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only an excuse

several years ago, when i was still in the midst of repairing bicycles as a career choice, two gents on holiday on islay dropped by to ask if i could fully inflate a recently replaced inner tube. as i faffed with the jammed top on a presta valve, one enquired of the other (or so i thought) "did you see the match last night?" it was an enquiry quickly repeated, at which point i realised the question had been directed at yours truly. i could only assume he referred to a televised football match the previous evening, a sporting event of which i was completely unaware, and would have strenuously avoided had i been even known of its existence. though naive in the extreme, it was the salient point at which i realised the ubiquity of football support; that if you were of the male persuasion, you were automatically assumed to be a soccer supporter.

in fact, and in common with many cycle sport fans, the latter is the only sporting activity in which i hold any interest at all. and if push comes to shove, i can dial down even further to specifically cite cyclocross as the principal object of desire. i believe i may have made that plain on more occasions than is seemly in polite company. however, it would be hard to deny that football/soccer occupies the interest of more of britain's population than any other sport. were that not the case, we'd scarcely be on the pointy end of tnt sports' dramatic increase in monthly subscription costs purely to subsidise their insane £6.7 billion payment for exclusive rights to the premier league until 2030.

thursday's long read in the guardian newspaper paid lip service to soccer's uncanny hold upon the british psyche; it often seems that the associated level of punditry knows no excess. "sometimes it can feel like football matches are played merely in order to provide content for the great discourse machine." on acquisition of my saturday copy of the selfsame newspaper, i am in the disorderly habit of removing the so-called 'sport section', where the majority of column inches concern themselves with interviews, comment and previews of football matches and those who play them. it is often hard to believe that 90 minutes of play-acting can generate sufficient information to fill those pages. it's also quite easy to see just how slim the sports section would be, were it not for wall-to-wall football.

i have no inside information as to whether football punditry is regarded as the pinnacle of sports commentary, but disgraced pundit, gary lineker's the rest is football claims almost eight million listens per month on youtube alone. that's 2.5 million more than the population of scotland. compare that with tnt cycling commentator, rob hatch's youtube channel the grupetto, which sports a comparably low 266,000 subscribers. where once eurosport would offer minimal live coverage of the tour de france, which started with no fanfare and often left the broadcast seconds after the line was crossed, nowadays we have pointless pundits on motorbikes and orla chennoui's harem stood awkwardly round an incongruous fluorescent lectern.

the blame for the latter must rest squarely with the long-demised cycling tv for their instigation of on the sofa with rebecca charlton, where the great and the good would discuss an upcoming race. it's a sofa on which i was once invited to sit, by way of a brian smith practical joke (i had once naively told him that i dreaded ever having to appear on the sofa, due to my lack of perspective on the professional sport). i'm of the opinion that professional cycling, even the three grand tours, has not yet achieved parity with soccer; none of us consider the punditry surrounding our sport as being greater than the sum of its parts. but, if a bar has been set to which others must aim, surely soccer/football is the likely perpetrator? it could well be the qualifier on which rapha founder, simon mottram, ought to keep a close eye, as a means of gauging his efforts to make cycling the most popular sport in the world.

it seems that the more popular a sport becomes, the more popular it becomes. but only if it's football

friday 23 may 2025

missing a trick

according to a recent newspaper report, the chicago sun-times published its book recommendations for summer 2025 including several titles that don't actually exist. the reason behind this major faux-pas can apparently be placed at the door of artificial intelligence, the use of which resulted in the error-filled item of editorial. that the likes of chatgpt is renowned for often less than accurate output as well as convincing prose can be gauged by the fact that there is freely available software to check whether ai has been used to generate anything you may have read recently. perpetual adverts on tv would have you wondering what all the fuss is about, and why so many billions of dollars are being spent to produce a phone app that can tell you how to make biscuits out of a failed attempt at a savoury sauce.

but artificial intelligence is capable of far more than talking to a phone owner about football or cars. that said, for the life of me, when composing this monologue, i couldn't actually think of one. but that is hardly to deny its potential for aiding and abetting humanity, or, alternatively, utterly destroying its future. and it strikes me that, even as we speak, it's entirely possible that campagnolo, sram and shimano have white-coated boffins beavering away on the integration of ai into their electronic components. for instance, when mentioning electronic gear systems to civilian friends and colleagues, the most errorful conclusion cited by many, is that this happens automatically.

you can see the simple attraction; as more and more sprockets are added to the rear hub, it becomes ever harder for the apprentice velocipedinist to comprehend which of those myriad gears is the most appropriate for the terrain. what if the gears were able to make that decision for you, while you concentrated on breathing through your ears as you ascend that blighter of a gradient at aoradh farm? chatgpt is referred to as a large language model (llm), describing the means by which it has acquired its seemingly limitless knowledge. perhaps, unbeknownst to us, those already using di2, super-record wireless or the equivalent from sram have been sending digital information back to headquarters, information on which the manufacturer can train the next generation. and that next generation will know when to change gear depending on a great deal of learned information provided by you and yours.

but, artificial intelligence aside, it occurs that the makers of various handlebar-mounted devices (think gps) are missing a trick. for instance, if they had paid attention to the ever increasing size of the current crop of smartphones, they would surely have already followed suit with their own devices. and based on friends who seem obsessed with riding indoors on zwift, even in the face of the gloriously warm, sunny weather experienced of late, the data captured by those devices could be overlayed on a pocket-sized version of zwift, enabling them not only to ride with their real friends on hebridean highways and byways, but bring along their virtual friends for the ride.

and as european car manufacturers consider their fate in the face of cheaper and better quality electric vehicles manufactured in china, it transpires that they too have been missing a trick. many contemporary chinese e-vehicles apparently feature in-car karaoke, ceding to the demands of eastern owners. for european car manufacturers, such augmentation is not one that appeared high on the features list as recently as a couple of years ago. now it's an option being given serious consideration in the quest to grab even a portion of the chinese market.

so, consider the likelihood of an outdoor zwift ride, one that seeks to emulate the tour's transition stages, ending in an all-out sprint for the village sign. the commentators know they're boring, we know they're boring, and the riders are probably bored. surely the ideal time to introduce a little in-peloton karaoke, especially if artificial intelligence is taking care of speed, gear changes and possibly navigation via the gps data captured on the handlebar device. just imagine jonas, pog and mathieu's podium-winning rendition of bohemian rhapsody.

but seriously though...

thursday 22 may 2025

wired for sound

as part of a much bigger moan, i have already begun to fear for mankind due to its enforced obsession with electricity. those far better qualified in such matters than am i have been brought to point out that the electric car revolution is quite probably the wrong move altogether, for which blame is apportioned to elon musk. the south african is probably used to being on the receiving end of criticism, even if, in this case, it's not entirely justified. tesla was founded in 2003 to build electric cars, a task at which it proved almost maniacally successful; easily falling in line with world environmental targets, tesla brought the world's major car manufacturers to invest in similar technology and avoid being left behind.

but according to several industry analysts, electric was not the singular way to go, if only because of the time required to charge a depleted battery. many felt that investment would be better placed on hydrogen fuel-cell technology; the only by-product from this means of motive force is water, while the time taken to refuel is comparable to that of petrol and diesel. however, the time required to bring hydrogen to the level achieved by tesla's electric revolution, would have likely left those favouring such a future to lose out to musk's company in the short-term.

this situation is, ironically, highlighted in a current tv advert from one of the principal energy suppliers. the voice-over states that electricity is becoming of greater importance to human civilisation as more and more of our reputed needs are powered in this manner. according to some reports, the recent serious nationwide power outage that affected spain and portugal was at the behest of renewable energy. while solar and wind are now dominant, critics have argued that the system lacks the flexibility, backup and storage needed to manage shocks. at present, it's easy to remain smug while sniggering at the iberian peninsula's reported weakness, but scotland in particular, is rapidly becoming a major source of renewable energy, leading to concerns that the same might afflict the uk and not necessarily in the distant future.

but in truth, the problem appears to be less about the means of electricity generation, and more that the western world is becoming ever more reliant on electrons and wires.

the inventor of the bicycle, still debated, is lost in the mists of the nineteenth century. however at the risk of being parochial and flying the saltire, let's assume that the pedal bicycle was, in fact, invented by kirkpatrick macmillan, a blacksmith resident in dumfries in south west scotland. that being the case, the invention took place in 1839; in another 14 years, we'll be celebrating its 200th anniversary. almost as argumentative a debate could be held over the invention of electronic gearshifting, but for the sake of brevity, let's agree that it was shimano wot did it, and that they did it in 2001 with their nexave c910. that means that of the bicycle's 186 years of existence, it has been sullied by electronica for only 24 of them.

i have heard despondency from a couple of di2 users, whose gear systems failed while riding, reputedly due to pilot error, having forgotten to charge the battery in a timeous manner. those of us who still ride bereft of electronic gearshifting suffer not from such iniquities. but i'm sure i'm not the only one who has neglected to charge the garmin, faced with a blank, grey screen before the ride had ended. and every morning, i come down stairs and immediately plug in my ten year old apple ipod; its age has resulted in a battery that no longer holds a full charge for an appreciable length of time and i need the device at work. apple no longer manufactures the ipod, so i cannot replace it.

but after one hundred and eighty six years of the bicycle, you can still buy steel spokes, ball bearings, gear and brake cables, rubber tyres; you see where i'm going with this? and all this before we take into account the increasingly wireless nature of modern gear systems, the programmability of the shifting method, and the elephant in the room, the e-bike itself. i did point out at the beginning of this monologue that it was moaning on a grand scale; none of this can or will be uninvented; modern commerce, marketing and consumers demand that we have something new to play with every year. and yes, i know this is beginning to become a tired hobby horse, but i often awake at night convinced that the world is heading in the wrong direction.

and i want everyone to know that i remain a conscientious objector.

wednesday 21 may 2025

age limit

at the risk of becoming a cardiological bore, there's a report on the bbc scotland website pointing out that he rate of working-age adults dying from cardiovascular disease has jumped from 60 per 100,000 in 2019 to 68 per 100,000 in 2023, underlining cardiovascular disease as one of the main causes of death and disability in the uk. the article goes on to say that holyrood claims to have provided a record funding settlement to the nhs, following the british heart foundation (bhf) north of the border indicating that this trend will reverse decades of "hard-won progress" that had seen annual deaths from heart attacks reduced by half since the 1960s.

bhf scotland have claimed that apparent reasons for scotland's worsening heart health, include a "lack of meaningful action" to address issues like obesity, despite the upcoming implementation of a framework focused on prevention. it is unclear whether the figures included in the report and cited above include situations such as my own. according to a quote from scottish health minister and islay resident, jenni minto msp, "a key part of this is ensuring that we create an environment which helps people to make suitable choices about their health which are critical to maintaining heart health, including stopping smoking, exercising regularly and eating a balanced diet."

the latter was a state of affairs that initially gave rise to confusion for yours truly, and would surely include the rest of the national peloton. i have never drunk alcohol, never smoked, eat a vegetarian diet, and i imagine that, at my age, walking a mile every morning and cycling up to 160km each weekend would easily cover such advice from jenni. congenital conditions would appear to bypass all of the above. however, exclude such idiosyncracies from the statistics and it seems there is still a great deal of work to be done. and it dawns on me that, contrary to the opinions of many whom i think should perhaps know better, the advent of the e-bike may at least be partially at risk of undermining a healthier future.

though i've not the faintest idea quite how it might be implemented, i do think it might be a wizard idea to impose an age limit when it comes to buying or hiring an electrically powered bicycle. i agree that this might all seem incredibly narcissistic, but while you and i have been (perhaps inadvertently) improving our cardiovascular health over the years, increasing the distance travelled and gearing up for a sprint at the village sign, the nation's burgeoning youth are often taking the easy way out, one that often seems diametrically opposed to the health measures outlined by argyll & bute's member of the scottish parliament. this is not simply a prejudicial contention, but one based on direct observation.

there are two principal bike hirers on islay, one in port ellen, and one in bowmore, close to my daily place of work. the majority of hirers are, apparently, less than half my age, yet despite the port ellen cycle hirer also featuring acoustic bicycles, i have yet to witness anyone aboard such an unpowered version. the more elderly visitor to islay is inclined to have a larger disposable income, thus arriving by car, or hiring locally. those in their twenties and thirties, the very demographic at which the government's campaign is aimed, historically hired acoustic bicycles and physically pedalled their way around the island's distilleries. and though i'd agree there's a certain level of physical wellbeing to be gained from so doing, i believe there's a great deal more to be gained from cycling under one's own steam (so to speak).

thus, while governments can introduce legislation banning those of specific age groups from drinking alcohol, smoking cigarettes or accessing disposable vapes, purchasing or hiring e-bikes is a veritable free-for-all. perhaps if holyrood or westminster were inclined to restrict acquisition or hire to those over forty years of age (with exemptions for health issues), the nhs might be seen to benefit, as might eventually the health of the nation. reactionary though my suggestion may seem, the chances of it reaching escape velocity is, of course, absolutely nil.

that doesn't mean, however, that it's not a valid suggestion.

tuesday 20 may 2025

the powers of persuasion

for reasons that i'm sure you can understand, mrs washingmachinepost is still a tad apprehensive about letting me out to play alone on my bicycle. it's now two and a half months since my heart-attack, and every step of the recovery process has been acquitted with aplomb, though i can but admit this seems to have very little to do with me. my only involvement has been to ensure each baby step is, indeed, a baby step and that i never, at any point, experience any serious discomfort. but couple that with the fact that i make a lousy patient and would do pretty much anything to return to normal, i've more or less done as instructed. or at least, i would have done had there been any instructions in the first place.

aside from it being pointed out i should refrain from cycling for a period of four weeks (i did so for five) and not lift anything heavier than 5kg for the same period of time, the rest i've been making up as i go along.

for mrs washingmachinepost, it's been a much harder journey. she would dearly have loved to ban the bicycles altogether, while rolling me in bubble wrap for the rest of my life. the problem with that, and it's been the case for many other well-wishers, that their advice as to how i should handle the recovery process is based on their own perception of fitness, and not that of someone who has cycled regularly for almost the last 45 years. and despite the consultant's admission that my fitness would undoubtedly hasten the recovery process, not everyone sees it that way. however, providing i have company on each bike ride, mrs twmp rests just a bit easier.

currently i am at the maximum distance i had hoped to reach; debbie's for lunch and back each saturday and sunday; a round trip of 28km. by the end of next month i hope to be able to undertake the first portion of the sunday morning route before heading southwest to debbie's, eventually increasing to the entire ride by the end of summer. i think it helps to have a target in mind. however this past weekend saw a potential hiccup in proceedings due to my now regular sunday morning companion being otherwise occupied. but serendipitously, my son, who has scarcely ridden his bicycle since his daughter was born five years ago, recently sent me a photo of his ibis 'cross bike, cleaned and polished, ready for an opportune bike ride when the opportunity presented itself.

aware of possibly being left to fly solo yesterday morning, i prompted him to join me on the ride to debbie's for coffee and a toastie, thus merging two birds with one stone. not only would i have company, thus keeping mrs washingmachinepost happy, but bring my son back into the velocipedinal realm. however, cognisant of the fact that he hadn't been out for the aforementioned five years, he substantially reduced the distance over which he thought it possible for him to ride; bowmore to bridgend (a ten km round trip). reckoning that to be better than nothing, i agreed and we set off slightly behind the appointed departure time. however, just over half way to bridgend, he realised that cycling was a bit easier than anticipated, deciding there and then to carry on a bit farther, then a bit farther than that, until eventually he stopped en-route, phoned his wife and told her he was just going to cycle all the way to debbie's and that he'd return a bit later than advertised.

as i've implied above, my son used to join us for the sunday bike ride until my grand-daughter was born, so he does have some previous riding experience. but that has been in abeyance for almost exactly five years. yet he managed the 28km round trip with relative ease, backing up my contention that anyone with even minimal fitness could do likewise instead of driving everywhere. as the mighty dave-t told me many years ago "it's not the distance that'll kill you, it's the pace." in other words, if you take your time over any reasonable distance, anything's possible.

the holy grail is finding a way to persuade the naysayers that it's true.

monday 19 may 2025

problem child

since the end of lockdown conditions in 2021/22, the cycling industry has found itself on the receiving end of criticism and economic hardship apparently due to its naivety in expecting a dramatic increase in sales to continue into an infinite horizon. it is still quite common to see youtube videos perpetuating the situation by pointing out, not only the obvious, but other factors that rarely paint the cyle industry in a complimentary light. in most cases, i think the critics are probably quite accurate, with many, self-included, wondering just how they got it so wrong; and it's not always a case of having an honours degree in hindsight.

peloton, for instance benefitted greatly from lockdown conditions when individuals were often confined to exercising within a few metres of their residence for only a matter of hours per week. who wouldn't, under those circumstances, take advantage of an indoor stationary bike linked to all manner of quality exercise programmes to maintain a credible level of health and fitness, while using it as a means to stave of the boredom and anxiety created by the pandemic? quite why senior management at the company thought it likely that sales and memberships would continue unabated when lockdown conditions had been lifted by world governments, is anyone's guess. for the industry at large, faith that the bicycle's day in the sun had finally arrived, with the intention of persisting into the future, now seems greatly misplaced, though the harsh reality of things returning to those of pre-covid was always plain to see when looking without rose-tinted glasses.

however, despite the persistence of the naysayers, it would appear that things are beginning to return to normal (if you count the price of a carbon road bike at £15,000 and above as 'normal'); if we exclude trump's tariff fiasco, manufacturing has returned to its original heights in the far east, shipping containers are more likely to arrive in a timeous manner, and the number of members of the public choosing to buy a bicycle has decreased to the paltry levels to which we (and the industry) have become accustomed. however, it's possible that the industry continues to have a problem, though one of an altogether different hue.

on wednesday last week, i was invited to carry out mechanical checks on bicycles at the local primary school in advance of their owners undertaking bikeability training. by and large, this is an objective exercise that excludes any dithering on my part or, indeed, that of others; the check list asks if certain conditions are being met, and it's often a simple, yes or no answer. however, in reality things are not as clear as they might be, at least some of which is down to the way in which bicycles are designed. for instance, despite having thought that the era of the 'full suspension mountain bike had thankfully passed, one of the children involved cheerfully wheeled an orange and black example for me to check.

though we'll discuss other matters in a moment, it is the nature of such a bicycle that it does not possess what you and i understand as a seat tube, one which extends from the top tube joint to the bottom bracket joint. in order to accommodate the suspended rear triangle, the seat tube in this case, is simply an open-ended tube welded to an awkwardly shaped top tube, one which angles dramataically downwards from the head tube before flattening out on its way to this seat tube.

the very first item on the check list requires that the child have adequate clearance when standing over the top tube (designed, i believe, to prevent any injury to the nether regions if coming off the saddle following an emergency stop). in this case, the bicycle was actually too large for the child, so the clearance was almost non-existent. secondly, the rider is required to demonstrate that he or she can hold the bicycle in a stable, upright position while seated on the saddle, either with one or both feat on the ground. given that this bicycle was too big anyway, that was never going to be achieved, but i figured it might just be possible if the saddle was lowered. unfortunately, the bicycle featured a rear mudguard that was clamped to the seatpost and under which was also affixed a rear reflector.

removing the reflector and shifting the mudguard clamp upwards would, i had surmised, allow the seatpost to be lowered by up to 1.5 or 2 inches. at least, that would have been the case were it not for the seatpost length ensuring that, prior to reaching its lowest position, it bottomed out on the rear suspension spring. short of removing a couple of inches from the bottom of the seatpost, there was no practical means of lowering the saddle any further. it's a situation that could have been taken into account when designing the frame in the first place. it would also help if the manufacturer and/or retailer could make it a great deal clearer as just what size of bicycle fitted what age/size of child.

i get that well-meaning parents are inclined to buy larger bicycles into which they believe their offspring will grow in the next year or two, but accurate advice is often hard to come by, and not helped by a design which restricts adjustment.

a second point of concern surrounds the pedals. i agree wholeheartedly that bicycles ought to be assembled by those competent to do so, but that sort of thing, particularly on an island bereft of a bike shop, is the subject of dreams. on the selfsame checklist, ensuring the pedals are correctly affixed is high on the agenda, and in the majority of cases, it was not of concern. however, one bicycle featured pedals that had not been properly screwed into the cranks, with a centimetre of threads still visible. to add insult to injury, the left pedal appeared not to have been fitted straight, leading me to wonder whether the assembler had been unaware that a left pedal features a left-hand thread; i harbour suspicions that the pedals were in the wrong cranks and had been incorrectly forced into place. with no pedal spanner, i was unable to check, but i could see no marks on either pedal indicating which was which.

there are definitely manufacturers who clearly mark each pedal, but there are also those who don't, and it's definitely not common knowledge that each pedal features differing threads on the axles. many years ago, i came across a bicycle that had been assembled by grandad; unable to get the pedals to fit, he'd jammed them in and welded them in place (melting part of a plastic pedal). the left pedal was fitted squint.

it's all very well printing on the top of the box, in large, bold lettering, that the bicycle ought to be assembled by qualified personnel, but contingency information ought also to be included on the basis that qualified personnel might not be available, particularly in respect of mail order sales. and when stating that the assembler ought to be 'qualified', just what does that mean? i once had cause to remedy the assembling of a child's bike by a father who, it transpired, was a senior engineer at one of the island's distilleries.

based on many years of observation, i think there are several corners of the industry that ought best reprise their outlook on real world conditions.

image: park tool

sunday 18 may 2025

rule of thumb

i am of an age where i started riding a road bike with downtube gear levers, and not levers that were indexed. as was pointed out not so very long ago, never mind indexing, there are contemporary riders who have never experienced a road bike with anything other than electronic gear changing. for those confused by the term, indexing, i should perhaps point out that, certainly prior to the late 1980s, gears were changed by the rider based on experience. shifting up or down the block to which freewheels and later, casssettes were once referred, was a matter of 'feel', something at which most of us became highly adept. shimano's experience with fishing reels led them to implement indexed gears, whereby each click of the lever pushed or pulled a specific length of cable that would ensure a perfect shift each time, with no need to learn 'on the job'.

early indexed system from campagnolo, shimano and suntour (sram did not exist in the 1980s) also featured the ability to be switched into 'friction mode', should some unfortunate happenstance befall either of the two derailleurs. however, after a couple of years, it was decided that this option was surplus to requirements and summarily dropped by all concerned. so if any of your elders and betters refer to indexing, now you'll know to that which they allude.

but, as we are all well aware, the vast majority of road bikes built this century are bereft of downtube levers, gearchanging duties having been apportioned to the brake levers. by and large, the present day big three (campagnolo, shimano and sram) offer differing methods of gear selection, quite probably every bit as much at the behest of patent law as the notion that their own means of shifting is better than that of their competitors. i am, and always have been, invested in campagnolo's method, though not exclusively; sometimes you have to ride that which you are given. my reasons for the italian option is the association of a different lever for each action. on my campagnolo record twelve-speed groupset, the brake lever actuates only the brakes; the small flip lever sited behind the brake lever allows me to shift the chain to a larger sprocket, while the thumbshifter on the inward facing side of the brake hood, offers to select one of a smaller diameter.

though shimano aficionados will scoff (as they have every right to do), i have ridden japanese equipped bicycles on which i applied the front brake, while attempting to upshift on the cassette. yes, familiarity would undoubtedly have bred content, but that would have been unnecessary from day one on a campagnolo-equipped bicycle. and i'm almost too embarrassed to admit that despite having owned a sram double-tap equipped bicycle for almost eight years, it's only in the last year that i have finally come to terms with their system, and been able to effect consistent gear changes. the worst part is that i know i'm not alone.

however, despite vicenza having featured the inward thumbshifter on their brake lever hoods since they first moved from downtube shifters, on release of the super-record wireless groupset, for reasons best known to the idiosyncracies of italy, the thumbshifter, (physically inert though it may have become) was replaced by a second 'button' on the small flip lever, thus stepping away from their long-held philosophy of one lever per required action. to make matters worse, the introduction of super-record wireless featured what appeared to be a hastily concocted excuse as to why the beloved thumbshifter had to go.

however, all may not be lost.

campagnolo sponsor only one world tour team in 2025 (cofidis), which began the season with their look bicycles outfitted with the aforementioned super-record wireless. persistent rumours have contended that vicenza, having developed the thirteen-speed ekar gravel groupset and its necessitous new freehub demanded by the extra gear, would very soon bring that extra gear to the road; according to reports from the giro d'italia, currently underway, cofidis have indeed been seen riding thirteen-speed super-record wireless and with thumbshifters on the brake hoods. though it would be succour to the brave to be able to celebrate the thumbshifter's return, it has also been surmised that the cofidis bikes are sporting earlier versions of campagnolo eps brake levers modified to work with thirteen gears.

perhaps that is true, but even if proved to be correct, that would surely imply that campagnolo's contracted riders are dissatisfied with the standard version and have demanded the more pragmatic and user-friendly predecessor. in which case, does it not seem likely that vicenza might have acceded to the riders' demands and will thus modify the final sales version? despite the fact that i have no truck with electronica, and could never afford super-record wireless in any case, i fervently hope that the reports are accurate, and that the thumbshifter has returned to fight another day, even if it will demonstrably make not one iota of difference to yours truly, or many, many others.

saturday 17 may 2025

do we need another?

in the early 1990s, the back pages of the comic were filled with multi-page advertising from retailers, the names of which will likely mean nothing at all to contemporary velocipedinists. bentleys of leeds, deesside cycles, parker international are but three of those who took advertising space when cycling weekly was truly the bible; to be found without a copy lying about the house risked ex-communication from the peloton. deesside cycles was wound up in 2011 and parker international was closed in 2013, after the owners opted to retire. unfortunately, i have no idea what happened to mel bentley, and though i never met him personally, he was instrumental in my attempts to sell bicycles and components on islay in the 1990s.

deesside cycles had a wholesale partner business (velosave) who were happy to sell fledgling businesses such as mine items like tubulars or campagnolo components. the big problem was that their prices, plus vat and carriage brought them more or less to the prices they advertised in the deesside cycles adverts in the comic. if i added a profit margin, there was no way i could compete. mel bentley had a very simple economic policy, one that excluded the sale of bicycles due to the minimal profit margin to be achieved if sticking to the manufacturer's retails price. mel had calculated the minimum profit required to cover the cost of his shop lease and to pay himself a living wage. anything that undermined this magical figure he refused to sell. however, he was happy to sell me all manner of components, helmets, jerseys and the like for the selfsame price he paid for the goods. believe me, that really helped.

it will, however, not surprise you to learn that there was very little demand in this tiny slice of the hebrides for the sort of items you and i take for granted. in a vain and expensive attempt to prove otherwise, i purchased suspension forks, excess stock frames and jewel-like campagnolo components that no-one could pronounce, let alone were aware of where to affix them on a bicycle. and though it is and was apparently quite acceptable to shop in the local averagemarket clad in a soccer shirt with a name that wasn't yours on the back, apparently the same could not be said for cycle jerseys. in retrospect, that was probably due to the loose fit beloved of overweight football fans compared to the spray-on nature of cycle jerseys and bibshorts. but it might also have been the obscurity of the sponsors on a cycle jersey, combined with the fact that you could almost see through the fabric.

however, for the aspiring pelotonese, poor quality replica jerseys were pretty much all that was available, particularly relevant to those of us who had yet to come to terms with the inherent cost of becoming a cyclist.

in respect of cycle clothing, however, matters improved dramatically in the early years of the noughties, with a veritable explosion of cycling apparel purveyors, adopting hitherto unknown fabrics and colours, finally freeing us from the world of the replica, unless it happened to be a santini manufactured vintage jersey from andy and mick at prendas ciclismo. it was now possible to dispense with the 'refugee from the peloton' look, in favour of jerseys, jackets, bibs etc that hardly looked out of place in the coffee shop, conferring a look that made us appear as regular members of society, even when seen bereft of velocipede

it never quite stretched to supermarket shopping, but there are natural limts to everything.

however, such was the desire to clamber aboard the bandwagon, that everybody and his favourite uncle appeared to be opening a cycle clothing empire, at least, until they weren't. you could almost have forgotten that cycling was a niche activity/sport, with a following that would probably struggle to fill a football stadium. in other words, there was hardly an endless market for cycle clothing, especially when a great deal of it looked very much like the next one.

as is common in many strains of commercial life, there followed a slimming down of the industry; with the popping of the bradley bubble, not only were there too many similar garments, but fewer and fewer customers. and if the early adopters were producing excellent quality, that which you already owned was still more than serviceable, diminishing any need to acquire new. (i have a sportwool jersey that i purchased in 2005, which still fits and looks as if it came out the packet at the weekend). in fact, just to prove the veracity of this contention, i wore it at the weekend. but even after the alleged pruning of apparel suppliers, there are probably still more producers than the market can support, which surely calls into question the logic of starting yet another?

the strangest part is that the founders of the oddly-named noove have been here before. founders of la passione, whom you would think would know better, have created this new company intent on "drawing on experience and the lessons learned from an industry drowning in excess stock." the intention, at present, is simply to offer jerseys, bibshorts, baselayers and socks; only the essentials. but that still beggars the question, 'why?'

i can think of several cycling apparel providers of whose products i am already well aware, the quality, price and fit of which is a known quantity, and already featuring jerseys, bibshorts, baselayers and socks. or am i missing something somewhere?

thursday 15 may 2025

expansion

much of what follows will likely raise the hackles of any competent shop mechanic, if only because it demonstrates a feeble lack of knowledge on behalf of yours truly when it comes to the ins and outs of hydraulic disc brakes. however, as someone who likes to think they have a reasonable grasp of velocipedinal technicalities, and has spent a reasonable period, pre-discs, servicing bicycles, if it looks like it's a problem for me, it's more than lilkely that i'm not alone. actually, i know that i'm not, for one of my sunday morning colleagues is suffering precisely the same as am i, and neither of us have much of a clue as to what we can do about it.

it's possible that many others reading the following will begin nodding their heads in agreement at certain points.

i have spent far more years riding rim brakes than the nine years i have had the opportunity of riding sram hydraulic discs. the former are the very epitome of simplicity, with all the working parts on clear view, and no need for a degree in engineering to learn just how they function. even the pads are clearly visible, making it a no brainer to decide when they need replacing. even today, i'm a tad unclear as quite how to gauge when my disc pads are almost worn out. at present, i replace based on the time factor as in, "the current disc pads have been in place for just over a year, so maybe i need new ones." i've no doubt there is a more scientific means of doing so, but i don't actually know what it is.

that, however, i can live with; it might be a contentious issue, but one that's fairly easily remedied. the problem that has persisted over the last couple of months relates to the hydraulic fluid. this first came to light in 2019 as i took the ferry from islay to kennacraig, followed by a subsequent sailing from claonaig to lochranza on the isle of arran, the aim of which was to play at arran distillery's whisky festival. the road leading from kennacraig to claonaig is a mere 8km, but the first two of those kilometres are 14% uphill. unfortunately, my disc-equipped bicycle had been tied up in unrelenting sun, on the open portion of the islay ferry's car deck. this had expanded the hydraulic fluid, the end result of which was my having to wheel the bicycle up the majority of that 14% incline because the brakes had effectivley jammed in the 'on' position.

matters did not become any easier when awaiting the arrival of the lochranza ferry. my garmin suggested temperatures in the 30s, but this time i was able to store the bicycle out of direct sunlight, easing the problem of cycling through the village of lochranza. but now, every sunny day, despite the inevitable pleasantly cooling wind, if i leave my bicycle in the rack outside debbie's, on my return, the brakes drag while emitting a loud squealing sound in the process. i have twice loosened the bleed screw to allow a small amount of hydraulic fluid to escape in the hope of easing the problem, but this is beset with the possibility that, in considerably cooler winter temperatures, there may be insufficient fluid to operate the brakes safely. so far that remains only a fear; in practice the brakes remain every bit as effective as you'd hope.

my question would be: assuming the brakes were correctly set when the bicycle was new, surely even when replacing the pads with the factory recommended replacements, there should be no appreciable difference? yet, the fact remains that there is a demonstrable problem with which i am mechanically (or hydraulically) unqualified to deal. and unlike many a mainland location, there is no nearby bicycle shop into which i can deposit the bicycle for professional apparaisal. as mentioned above, another member of the sunday peloton is experiencing exactly the same symptoms on his (also) sram equipped bicycle. assuming, however, we both place our bicycles in the shade while supping froth, the problem is minimal, and when in motion, the worst is usually just an irritating sequence of squeals.

youtube is an excellent source of instructional material describing how to bleed, drain or replace hydraulic fluid, assuming you possess the appropriate tools and parts. what is manifestly missing is the confidence to carry out this process without supervision or prior experience. i doubt that the two of us are the only cyclists to suffer this iniquity, but an ever growing part of me yearns for the efficient simplicity of rim brakes, particularly when my style of riding comes nowhere close to needing hydraulics to stop.

to make matters worse, i don't believe the rarely supplied owner's manual would have been of much use either. complexity has become the velocipedinist's bête noir.

wednesday 14 may 2025

gravel rides cairngorms & perthshire; 15 gravel bike adventures in the heart of scotland - markus stitz. vertebrate publishing paperback. 122pp illus. £15.95

a matter of a few days past, i was moved to pen a monologue on the fashionistas who seem to have adopted the gravel bike as their contemporary plaything. in truth, i blame the uci for creating a gravel world championship, attracting the likes of mathieu van der poel to the podium, a man whose gravellous encounters seem always to result in his finishing with a pristine white world championship jersey. the connotations of gravel, in similar fashion to that of the mountain bike, for me at least, conjures images considerably less than pristine, punctuated only by the incongruity of the occasionally attendant bikepacking bags.

so while the aesthetes deliberate over which wireless groupset to affix to their sveltitude (not sure if that's a real word), real gravel cyclists like edinburgh-based markus stitz, are inadvertently revealing the superficiality of the fashionable end of the genre. this is the third of markus stitz' forays into print, having previously penned bikepacking scotland, and edited great british gravel rides. to that extent, he has devoted his career to demonstrating the joys of riding on what passes for gravel in the uk. he's also an accomplished film-maker, an example of which will be shown at islay's machrie hotel in august this year at the islay book festival. viewing of the film will follow an interview with markus by yours truly. if you find yourself in the neighbourhood on the last weekend of august, make the effort to join us. there's even a bike ride with markus along the three distilleries path near port ellen, leading from laphroaig distillery, past lagavulin distillery, all the way to ardbeg.

however, this time round, markus has concentrated his skills on scotland's eastern side, taking in the cairngorm national park and perthshire. my targeted cynicism aimed at a distinct section of the gravel world harbours suspicions that many, while keen entrants in carefully curated gravel events, remain apart from the more rustic determination of those who may adhere to the epithet 'ride until you no longer recognise your surroundings'. taken literally, that may seem a recipe for disaster, particularly if venturing forth into the cairngorms, but, armed with this book in particular, a lack of topographical recognition might not be the concern it at first seems.

i am very much in favour of markus' philosophy that the best gravel bike for you is the one you already own. so even if that's an elderly, yet mechanically sound bicycle with capable tyres you can undoubtedly have as much fun as those on the state-of-the-art. it should go without saying, but markus says it anyway, that whatever bike you have chosen for your gravellating experience, ought to be capable of lasting until the end without recourse to calling out mountain rescue.

the book is helpfully divided into sections, commencing with easy routes, encompassing four short excursions, the shortest of which is a mere 14.7km. compare this with the challenging routes, where the longest exceeds 77km. it strikes me that the straightforward routes section will be the most thumbed. and thumbed is not a euphemism; this compact and bijou volume comfortable fits in a jersey pocket, though it may prove more practical if placed under the clear window of a handlebar bag. all the routes are clearly marked on ordnance survey maps, all downloadable as gpx files. advice from mountain rescue would advise that you also carry suitable scale paper maps; the cairngorms are not necessarily renowned for wall to wall phone coverage.

each ride is copiously annotated, with turn by turn directions, a route profile, the aforementioned maps, quality photographs, and food and bike stops. there's a decent list of bike shops, accommodation and local transportation options in the index at the back of the book. however, markus has had the good sense to keep it brief and resist the temptation to remove any possibility of discovery by eager participants.

whichever strain of the gravel genre you find is to your liking, should the wanderlust gene infiltrate, i would prejudicially suggest that scotland is the best part of the united kingdom in which to satisfy that velocipedinal inquisitiveness. but don't do it without this book.

gravel rides cairngorms & perthshire

tuesday 13 may 2025