thewashingmachinepost




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the never ending story

bicycle technology

as i have reiterated on several occasions, my initial attraction to the bicycle, as opposed to a motor car, was based predominantly on the apparent simplicity of the machine. though those with a tad less mechanical aptitude may be inclined to disagree, the technology required to make any bicycle proceed in a forward direction had mostly been developed in the 19th century, providing it with an arguably unparalleled track record, and it was pretty simple to maintain. agreed, dismantling a sturmey archer hub gear might not be everyone's idea of a pleasant sunday afternoon hobby, but chains, derailleurs and caliper brakes are far less onerous, mostly involving regular application of three-in-one oil.

it would be entirely wrong to single out the cycle industry as a pariah amongst others when it comes to persistent technological development, whether you view this from the point of view of frames, components or garmentage. there are oh-so-many other strains of life that have technology imposed upon them from a great height, and not always for good reason. number one son was recently put to great expense when an unused sensor on his car ceased to function (for a seemingly random reason), creating almost a cottage industry all of its own to discover which secondary sensor had caused failure in the one highlighted on his dashboard.

though you may be able to guess the brand, a compact and bijou lighting system reviewed in these very pixels, arrived with its own smartphone/ipod app, allowing the lights to be switched on and off via said app, as well as choosing from several flash modes and checking the battery level. the fact that the app apparently remained operative throughout the day (even when unused) and drained the ipod battery, was an unfortunate, if relatively trivial side-effect.

but, in reality, who actually needs to switch their lights on and off via an app, when standing next to the bicycle? and is there actually anything to be gained from so doing from the kitchen before exiting to ride the bike? a friend of mine purchased the more salubrious version of the same lighting set, allowing the above functions to be accessed via his bar-mounted gps unit. sadly, that doesn't alter my questioning.

in fact, the same gent has had to replace his di2 levers after only half a decade, the tentative benefit being that the new ones apparently feature buttons atop the levers allowing page control of the aforesaid bar-mounted gps unit. and similarly to both sram and campagnolo, yet another smartphone app allows programming of the gear changes (whatever that means). it would, therefore, presumably not be an understatement to proclaim a loss of simplicity within the velocipedinal realm.

however, much like those who rail against the prices appended to rapha clothing, there's no actual requirement to own any of the above to join the sunday morning bike ride. if, like me, you'd prefer to use (minimal) muscle power to change gear, and have no requirement to programme your gear changes, shimano, campagnolo and sram are still happy to provide the mechanical wherewithal for you to do so. therefore, there is no need for you or me to moan about any of the foregoing, even though it appears that i might actually be guilty of precisely that.

larry summers, the former united states treasury secretary was quoted in 2013, saying that he used to think "...the luddites were wrong, and the believers in technology and technological processes were right. I'm not so completely certain now."

but, in my old age, i may just be relenting just a bit, as long as e-bikes with electronic shifting and hydraulic disc brakes remain optional. each to their own, as they say. therefore, my real question is, "when will it all end?" there are already signs that a slow-down has affected the apparel market, often finding the previous year's must-have clothing, demoted to a simple colour change for the new season. i'm not an engineer, or an electronics expert, so there's little point in looking at me, eager to learn where bicycle technology might be heading next. but, far from becoming the poster-boy for climate change, marketing seems likely to be responsible for pushing the bicycle towards the continued addition of largely unnecessary fripperies, in the perennial quest to offer something new.

maybe the answer is not necessarily a full-stop; perhaps a simple. multi-year moratorium would suffice?

monday 13 january 2020

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the grand tour files 2019 pete linsley. road theory softback 202pp £5.99

the grand tour files 2019 - pete linsley

sitting on the arm of my faux leather armchair as i scribble these words, is the current edition of procycling magazine, the cover of which features five notable cyclists, stamped with the legend "review of the decade 2010-2020". it is perhaps fortunate for ed pickering and his band of merry people, that there is a zero at the end of the year we have just begun to inhabit, for previous januarys have had their pages filled with reviews of only the previous year. this has also been the case for the comic, and probably true for several other international cycling publications. it's as predictable as lighting reviews come november and 'riding your first sportive/century' articles in the approaches to summer.

it's generally the only time of year when i regret having either a postal subscription or a regular newsagent's order, for in a perfect world, i'd simply avoid purchasing the january edition of anything. even my copy of downbeat magazine has filled many of its pages with the 'best albums of 2019'. the malaise, as i see it, is everywhere.

as i would imagine is the case for each and every member of the velocipedinal cognoscenti, i have watched as many days of cycle racing in 2019 as i could, including even the more obscure one day races in the months of spring. and though i continually promise myself that i will pay less televisual attention to the grand tours, it's a promise that remains largely unfulfilled. so, having watched these races, absorbed the results and possibly even discussed salient aspects of the parcours with fellow members of the velo club, why on earth would i wish to interrupt the month of january by reprising those events?

however, if i might narrow the premise just a tad, to encompass only the previous season's three grand tours, even though i'd have been hard-pressed to recall the victor of at least two of them, i would sturdily avoid re-living those nine weeks of my life. but, having said that, if they were written in the style of pete linsley's the grand tour files 2019, i might well relent. mr linsley's narrative style refuses to treat the giro, the tour and the vuelta as academic dissertations, ripe for forensic analysis, a style which leads to a more enjoyable time reading about races we've already seen, and the results of which (memory willing) we are already aware.

in his introduction to the book, the author examines the difficulties of watching every single televised minute of all three tours across the year. those who participate in the pedalling are not only paid to do so, but have the majority of their whims catered for by varying numbers of support staff. the bike is ready each morning, there's always a team car ready with a sticky bottle when needed, and any amount of jam sandwiches can be had prior to the daily massage. as sergei would attest, 'simples'.

for the average citizen, dependent on the daily travail to put food on the table, and invariably a cycling-agnostic family, who fail to see the attraction and necessity to watch quite so much of it on the telly box, sergei's profundity is somewhat less applicable.

"...how I get away with watching every moment of every Grand Tour on your behalf?
"That would be telling."

this tantalising, yet unfulfilled insight into his methodology is presaged with...

"For a pro cyclist to ride a Grand Tour, non-stop, without rest, sleep or recourse to intermittent budget hotel Wi-Fi,would take around three and a half full days. [...] But alas, it would also fall foul of stringent EU Working Time Directives; damn you, Brussels, with your draconian protection of workers' rights!"

despite a complete absence of illustrations or photographs, mr linsley's precis of each race is a joy to read, simply because i figure he has the healthiest of motives; he must surely take his cycling seriously, but has an excellent perspective on levity and brevity. for how else could a stage by stage discourse on the three week giro d'italia, occupy a mere 61, fun-filled pages?

"And today, in the standard Giro post-race parade of pink, Carapaz took to the podium with his two young kids. [...] Meanwhile, the population of his country went bananas.
"Or whatever the Ecuadorian equivalent is."

however, though i have already made mention of the cycling media's annual testament to the season past, mr linsley's appreciation of the tour de france's cliché festival is seemingly no different than our own. this is even to the extent of echoing the common chorus elevating the sporting attraction of both the giro and vuelta above that of le tour. yet there are probably more pairs of eyes watching the latter than either of the former.

"The Tour is the Tour, we will be reminded. Farmers will seize their moment to protest, Peter Sagan will win the Green Jersey. Sunflowers...overhead shots of bike themed town displays...horses running alongside the peloton...cuddly podium lions...crashes...thirty four years since a French win...blah...blah.
"You know the stuff."

if there is any justice in this world of bicycles, the services of pete linsley will be snapped up by one publication or another to pen their inevitable review of the year come next january. meanwhile, you owe it to yourself to grab a copy of this joyful, yet pleasantly underpriced book.

the grand tour files 2019 is available from amazon.co.uk

the grand tour files 2019 | road-theory.com

sunday 12 january 2020

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from little stones...

pearson gravel bike

in a previous incarnation, i had responsibility for ensuring that all the ingredients for those plastic meals served on aeroplanes, were in place for scheduled flights on a daily basis. while this may seem like a prescriptive task, for which there would be a failsafe template, in truth, little could be further from the truth. if we take a friday flight as an example, prospective passenger numbers would be issued on a monday, purely as a rough guide, because there would undoubtedly be several updates as the week progressed. however, it would have been highly impractical to leave the ordering of comestibles for delivery on the friday morning, always bearing in mind that flights are regularly oversold to account for predicatble 'no shows'.

unfortunately, many of the food items required for each airline's menu variations, are of a perishable nature. therefore, simply calculating the maximum requirements and ordering accordingly, was never going to be a satisfactory solution. for if, as was often the case, the passenger load was less than maximal, there would have been excess stock for which i'd have been held responsible, but hopefully deducted from orders for other flights. though i was reasonably adept and successful in such ministrations, it would be naive to deny that the position was more stressful than i'd have liked.

and, like many, i do not cope with stress particularly well.

while i have hardly been innocent in my cynicism aimed at the burgeoning gravel biking band wagon on which many are currently jumping, it is hard to disregard the potential benefits of riding off-road. i know well just how lucky i am living on an island, with relatively low-volume traffic and a substantial network of single track roads along which i might undertake my perambulations. several of those might just about qualify as gravel roads, tentatively justifying the acquisition of yet another bicycle in the bike shed, but along which i and my fellow pelotonese are happy to underbike on our 28mm of road-going rubber.

but, not to adopt a position of arrogance, we've been doing this cycling thing for more than just a smattering of years. those approaching from the opposite end of the ladder can surely be forgiven for the possible confusion engendered by the proliferation of cycling media, amongst which, it must be stated, thewashingmachinepost is one. road bikes, 'cross bikes, mountain bikes, hybrids, e-bikes and now gravel bikes and even gravel e-bikes, all of which exhibit a wide range of often breathtaking prices and frame materials, can do little but create a culture of confusion, even for those who already ride one of the above mentioned classifications. double-chainsets, single chainsets, mechanical and electronic groupsets, tyre widths, tyre diameters... the list gets longer by the day.

guy pearson, director at pearson cycles of east sheen, london, and a former cyclocross champion said "The freedom gravel cycling offers is the reason why it's becoming so popular. Road cycling is great but can be pretty stressful at times, especially if you're new to the sport.

"However, gravel cycling allows you to get away from the traffic and the chaos and lose yourself in the amazing scenery this country has to offer. It really is the most amazing tonic for body and mind."

while i'd take issue with the contention that road cycling can be stressful, i fear that might well be subject to location. i'm sure i'd have an altogether different opinion, if my cycling efforts were confined to an inner city or urban setting. but in an effort to put his (and your) money where his mouth is, guy pearson has organised a gravel evening event, in conjunction with mental health charity action for happiness, where the pearson's team of gravel-riding experts will pass on their knowledge of kit, bike technology, fit and the best routes on which to mingle with the gravel and undergrowth.

the event will be held at pearson performance in east sheen at 7:30pm on thursday 16 january. tickets cost £10 each, and include drinks, nibbles and all the gravel information you could need. all proceeds will go to action for happiness. tickets can be ordered online via the link below, or you can pop into pearson's and buy direct. that way, you can hopefully make a more informed decision as to which type of bicycle will likely suit your intended purposes, and whether gravel is the very thing to reduce any of the potential or actual stresses of life.

gravel evening tickets | action for happiness

saturday 11 january 2020

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topsy turvy

commuting cyclists

in the last decade of last century, members of the committee overseeing the operations of our local newspaper, included a survey enquiring of the readership, which of the regular features ranked highly on their fortnightly reading list. at the time, the paper published a monthly column entitled, 'criomagan' (gaelic for 'bits and pieces'), written by an islay man, resident in glasgow. criomagan' was published solely in gaelic, endearing itself only to those capable of reading the language; though common across the island, in essence, it was predominantly a spoken language and not all speakers could read it.

at around the same time, thewashingmachinepost was in its embryonic stages, occasionally seen within the same printed pages as was criomagan. when the results of the survey were analysed, though we're talking remarkably small numbers, it transpired that more folks read the post, than read 'criomagan'. there was mild concern when a visiting journalist from a national newspaper apparently deliberately misunderstood this information and published an article claiming that, on islay at least, cycling was perceived as more important than scotland's national language.

if you consider that, at that period in time, there were but three regular cyclists on the isle, this may have been a wanton misrepresentation of the facts.

however, when it comes to surveys, the public can be split into two distinct groups: those who enjoy completing surveys, and those who, quite frankly, don't. it seems quite possible, therefore, that unless the surveyed sample is quite substantial, to help even out any preponderance of prejudicial responses, it's quite possible that the final results could be seen as slightly skewed, to say the least. i well know that, when traipsing the streets of glasgow or edinburgh, should someone attempt to detain me, even briefly, to elicit my responses to one salient question or another, i'm more than likely to speedily alter my trajectory. any phone calls attempting similar inquisition, are similarly avoided.

thus, to my knowledge, my opinion has not been included in any national surveys, allowing me to moan incessantly about a lack of any personal solicitation. however, though i reserve the right to do so in the future, my current survey gripe concerns a differing aspect of the genre; namely, reporting.

london and new york based market research consultants, savanta, part of the next15 group, recently conducted a study into the cycling habits of the uk population, though, given a national population of marginally less than 66.5 million, their sample of 1,040 hardly seems representative. on the basis that statistical percentages may mean as little to you as they do to me, i do not intend to spend a great deal of time on a concise listing of the results. however, the headline reporting that resulted from publication of the study, scarcely made for optimism on behalf of the nation's cycling organisations.

"A third of Brits don't cycle more as it's 'too dangerous'"

leaving aside the fact that one-third of the uk population is around 22 million, some 21 thousand times greater than savanta's polled sample, i do wonder why it was seen as prudent to lead with a negative, followed by several other negatives? lest you think that was the sole option "While cost is the second-most chosen reason for those who cycle to and from work (44%), simple enjoyment takes second place for 'leisure cyclists' (59%). not that i'm an expert in the interpretation of statistical information, but 44% (commuting) and 59% (enjoyment) would appear to be significantly higher numbers than the 34% who claim that cycling is 'too dangerous'.

presumably bad news provides a better palmares in the world of market research.

friday 10 january 2020

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standard practice

chris king micro spline hub

a friend of mine dropped his bicycle in at the croft, in the sincere hope that i can rectify an honest error made when purchasing a replacement part. several months ago, he acquired the bicycle from another friend who, having discovered that he enjoyed road cycling a great deal more than his former activity of golf, bought a new improved model. the present owner of the bicycle found that the factory fitted stem was a tad longer than was comfortable, and not unnaturally sought out a shorter version. i'm sure many of you will have seen this coming, but on fitting the new, stubbier stem, he discovered that the bar diameter was more than a smidgeon smaller than the clamp diameter of the stem.

have we all been there? well, maybe.

it is no credit whatsoever to the cycle industry that such an error could be made in the first place, principally due to a lack of appropriate labelling. i have had more than just a few sets of wheels for review, the rims of which have been peppered with bright yellow and red stickers advising the user of break track wear, nominal weight limits and all manner of alternative info. camapgnolo's bora series even sports a q/r code that directs the owner to an information page on campagnolo's website. one must therefore ask the question as to why both bars and stems were not also infected by stickerdom, stating the necessity of compatibility between the two?

it would be iniquitous to expect the world's component manufacturers to steadfastly remain tied to a single standard, obsessed as they are, not only by an incessant need to re-define standards, but also because they are under the thumb of the great god stiffness. hence the continual growth of that central bump on the bars, a feature entirely missing from the bars in my opening paragraph. but, if you're somewhat new to this word of velocipedinal faff and some considerable distance from a helpful, local bikeshop...

last week, i received an unexpected press release from portland's chris king components, alerting me to their having licensed shimano's new micro-splined freehub. though we already have sram's open source xd hub, which, if i read the information correctly, would comfortably accommodate the 10-51 tooth xtr cassette, for which those micro-splines were designed. shimano are probably like apple computer once was, adhering to the 'not invented here' mantra, instead of cherry-picking technology already available. yet, they have stayed clear of making their own set of 23 micro-splines freely available to all, creating yet another standard of which the great unwashed will likely remain blissfully unaware.

it has ever been thus; at a rough guess, the bicycle industry must be the guardian of more so-called standards, than any other comparable industry. that, on past and current evidence, is highly unlikely to change anytime soon; in truth, it's likely only to get worse. so, rather than relying on stickers and manuals underling the fact that warranties will only be honoured if serviced or assembled by trained, authorised agents or mechanics, perhaps their time would be better spent with their respective graphics departments, designing informative, strategically positioned labels, ensuring that those faced with any aspect of the technologies available, are at least aware of the many idiosyncracies to be encountered.

however, i won't be holding my breath for any adopted standard, even in this area of velocipedinisation.

thursday 9 january 2020

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up an at' em

danny macaskill's gymnasium

like many, i was an unwitting purchaser of a mountain bike. not exactly that i was sold something that i didn't want; a muddy fox courier was definitely what i was aiming for, but the connotations of the word 'mountain' had hardly been taken into consideration. the main attraction at the time, was the three chainrings up front, a feature that mostly pertained to touring bicycles at the time, but allied to an allegedly indestructible frame and tyres that promised hitherto unencountered comfort and stability, seemed like too good an offer to pass up. the fact that the mountain bike was too cool for skool may also have had an intangible influence.

danny macaskill's gymnasium

again, in the manner of a flock of sheep, owning such machinery obviously demanded that i subscribe to at least one of the many magazines that had sprung up in honour of this new bandwagon. such publications, all attempting to write about the same stuff, at the same time, searched for every idiosyncratic corner of this new world, hopefully to differentiate themselves from each other on the magazine racks in the nearest branch of menzies (now almost universally known as wh smith). such demands, unsurprisingly, led to many examples of trivialities, such as who amongst the great and good held the ability to bunny hop the highest, wheelie the longest distance or perform a 360 degree spin like wot the bmx-ers could do.

danny macaskill's gymnasium

of course, as an apprentice famous member of the cycling media, and noted amongst the velocipedinal intelligentsia, i cast an insolent sneer at such fripperies. having acquired three chainrings and a healthy spread of sprockets at the rear, my intentions lay more heavily on ascending slippery slopes without once having to dab a foot to the soil. it does my professed street cred no favours whatsoever to admit that the lack of any achievements in the latter, fared less well than i'd have hoped. it was, therefore, only a matter of time before i ran away and joined the circus.

danny macaskill's gymnasium

anything that involved flying through the air in close proximity to spinning wheels, sprockets, and/or chainrings, was obviously never actually going to happen. prudency dictated that, given my minimal bike handling skills, i begin with baby steps, such as trackstanding for more than 30 seconds (on potentially agonisingly lethal bear-trap pedals, let me say). for health and safety reasons, such a procedure was best carried out in the long grass, but a few pedalstrokes from the croft. thus, any potential pitfalls would result purely in a few green-stains on my vans.

danny macaskill's gymnasium

despite my having graduated from the darkside to that of skinny wheels and bendy bars, my bike handling skills have improved little in the intervening decades, though i'll admit to having acquired the jedi mind-trick of avoiding potholes even at speed. and while we're on that particular subject, when descending the hill at foreland, assuming no meeting with ascending motor cars, taking of the first blind corner without fingers anywhere near the brake levers, became a right of passage, but admittedly one which took a few more repeat descents than i'd hoped for.

but, since then, it hasn't got any better than that.

meanwhile, not too many islands north of here, danny macaskill has made an entire career out of being fearless in the face of contrived adversity and being more than entertaining while he does so. and, lest you think the lad to be only a few steps away from one of those ruffians in a hoodie, let me advise you that mr macaskill's latest video shows him emulating three time world road-race champion, peter sagan, and entering the gym.

the results can be seen via the link below.

danny macaskill's gymnasium

wednesday 8 january 2020

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whatever happened to peace, love and pain and suffering?

pain and suffering

the guardian newspaper, in its weekend colour supplement this past saturday, published a feature entitled 'when the going gets tough' in which they spoke to several women athletes from different sporting disciplines, about their participation in the new wave of ultra events. along with runners, rowers, and swimmers, the guardian spoke to emily chappell, whose publication late last year of 'where there's a will', was reviewed in these very pixels.

while i have no intention of reprising any specific portions of the article, it seems prudent to to offer a succinct quote from ms chappel, to wit:

"A lot of the narrative for cycling is about pain and suffering and the pain cave and the glory of pain and seeking out pain. Oh, God, it's so boring."

to an extent, it's a quote with which it is hard to argue, tinged with only a smidgeon of irony, given that emily is shown in an accompanying image, wearing a rapha 'brevet' cycle jersey and an explore range thermal jacket. the irony results predominantly from the knowledge that, up until the summer of 2004, 'pain and suffering' had been conspicuous from the cyclists' lexicon. fifteen years ago, rapha introduced us to the world of monochrome, sportwool and that pain and suffering of which emily made mention.

in truth, the mantra pertains predominantly to the professional road-racer, a class of individual who was not only expected to race in all weather conditions, but train in them too. it has been said by cycling commentators, directeurs sportifs and cyclists themselves, that one of the keys to competitive success was the ability to suffer and hurt themselves more than their peers, for which more than just a few are handsomely remunerated. let's face it, if the distance between you and a yellow jersey means an agonising climb to the summit of mont ventoux, the man or woman willing to suffer that agony might well be the one seen atop the podium.

on boxing day almost two weeks ago, while aiming to cover my festive 500 kilometres, after the first hour of riding in cold, wet and windy conditions, i could no longer feel either my fingers or my toes. however, with debbie's positioned at the mid-way point, as i approached bruichladdich, i warmed to the luxury of a double-egg roll and froth-supping. on discovering that the café was closed, i may well have mentally recited the phrase 'pain and suffering', but in truth, the ride was far from the true meaning of those words, even if it seemed so at the time.

and that, i think, is the reality of the situation.

if you count yourselves as fully paid-up members of the sunday peloton, with little or no sporting pretensions, then it's more than likely that you have been fully shielded from pain and suffering, no matter what rapha's website has been telling you. on that thursday, i mentioned to mrs washingmachinepost that while the ride had been purgatory at the time, after a warm shower and a change of clothing, my 100 cold and wet kilometres had taken on an heroic air. inside my head, at least. emily chappell's contention that pain and suffering is a male construct, is, unfortunately, probably truer than 50% of the human species would like.

"In cycling, women are looking for the freedom they lack in life."

ms. chappell is nothing, if not perspicacious, though i have insufficient experience (not to say the wrong gender) to test the veracity of that statement. for rapha's early offerings of white hoop sleeved jerseys, photographed in black and white, were aimed squarely at us blokes (rapha's women's range surfaced many years later), and, admit it or not, we pretty much fell for it hook, line and sinker. in fact, despite emily chappell's insightfulness, i daresay there is a large peloton of devotees who still believe it to this day. there is nothing at all wrong with imagining that you're eddy merckx, peter sagan or johan museeuw from saturday morning, till sunday night, but until dave brailsford or patrick lefevre arrive at your front door, contract and pen in hand, pain and suffering is merely a concept.

try looking up the definition of reality (but feel free to subsequently ignore it).

tuesday 7 january 2020

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