing like chains, but slather them in wet cow sh*t for an hour or two in the pouring rain and force them to sit on a saddle and they too will feel as if they've been sat on twelve pointy sprockets. to lessen such impropriety, i'm suggesting that a suitable dod (sorry to be so technical) of chamois cream before you leave will retain a smile in the face of adversity for a lot longer than the more neglectful members of the peloton. and because we're pampered cyclists, we demand choice in everything we do or buy, chamois cream being no exception.

ticking every one of the boxes alluded to above is the latest range of creams from the world renowned chamois butt'r, the fellows with a penchant for purple and yellow tubes. i was sent three options from which to choose, though being not a member of the fairer sex, those options dropped to two.

having waxed lyrical for many a long year as to the heritage of the hebridean cyclist being perilously close to that of the flandrian, i cannot deny a distinct favouring of the continental style butt'r, mentholated as it is to chill the nether regions. granted, it's not a preference i intend to discuss at length within the sunday peloton, but already it has inculcated a certain smugness that probably borders on the annoying. for those days when the road surface is bereft of belgian toothpaste, or my commuting requirements are a tad less onerous, i have no compunction in opting for the original flavour.

chamois butt'r

the third option, specifically formulated for the alleged ph requirements of the opposite sex, is not one that i feel particularly qualified to review, so i have passed it on to a lady cyclist of my acquaint. while the efficacy of such preparations is hardly something about which one converses during the sunday morning echelon, the fact that no complaints have reached my ears would, i think it fair to say, indicate at least a modicum of satisfaction.

each tube of original and for her, retails at £15.50 per 235ml, while the eurostyle adds a couple of pounds to sell at £17.50. this means there really is no excuse either to ride sans butt'r or to restrict your choice to only one. unless, of course, you're female.

chamois butt'r is distributed in the uk by 2pure of edinburgh, who kindly supplied the review samples. | chamois butt'r

wednesday 18 october 2017

twmp ..........................................................................................................................................................................................................