drama queen

beat replacement

currently on youtube, there is a series of live-streamed videos under the heading jazzre:freshed, featuring alleged exponents of the modern jazz idiom. as a dyed-in-the-wool bebop fan, i sometimes despair at what is, today, referred to as 'jazz', with many of the modern bands sounding closer to hip-hop than anything i might classify under the heading of 'jazz'. the irony here is that hip-hop was allegedly, heavily influenced by jazz music and now seems to have reversed the roles. i very much doubt i am alone in my contention over its categorisation; that's not to say that the music isn't worth listening to, for much of it is (though a lot of it seems a smidgeon derivative), but i'd rather dig out my art blakey or max roach albums as a matter of preference.

the most recently watched broadcast was of a collective known as beat replacement, fronted by drummer, jamie murray and consisting of a female singer, the aforesaid drummer, a bassist, guitarist and keyboard player. the point at which i joined the live broadcast, the keyboard player was in the process of selecting sustained chords on a small synthesiser, while waxing lyrical (periodically) on a nord keyboard set to emulate a fender rhodes piano. this went on for longer than seemed absolutely necessary, but in the process, the keyboardist, tomasz bura, looked very much as if he was having a fit.

i have seen many a guitar player in rock bands, contort his/her face in sympathy with the apparent strain of playing the solo to end all solos, a feature we rather expect from lead guitarists. it's in the job description. but the soft, bell like sounds of a fender rhodes piano (even if emulated by a nord keyboard), are not sounds that lend themselves to visions of apparent anguish and emotion. certainly not those to be witnessed in this particular broadcast. to be honest, the rest of the band also seemed a mite amused by his dramatic performance.

which rather leads me onto the subject of cycling. recent races, including that of saturday's clasica san sebastian, are replete with live coverage showing the exhortations of the breakaway, or preferably, the lone breakaway, giving it everything they've got in order to stay away from a chasing peloton. the most dramatic representation is almost always to be found in the sprint finish, such as that between ef education nippo's neilson powless, matej mohoric and mikkel honore in the san sebastian classic. in these cases, contorted faces are, however, to be expected, given the effort invested in attempting to win. particularly after riding a few hundred kilometres to get there.

unless you're doing it wrong, the weekend bike rides shouldn't really elicit similar stresses and strains. let's face it; a mid-ride stop at debbie's for a double-egg roll and a soya latte, followed by a clockwise perambulation of loch gorm, topping out at around 65km is hardly the stuff of which legends are made. but should i be making every effort to convince others that it is? after all, other than those reading, nobody knows i stopped for lunch and that the parcours consisted of so few, hard-won kilometres. thus, at the present time of year, when there are a considerable number of cyclists and visitors on the island, maybe i should be attempting to enhance my reputation and, by implication, that of my fellow resident cyclists, via a carefully rehearsed series of facial contortions?

after all, though foreland hilltops out at 9%, it doesn't do so for long; but that's no excuse for my making it look less onerous than i'd have others believe. perhaps if i appeared to be wrestling with the ritchey, out of the saddle until the summit is breached, all the while, emulating the facial contortions of powless and mohoric, i could revisit the monochrome days of pain and suffering. of course, it's a ploy that contains the factors of its own self-destruction.

in the winter months, i'd be pretty much home free, with no comparisons with which passing motorists might reasonably compare. but currently, it's possible to come across several groups of visiting cyclists who, admittedly, might be travelling a tad slower than yours truly, but who are less likely to be making it (cycling round the island) look harder than it actually is. at that point, i'd be in danger of resembling beat replacement's keyboard player.

but then there's the possibility of a recruitment conundrum. were i to meet someone known to me, out for a brief foray into the countryside by bicycle, hoping eventually to acquire the speed and constitution to join the sunday morning peloton, is there a possibility i might inadvertently shatter their aspirations? we are bereft of new members in the velo club and have been for quite some time. and it is all too obvious that none of us are in the process of getting any younger, and my concern for the bloodline following our eventual retirement and receipt of a telegram from the queen, is a real thing. therefore, perhaps instead of attempting to resemble a sprinting finale, i should be making it look like a walk in the park (so to speak)?

you can see my dilemma.

monday 2 august 2021

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i am not a facebook user. in the late 1990s, jakob nielsen setup, a web address that still works to this day, leading your browser to the nielsen norman group, a business that prides itself on ux (user experience) consultancy, 'improving the everyday experience of using technology'. jakob nielsen's mission in life, at least in the latter part of last century, was to improve the accessibility of websites, at the same time constraining the excesses of those who used the nascent interweb as more of a design exercise, than a means of retrieving information. he was the fellow who stated that no desirable link on a website ought to be more than three-clicks distant, that contact details ought to appear at the top of each web page, and that weblinks ought always to be in blue and underlined.

the poor guy must have freaked when macromedia invented flash.

based on my limited experience of facebook, i get the impression that mark zuckerberg must have read all of jakob nielsen's well intended advice, then ignored it completely. on the rare occasions i have had need of looking at a particular page on facebook, i have struggled manfully to find whatever it is i thought i was looking for. and assuming i even found it, i'd really no idea of how to proceed from there. islay has benefited (and i use the word in its loosest sense) from a community facebook page for quite a few years now, one that is allegedly moderated, yet seems to have a great number of members who don't live anywhere near the island.

however, in recent posting, one of the islanders was moved to write a lengthy diatribe advising visiting motorists how to behave on islay's roads, particularly the singletrack routes that act as the backbone to the island's infrastructure. it was, quite probably, a bit longer than necessary; she was obviously possessed by the same sense of frustration as experienced by the velo club. but following advice for motorists and motorhome drivers, she turned her attention to cyclists (though i believe this was directed at visiting cyclists rather than those of us for whom this is home). i have reprinted the relevant section below.

"Cyclists - yes, you need to be included too. Single track roads are by their very nature, well, single. They are just about wide enough for a standard car to drive on. So waving frantically and trying to make us pass you safely (without taking to the grass verge) is not always possible. I am sure it has taken you years to make your pert bottom look good in Lycra and I can only assume you would rather avoid that it comes into contact with the wing mirror of a car, so for that reason, best to pull over to the nearest lay-by and let the vehicles with more than two pedals pass by."

in truth, her assessment of the situation is reasonably accurate. i have lost count of the number of occasions on which i have been moved to point out a similar situation with regard to passing places. i have had rude words shouted at me for pointing out to a few itinerant groups of cyclists the essence of that written above. let's face it, there's a certain amount of self-interest involved; i have to live with the backlash such behaviour inevitably causes. if i had a pound for every time someone has started a sentence with "i was cycling behind this group of cyclists who pedalled past three passing places...". or words to that effect.

however, where i find myself in minor disagreement with her postulations, is the lack of any mention that it's every bit as possible for motorists to make use of a passing place to allow cyclists to pass. granted, if they arrive from behind, the onus is on the cyclists to get out of the way (i should point out that more than just a few simply barge past anyway, apparently unconcerned if a cyclist is inadvertently knocked into a ditch). those of us in the velo club have the location of every passing place on the island, tattooed inside our eyelids, and are expert at getting out of the way as quickly as possible. however, when faced with oncoming traffic, we live in the often forlorn hope that whoever finds themselves adjacent to a passing place first, will do the decent thing and pull over.

granted, more often than not, it is the velo club peloton, or a subset thereof, but every now and again, it would be so nice if we were on the receiving end of reciprocal courtesy. my own philosophy rests on the fact that i am, in fact, simply cycling in circles before heading home for a shower and a change of apparel. i have no need to be anywhere at any particular time, so a few moments stopped in a passing place every now and again will do me no harm. however, it would be nice if, just once in a while, it happened the other way round. i can but sympathise with those on bicycles who do actually have to be somewhere on time, whether on the islands or in scotland.

yesterday, the guardian published the following statement from transport secretary, grant shapps, "Millions of us have found over the past year how cycling and walking are great ways to stay fit, ease congestion on the roads and do your bit for the environment. As we build back greener from the pandemic, we're determined to keep that trend going by making active travel easier and safer for everyone." he was talking about about the government's announcement of a £338 million package to enhance walking and cycling. this was accompanied by the news that changes will also be made to the highway code, including placing pedestrians at the top of a new 'road user hierarchy', a hierarchy that seems also intent on prioritising cyclists. these changes are expected to be approved by parliament in the autumn.

now, i will be very pleasantly surprised if these highway code changes, allied to the extra funding, render null and void the facebook post described above. after all, how many folks, having passed their driving test or cycling proficiency, ever again look at the highway code? and with few police to be seen around the principality, the chances of being brought to book are undeniably slim. it is perhaps worth my while, at this juncture, pointing out that the cost of building one mile of motorway is £30 million, meaning that the government's recent largesse towards walking and cycling is the equivalent of a mere 11.3 miles of motorway.

perspective is a wonderful thing.

saturday 31 july 2021

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be the change

be the change

as part of my 'normal' work, i write rather a lot, but mostly not about bicycles. that said, this past week i did compose my own contribution to an infrequent series in the local newspaper, under the heading of 'my favourite bike ride', but the bulk of the associated scribblings incorporated a couple of book reviews, a look at the state of islay's water supply and a few minor other diatribes. the favoured bike rides will eventually form the contents of a book towards the end of the year, commissioned by the local book and gift shop, with routes described by members of the velo club, including yours truly. eventually, i'll begin work on maps to accompany these, and it ought to be ready for sale to those arriving on the island with bicycles for easter and summer 2022.

the water feature (sic) was encouraged by the knowledge that islay and jura had received, according to ardbeg distillery manager, colin gordon "...around 2-4mm of rain in the past eight weeks." there are a number of homes around the island not on mains water supply, thus dependent on boreholes or wells, themselves dependent on the islands' groundwater supplies. with the water levels in several of the lochs notably lower than usual, and scottish water reporting their reservoirs at 70%, it seemed a timely exercise to look more closely at the present situation.

july is also the traditional shutdown season for the majority of the distilleries, historically often at the behest of lowered water levels across the islands. one or two of the distilleries have delayed restarting production due to lack of water, while others were checking levels prior to making a decision. this has brought me to investigate the strategies in place to ensure their future sustainability as they take steps towards net-zero by 2040, the date targeted by the scotch whisky association of which all are members apart from bruichladdich. the latter have a tendency to plough their own furrow in that respect. water use forms at least one part of that objective, while others involve energy usage, types of energy and waste management.

of course, aiming for net-zero and sustainability are matters also affecting the cycling industry, in particular, the apparel purveyors, the majority of whom have already made strides in that direction. to this effect, daphne and andrew monk at 'tic-cc have instigated 'be the change'. daphne said, "During the last two years we have accelerated changes to our business that we believe will set new industry standards for sustainability. [...] As a result, 95% of our SS21 collection has been made where possible, with fabrics using recycled fibres."

however, as daphne pointed out, just because a technology is labelled as recycled, doesn't necessarily mean it comes with reduced environmental impact. "It is estimated that between 40-80% of the carbon emissions generated during a garment's life-cycle are created during the 'use' phase. Therefore, without the necessary support and action from our customers, we are not fulfilling our environmental commitment."

the latter is a highly relevant point. we can all sit back and expect the clothing companies to make the changes on our behalf, but as we've observed on islay and jura these past few weeks, we can or have to play as big a part in the equation as the authorities. though scottish water are enforced to conserve water as part of their remit, island residents can help by eschewing hosepipes, sprinklers and baths in favour of watering cans and showers.

first on the be the change list, is to launder less. according to tic-cc, the largest carbon footprint of a garment's lifecycle is generated through laundering. the suggestion is that it's not always necessary to wash your kit after every ride, though you might want to take advice from fellow peloton members, before walking past the washing machine. and to prevent micro waste, stick your cycling kit in a mesh laundry bag before washing. and make sure that the cycling kit you buy, is the cycling kit you want. if it's not right for you, chances are you won't wear it as often as the stuff you really, really like.

tic's be the change press release, as you would expect, is printed on recycled paper using vegetable-based inks. but there's no denying that the aroma of ink on paper is totally addictive; i have it sat on the arm of the chair as i type. no change there, then.

tic-cc - be the change

friday 30 july 2021

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oh no it isn't


in 2030, the british government will ban the sales of petrol or diesel-powered cars, with a five-year extension to the shelf-life of hybrid vehicles, before they too are effectively outlawed. though scotland has indicated that the electric regime will not be introduced until 2032, it seems unlikely that the majority of manufacturers hoping to continue selling into the uk, would continue to build a scottish edition petrol or diesel variant for those extra two years. more likely, scotland will decide to join the party in 2030. several manufacturers have either already ceased production of their fossil fuel ranges (volvo, for instance), or have indicated they will do so within the next few years, despite a european ban on the fossil fuel versions not coming into force until 2035. though north america's washington state appears to have come out in sympathy with the uk directive, indications are that america will stay in line with mainland europe.

however, though electric cars are being promoted as less harmful to the planet, according to research carried out by trinity business school's leonhard austmann and samuel vigne, it appears that current (pun intended) sales of electric vehicles have little to do with environmental concerns. in fact, it's possible that sales of e-vehicles are being retarded by a perceived and actual shortage of charging points, a fact underlined by the guardian's sam wollaston in yesterday's edition of the paper, when he drove a skoda enyaq from lands end to john o'groats. his experience mirrored that of my own aboard an e-bike; ignoring the scenery in favour of watching the battery charge indicator, to ensure the destination was closer than the distance left in the battery.

had push come to shove, obviously, his pain would have been greater than that of yours truly. it's still possible to ride a chargeless e-bike.

however, trinity's research seems contrary not only to the manufacturer's ideals and marketing, but perhaps to that of common belief regarding such vehicles. according to the research study, to wit: 'environmental awareness appears to have limited influence on the sales of electric vehicles, and instead could point to other factors, such as the availability - or lack thereof - of charging points for electric vehicles, or high prices.' though the researchers felt it would be an overstatement to completely rule out environmental concerns. "our research indicates that other factors, such as price or availability and infrastructure play a more important role than environmentalism..."

so, could that be a similar condition applicable to sales of e-bikes?

charging infrastructure, or a lack thereof, is less likely to be a factor considered by the prospective e-bike purchaser. so far, few of them are used for lengthy journeys, such as that undertaken by the guardian's motoring correspondent. however, i wouldn't bet against someone attempting to ride from lands end to john o'groats on an e-bike sometime soon, at which point, battery charging might become a somewhat higher priority. so far, however, the little research of which i'm aware, combined with personal observation, would suggest that e-bikes were originally purchased by those who felt unequal to the daily commute on an analogue bicycle.

more recently, however, the e-bike has not only become a fashionable purchase, but possibly perceived as a labour-saving device, ridden by relatively healthy, fit individuals who, in the years prior to the advent of e-bikes, would have been quite content to own or hire analogue bikes. and since the latter is evidently 'greener' than its electric counterpart, it would be hard to justify purchasing the latter, rather than the former, for environmental reasons. of course, the implications of e-bike use stretch a tad wider than those outlined above.

it doesn't take a science or environment graduate to realise that an e-bike used in favour of driving even an electric car, is a move in the right direction. yes, i still think there are many choosing e-bikes at home or on holiday, who have not ridden a bicycle since their schooldays and seem somewhat clueless as to the bicycle's position in the transportational pecking order. that could be a dangerous position from which to advance. however, much like the islay visitors who prefer to refer to the 'whisky festival' in preference to the official 'islay festival', if they arrive on the island, attend the events and spend their money, why should we care about nomenclature?

and if folks opt to commute by e-bike instead of an analogue version, but more importantly, instead of an e-car, the environment wins either way. if we can live in the hope that our electricity will ultimately be fully generated by renewables, net-zero might just move a little closer.

thursday 29 july 2021

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chill the f out

during last sunday's bike ride, following the descent to loch gorm, we met up with the mighty dave t, a man who has elected to 'do his own thing' since the advent of lockdown in march 2020. thus, we often find ourselves perambulating in a direction opposite to that of the great man, with only a brief time to catch-up, before heading on our separate ways. during sunday's conversation, the mighty dave alluded to the existence of two visiting cyclists who had been looking for our diminished peloton, with a view to joining the happy throng, if only for a short period on an islay sunday morning.

catching sight of what appeared to be two cyclists approaching from the direction of rock mountain, we delayed the restart of our sunday ride, just in case the two were the very riders mentioned by dave t. as it transpired, we were mistaken; though there were indeed two cyclists, but two middle-aged women, one of whom was aboard an e-bike, while her companion rode a sit-up-and-beg, analogue machine. we let them pass, said our goodbyes to the mighty dave, and headed off in the same direction as the two recently encountered female riders.

barely had we clipped in, than the two ladies stopped at the verge, concerned that their considerably slower speed would hold us back on this remote, single track road. a kind gesture indeed, and one for which we thanked them as we passed. however, this particular happenstance did serve to underline the substantial difference between them and us (and by implication, a situation that exists throughout the velocipedinal world). while we were all to be found riding, steel, titanium or carbon bicycles, with skinny tyres and bendy bars, those are hardly the sort of machinery you would choose to ride if simply popping down to the shops, or aiming towards a quiet picnic in the country. in itself, that is intended as no indictment; the style of bicycle on which you ride has, or should have, no adverse effect on your membership of the world's cycling club.

and though many of us may be aware of this disparity, either taking it in our stride, or simply ignoring it entirely, it has now formed the basis of a campaign initiated by outsize cycle clothing purveyor, fat lad at the back. for the number of cyclists who can slide themselves into the size range offered by the likes of rapha, castelli, assos, endura et al, probably reflects the disparity seen in society at large. though we might be loathe to admit it, according to fat lad at the back, "It's a well-known fact that the cycling industry can be very serious and somewhat cliquey. For a long time it's all been about climbing the biggest hill or smashing personal bests, or showing off on Strava." how often have you heard it said that, "if it's not on strava, it didn't happen"?

and though it may be no more palatable to read, the recent rise in fascination for zwift, has likely only exacerbated the problem, encouraging the stay-at-home crowd to strive for levels of fitness that can truly only be visually expressed by riding like wout van aert on the sunday ride, going to the shops, or alleged leisure cycling towards a quiet country picnic. fat lad at the back hold not unfounded concern that "Cycling as an adult has become much more serious and, for some, much less fun. A lot of that is down to the pressure of performance-based goals."

however, a bit like walking to get the daily paper rather than using the car, it's a situation that we're often inclined to discard; 'it's ok for others to consider, but rather obviously, i'm way too fast to consider 'chilling the f out'. though velominati's rule #5 proposes that we 'harden the f**k up', even if said with tongue firmly planted in cheek, we're possibly in serious danger of taking this rule, and others, far too seriously. i'm not discounting the fact that there are those for whom strava, zwift and a power meter are essential considerations, but they are very much in the minority (not that they'd admit it).

climbing the biggest hill or besting personal bests are indisputably features included in many modern-day sportives or gran fondos, so it is perhaps indicative of the velo club's attitude that the ride of the falling rain eschews the necessity to attempt either. we have frequently been told that the ride has been found popular for those very reasons. but were you to be present at the grand départ this coming sunday, you'd hardly be aware, given the bicycles and apparel featured on the patio at debbie's.

according to the founder of fat lad at the back, "...I realised it doesn't have to be about chasing your PB or Strava segment. Some of my best days cycling have been those spent with good mates, at a steady pace, chatting all the way. It's what cycling used to be like when I was a kid and it's what reignited my passion to get back into the saddle." in truth, many sunday rides are exactly like that described above; i know ours are, even if we dress like refugees from the professional peloton, and breeze past those on hired e-bikes. and though there's competition to hang on for as long as possible on the climb past aoradh farm, on the majority of occasions, those first to the top, are generously inclined to sit and wait for the straggler(s).

for those without a career defining need to emulate richard carapaz or tom pidcock, perhaps it would do us well to take the advice of fat lad at the back, and 'chill the f out' every now and again. if your peloton, like our peloton, struggles to recruit new members to the cause, there might be good reason for that (unless, of course, today's young acolytes are all indoors on their smart trainers, where fun is fast).

fat lad at the back

wednesday 28 july 2021

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signs of life. to the ends of the earth with a doctor. stephen fabes. pursuit books paperback 396pp illus. £10.99

signs of life - stephen fabes

despite the recent finish of the tour de france and the medals awarded at the olympic games, it's worth remembering, at salient points in our obsessiveness, that, at heart, the bicycle is but a means of transport. though it has been frequently pointed out that the minute anything appears with wheels, someone will want to race, the bicycle began life as a mechanical substitute for the horse and as a mechanical alternative to pedestrianism. though its form and essential functions have remained pretty much unaltered over the last hundred years, its ability to transport humans (and occasionally, small dogs) cleanly, efficiently and inexpensively, has rarely been equalled.

it is also a vehicle which confers an almost unrivalled sense of freedom upon its rider. no matter where in the world a bike is being ridden, the rider can experience his/her surroundings in a way that remains a closed shop to those inside cars, buses or trains. arguably motorcycling comes a close second, but riders of such machines are invariably required to wear certain protective attire, and there's the not inconsiderable necessity (and expense) of refuelling en-route.

thus, books such as stephen fabes' 'signs of life' are very much the result of the bicycle's ability to form the core part of the tale, without necessarily becoming an intrinsic part of the narrative. in other words, from the outset, we are aware that dr. fabes is travelling by bicycle, despite the lack of regular mentions throughout. a catalyst, if you will. for instance, while each week's edition of the comic will offer a piece by piece description of a professional's bicycle, dr fabes begins with...

"Bike fine tuned...", followed a paragraph later, by "I wheeled my new touring bicycle towards the tape..."

though the bicycle is occasionally referred to again during the opening chapter, we know not whether 'tis lugged steel, tig welded steel, aluminium or carbon. there is no note of the brand or spec of groupset, or whether it features a double or triple chainset. and though it may seem a tad trite to mention in a cycling blog, none of those points matter one whit. after all, this is a travel book, meaning, it really isn't all about the bike.

stephen fabe's credentials for heading into the wide blue yonder in the saddle, began with he and his brother planning to ride the length of chile, "from bottom to top". despite meeting with a rider who had cycled the length of the americas, a man who offered much in the way of advice, the chile trip apparently didn't go quite according to plan.

"The journey that my brother and I eventually made from one end of Chile to the other was equal parts disaster and revelation."

having qualified as a doctor and working between guys hospital and st. thomas, the beginning of a new decade brought moments of 'what if' and a constant worry that he might wake up one day with "...a passion for quilting and jigsaws". while his self-deprecating sense of humour undoubtedly contributed to his ability to suffer the slings and arrows that any wide-ranging cycle trip is bound to impose, it features sporadically and strategically thoughout this lengthy, but highly entertaining narrative. however, fabes' ventures into the great unknown almost came to a halt before properly started.

when none too far from istanbul, "A chunk of cartilage had opted to go it alone explaining the rogue lump inside my knee." [...] "Go home. Only a surgeon can fix this." the subsequent return by flight to turkey was subsequently delayed due to the eruption of an unpronounceable icelandic volcano.

fabes travels took him, quite literally around the world, cycling down through europe and africa before flying to the southern tip of south america, then heading north to alaska and another flight to melbourne, australia. this resulted in the homeward trip, up through indonesia, and northern india, before backtracking through china, outer mongolia and eventually back to europe before reaching his southern england departure point some six years later. fabes descriptive skills are frequently put to good use throughout such an extensive time on the bike

arriving in the republic of the union of myanmar, he observes, "Down the road was Kawkareik, a small town of dust and nervous dogs. Spidery men pedalled trishaws or sat in the shade of teak, leaf-proofed huts, bare chested, dragon tattoos from shoulder blades to smalls of back. A policeman approached me, stinking of liquor and sending a red jet of betel-nut paste to the ground."

as you might expect, there were many adventures to be experienced along the way, occasionally meeting up with fellow cyclists for part of the journey. There were also the varying climates with which to contend. describing the rainfall in northern india's cherrapunjee, he relates, "On an average year, around twelve metres of rain fell here. Welsh missionaries set up base in Cherrapunjee 175 years ago, but they soon gathered up their dank clothes and mouldy bibles and retreated to Shillong. I'll repeat that: the Welsh fucked off because it was too wet."

and then there was the inescapable reality of different languages and their often inscrutable dialects. one or two of those whom he met along the way spoke both english and the local linguistics, happy to translate, as the route wound through the visited country. however, fabes observations did not let him down even in this respect. "Mongolian, by the way, sounds like someone is waterboarding a Klingon." these humorous asides and observations contribute to an addictive 396 pages of travelogue, in which the bicycle is but an important adjunct to the tale. it may not have received endless mention in dispatches, but both stephen fabes, you and me know that the trip couldn't have happened without it. i'd be inclined to agree with gavin francis, author of 'adventures in human being' who is quoted as saying "A fever dream for armchair travellers..."

tuesday 27 july 2021

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