thewashingmachinepost




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levelling up

mvdp

when i was a teenager, i was temporarily swept along with my school companions to indulge in, if memory serves correctly, two games of golf. the first was over the seafield course at belleisle in ayr, where the first hole drove off over a small burn, from the tee several feet above. i'd be fibbing if i said that i recall just how many golf balls i was able to drive into the water, before, finally, one of them made it to the other side. by the time we reached the ninth hole, i had taken well over 100 strokes for a course with a par in the low sixties. at that point, i had already lost interest and begun making sandcastles in the bunkers, while the others continued with their game.

my second attempt began on troon's fullerton course, but by the third hole, i really couldn't care less, and had started telling other golfers that their golf caddies had punctures, despite the wheels featuring solid tyres. though i understand the concept of golf, as in the winner is the individual who takes the least number of strokes over eighteen holes, but truthfully, i just don't get the point. my former next door neighbour was once a keen golfer, a man who practised his stroke in the back garden, hitting a plastic golf ball tied to a solid base. during many of those sessions, i would also be in my garden, fettling one or other bicycle, when he'd regale me with tales of the excellent result he'd recorded at the machrie, or, more frequently, how poorly he had played over the same course. according to him, there seemed remarkably little consistency between one day and the next.

however, no matter your skills or ability on the golf links, the sport features a means of equalisation amongst the varying abilities on display. it's a system that does feature in certain cycling events: the handicap system. now, it will scarcely surprise you to learn that i have very little knowledge of golf, predominantly based on the fact that even after all these years, i still cannot see the point. i am, therefore, less than sure of my ground when it comes to explaining how the handicap system is applied, though i'm sure there are any number of members of islay golf club who would be willing to bore me to death on the subject.

for those even less appraised of the sport of golf than yours truly, as i understand it, your personal handicap is subsequently subtracted from your final score, instilling at least a modicum of parity between golfers of differing abilities. therefore, as an example, let's suppose i have a handicap of 25 and i play against a much better golfer with a handicap of ten. were he or she to finish the round with a score of 68. deducting their handicap would result in a final tally of 58. however, if my much poorer golfing skills ended the round with 82, deducting my own handicap of 25, would allow me to win the game with a score of 57, rather than continue to bash my head against a golf bag by continually losing to better players.

even in the game of golf, there has to be some level of encouragement.

for cyclocross fans, this season, which will culminate in the word championships in france next sunday, has seen the brief appearances of former 'cross world champions, wout van aert and mathieu van der poel. the latter has won every race he entered, and usually by substantial margins. at massechelen on saturday, he beat van aert by over a minute, though it should be noted that the belgian began the race from well back on the start grid (placings depend on acquired uci cyclocross results), and experienced at least a couple of crashes during the race. however mvdp rode a flawless race, putting in a powerful lap after watching van aert crash in front of him early in the event.

in sunday's race in hoogerheide, with van aert having ended his 'cross season the day before, van der poel experienced little competition, comfortably outriding second place michael vantourenhout, again, more than one minute in arrears. it's hard to deny that we, as cyclocross fans, are witnessing probably the finest cyclocross rider of his generation, and it's highly impressive to watch the sheer power mathieu has at his command. however, you do have to feel sorry for the riders whose sole sporting endeavour is confined to each year's various trofee series, sportsmen who don't have the option of taking a week or two off to indulge in a road training camp in southern spain, and who are bereft of the luxury of an entire and often lucrative road season ahead of them to pay the bills. wout and mathieu's dropping in to dominate a few 'cross races and mvdp's denting the hopes of dyed-in-the-wool 'crossers at the world championships seems almost like a hobby.

if only there was some way of bringing a smidgeon of equality.

monday 27 january 2025

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resolution

hurricane

as i type this, islay sits at the forefront of storm éowyn, suffering from 130kph winds. so far, mrs washingmachinepost and i hope that none of the tiles have escaped from our roof, but there's already flooding at springbank, effectively cutting off bridgend and ultimately, and possibly more importantly, any means of reaching debbie's. the sea has come over the green at frederick crescent in port ellen, and several houses and shops have flooded. last night and twice this morning, mrs twmp received those government siren warnings about the conditions (slightly pointless in the morning, since a quick glance out the window told us all we needed to know). the schools are all closed, the distilleries are closed, most of the shops in bowmore are closed, and if any have remained open, i seriously doubt there's anyone buying. we've closed the office for the day and i've just received a text informing me that a gust of 145kph was recorded at port ellen. trees are down at ballygrant, effectively cutting off the north of the island, and unsurprisingly, the ferries and the plane have been cancelled for the day.

cycling has found itself a casualty of the weather since the onset of december, the majority of storms, named or otherwise, displaying an uncanny habit of appearing at weekends, usually the only time most of us are off work and with the opportunity to go for a bike ride. the winds are due to decrease slowly from this point onwards, though it would still be a foolish individual who attempted to go anywhere on foot before about 4pm this afternoon. thankfully, the sun has just appeared, which is hopefully the portent of meteorological improvement, and the forecast for saturday is considerably better. however, from the few images i have received, it looks likely that there will be much aplenty debris scattered over the roads, so a double-egg roll at debbie's might be farther away than usual.

originally, i had planned for friday afternoon to be one of bike-fettling, following the unfortunate appearance of an irritating noise which appears to be emanating from the rear hub on the specialized crux. oddly enough, it can be briefly dissipated by the simple act of back pedalling a quarter revolution, which is why i suspect the freehub may be the culprit. however, as i have mentioned on previous occasions, there is so much stuff and bicycles in the bike shed, any fettling has need of taking place outdoors. there's not a cat's chance in hades that i'd risk that today. so now, prior to any short or long expeditions on saturday, i will have to spend a portion of my morning investigating the possible cause of the irritation. add the fact that i have a gig on saturday evening, and that effectively curtails the time i have available to effect repair.

however, despite the weather's predilection for inclemency, my new year's resolution (if i actually made any in the first place), is to take every available opportunity to ride my bike despite what the weather might bring. yes, for many, weather such as we are experiencing right this minute, may well be sufficient to persuade others that zwift or rouvy don't seem quite so bad after all. pig-headed as i am, i have no intention of turning to the dark-side. between now and march, thee's every likelihood that we'll be on the receiving end of more weather such as this, though hopefully with slightly lower windspeeds. in fact, weather such as this, is not confined to the winter months.

several years ago, i attended jura distillery's open day on the last thursday in may. the crew on the ferry advised that i should return before 1pm as the combination of increased winds and tide swll would effectively prevent them sailing. only in need of a few photos, i cycled to craighouse, snapped all the images i required, and pedalled back to feolin for the ferry at 11:30am. unfortunately, the wind had increased far quicker than anyone had expected, and the ferry remained stubbornly berthed on the islay side of the sound. thankfully, i had taken a packed lunch for the day, so starvation was not on the menu, however, i cannot deny that i was trying to think of everyone i knew on jura in case i'd to stay overnight. the boat did make one attempt around 2pm, but was unable to berth and had to return to port askaig pier, with waves flying clear over the car deck. at 3:30pm, they made another attempt which this time, proved successful, and i lived to tell the tale.

but, if you choose to live on an island that borders the north atlantic, as mrs washingmachinepost and i have done, it seems only fair that you accept your meteorological fate. hundreds, if not thousands of cyclists travel each year to the alps, the pyrenees, the dolomites and the appennines to experience the joy of running themselves into the ground while attempting to summit. islay is relatively flat; all the bumpy bits are round the outside, inaccessible by road, so the only claim to fame that exists this far from scotland, is the opportunity to test your mettle against galeforce winds. according to the saffir-simpson hurricane wind scale, anything above 120kph can be classed as hurricane force winds; there's no way anyone in their right mind would attempt to ride a bicycle in those conditions, but there's nothing to stop you trying when they drop below 80kph.

there was no post yesterday because the weather as described above, took out the power several times along with any stable internet access.

saturday 25 january 2025

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the way we were

ordinary

there have been many moments in thewashingmachinepost's lengthy career where my luddite tendencies have crept in to allow me to take pot shots at cycling's incessant technological development, a process that seems to know no bounds, driven as it often is by the industry's marketing departments, desperate for something new to peddle (pun intended), lest someone in management realise that the department headcount outstrips every other. but, of course, it's not only the cycle industry that suffers from an almost permanent need for new stuff; it would fill way too many pixels to list those in the same boat, but since i have one foot with a cleat and one foot with a sense of rhythm, it is perhaps no surprise that i can see occasional parallels.

a recent youtube video from one of the world's foremost drum manufacturers not only proves my point, but, had it been included in a remix of the spinal tap movie, believe me, it would have been less than unseemly.

the first notable drummer to play two bass drums was contemporary of buddy rich and gene krupa, the great louie bellson. with the dawn of rock 'n' roll, the use of two bass drums was found not only to be suitably bombastic, but visually impressive. there are any number of drummers with a double-bass kit on which there is no pedal attached to the leftmost drum. this is often for the simple reason that the setlist includes no songs in which double-bass beats are truly necessary.

eventually, it dawned on some clever fellow that it might be possible to play a single bass drum with two independent beaters controlled by two separate footboards. these too, are remarkably popular, even amongst those drummers who a) have no need for them and b) are bereft of the ability to play them. i once possessed just such as double-pedal, though in my defence, i purchased it because of a pricing offer that made it only £20 more expensive than a single pedal. after a few years, i realised that, not only were there few opportunities to make good use of it, but, given the style of music in which i was immersed, there were none arriving over the horizon.

so i sold it.

for those uninvolved and probably uninterested in the world of double-pedals, the mechanism containing the two individual beaters is clamped to the bass drum hoop, while a remote pedal, joined to the above by means of an adjustable rod, sits adjacent to the hi-hat pedal. the video referred to above presented a new, all singing, all dancing connecting rod, featuring several sets of cartridge bearings at the pivots, reputedly removing any play from the setup and reputedly improving the speed attainable by those who find it necessary to play their bass drum parts with ferocious velocity.

what seems to have been forgotten in the rush to bring this wholly unnecessary aftermarket component to our attention (and, if the comments are to be believed, compete with two other pedals who adopted this technology years ago) is that, despite what others might say, drummers are every bit as involved in playing music as the other guys in the band. and just as there is in the velocipedinal world, a proportion of drummers are invested in the vintage market, celebrating the percussive values of the last century, despite the availability of state-of-the-art modern drums and equipment. i don't doubt that present day bicycles are of a far better quality than many of those from yesteryear, but as we are constantly reminded, not everyone harbours desires of competing in the world tour. a member of the sunday peloton rides an aluminium-framed bicycle that still features down-tube gear levers, yet he's still quicker than most of us.

and at the risk of being superficial, many of the reputedly fastest machinery available at a bike shop near you, verges on the hideous, straying deep into design choices for the sake of it, as opposed to sound engineering principles. i might cite in evidence, the endless faffing with the means of holding the seatpost in place (always assuming there's an actual seatpost in the first place). i'm often convinced that the latter is as a diversion away from fastening the saddle to the seatpost, a problem solved by campagnolo decades ago. the seatpost on my ritchey logic is held in place by a simple threaded bolt at the juncture between the seat tube and seatstays. the problem engendered by modern-day frames is the moving of the stays half-way down the seat tube.

as one door closes...

you will perhaps be either impressed or confounded by the admission that i have made inroads into the world of vintage in my otherwise thoroughly modern drumset, with the purchase of a genuine calfskin snare drum head. though i have read all the horror stories of the humidity and temperature troubles that will inevitably occur, despite having been a dummer for well over 50 years, i have only ever played plastic. i'll try never to regale you with tales of how it all works out.

thursday 23 january 2025

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immersion heater

total immersion

situated about 2km north from the centre of bowmore village, is ionad chaluim chille ile, also referred to as the gaelic college, the gaelic centre, or even the columba centre. those descriptions are effectively interchangeable; anyone on the island will know to what you refer no matter which option you choose. originally built as a fever hospital, hence its semi-distant position away from islay's capital city, it was laterally used, in the early 1990s, as a storage facility for the local council. several years of construction produced a far more attractive building, based on the original, but including more internal space, photovoltaic roof tiles (now well past their sell-by date) and an ideal location looking across loch indaal.

though originally opened as an actual college operated under the auspices of skye's sabhal mòr ostaig for a year or two, it was possible to graduate with a degree in the gaelic language. unfortunately, despite substantial funding from holyrood, the ostensibly academic facility has had its educational offerings watered down, to the point where gaelic conversation classes are almost all that are on offer. the once popular children's gaelic nursery is no more. it currently sports a popular restaurant/café and is frequently used as a concert venue, particularly by the islay jazz festival and cantilena classical music festival. academia, however, has seemingly passed it by.

yet the latter state of affairs appears not to have had any serious effect on the government funding pouring in through the front door. though it is outwith my remit to offer comment, last summer it opened a new and expensively built immersive centre, offering ipads on which software can overlay differing layers of information on a central map of the island. around the walls is a series of information panels relating to the history of gaelic on islay, ending in a room in which it is possible to slouch on a leather sofa, while viewing videos of island life. at the back of this facility lies a door leading to a reputedly state-of-the-art immersive experience, featuring a bespoke film projected onto three of the four walls, accompanied by gaelic narration, translated into english subtitles.

some visitors have experienced dizziness and slight vertigo while sat on the rudimentary bench in front of the immersve display which, i'm led to believe, relies on some of the technology to be found in the las vegas globe. the recent receipt of even more government funding will reputedly allow the centre to build a stand-alone external and even more advanced version within the grounds. irrespective of what i personally think of the provision of such large sums of government money to a facility likely only to be visited once and which displays little evidence of encouraging greater uptake of scotland's reputed national language, there's little denying of the actual immersive quality provided. the final piece in the jigsaw, yet to receive final commissioning, will apparently provide 360 degree interaction.

which, by comparison, is where i have a smidgeon of difficulty comprehending the use of the word 'immersive' when applied to the world of online cycle platforms such as zwift, or rouvy. these considerations were raised upon recent reading of an article on recommended online platforms, smart trainers, and computers or tablets for those in thrall to indoor cycle-training. as far as i can ascertain, those who employ such methods generally do so in front of large flat panel tv screens, or smaller versions of the same thing conjoined to a laptop, or as a standalone digital tablet. though i'm sure the pixelated reproductions are on a parabolic curve leading to accurate reproduction indistinguishable from the real thing, staring at even a very large flat panel television screen can scarcely be described as 'immersive', no matter which way you view it. even a look askance at the coffee cup sat on the sideboard alongside, will disavow even the most invested practitioner of the fallacy that he or she is really ascending alpe d'huez or the ventoux.

essentially, therefore, when zwift invites you to "jump into immersive worlds", it might be telling fibs.

wednesday 22 january 2025

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dis-connected

autonomous vehicles

i live in one of a row of five terraced houses, situated on what was intended to be a pedestrianised area, connected by a series of footpaths. sadly, the latter are wide enough to accommodate sizeable motor vehicles, and feature several wider areas at each end to allow emergency vehciles to turn, should they have to attend any of the houses contained within. unfortunately, due to this ease of motorised access, several residents use these areas as car parks, effectively undermining their original purpose, and creating a less than clear distinction between who actually has priority on those paths. this arrangement, however, has now resulted in a potential problem not foreseen when the houses were originally built in the mid 1960s.

my son is a qualified electrician with his own business, and his expertise has led him to point out that, due to the means by which electrical power is distributed to the houses, were all five households in the row in which i live to acquire electric cars and plug them in overnight to recharge, there are convincing reasons to expect all the wiring to melt. there is very little likelihood of my ever owning or driving an electric car, but already one household features a hybrid electric car in its driveway, and assuming the government's targets on ev sales begins to take a foothold, it seems quite likely that there will be more.

but currently (pun intended), only one household has converted what was once a grassy front garden into a driveway for their plug-in hybrid. in the unlikely situation that all others follow suit (for all sorts of logistical reasons), this means that those new elecetric vehicles have no option but to find themselves parked in the adjacent car park. though already denied, if we take my own residence as an example, that would entail an extremely long cable running from the house to the car, without any guarantees that the nearest parking space would be available on a daily basis. and were someone to carelessly trip over said cable on a dark morning or evening, who would be held responsible?

the same caveat would apply to those living in main street, shore street and the one side of high street that offers no off-road parking. there is then the portent of an endless number of electrical cables criss-crossing the pavement to charge a nose-to-tail stretch of electric vehicles. and bowmore is hardly the sole example of such a potential inequity. there is of course, the possibility that the internal combustion engine might have a far longer life-expectancy than either westminster or holyrood had in mind, as news arrives to say that, for 2024, no car manufacturers other than suzuki, are likely to face fines for failing to attain government manufacturing targets. and even suzuki can avoid the potential fines by acquiring credits from other manufacturers.

with sales of electric vehicles reputedly on the decline, the association of motor manufacturers is currently petitioning the government to adjust their demands, if only to allow the association's members to avoid these punitive fines. we should, however, thank our lucky stars that current government demands are applicable only to electric vehicles and not augmented by legislation that might include so-called autonomous vehicles, more commonly referred to as self-driving-cars. should that ultimately become a prospect on the legislative horizon, it could be considered something of a double-whammy; no sane car manufacturer is going to spend its research and development funds on applying autonomy to other than an electric vehicle. this, at worst, could result in a large number of very fast, heavy cars driving under their own cognisance.

for the time being, we can satisfy ourselves that many of the various experiments involving self-driving vehicles, have been highly restrictive, or ultimately suffered from a failure to achieve their objectives. but of all the ignominies that could befall an all-electric, autonomous vehicle, one that the majority of us might not have considered, has been proposed by a gathering of science fiction writers, assembled at the behest of 'resilience beyond observed capabilities'. while this might at first, seem a tad far-fetched, across the pond it is apparently not at all unusual for government departments to seek the advice of sci-fi practitioners, on the basis that they have a peculiar knack of visualising futures most of us would consider highly unrealistic.

iot, or the internet of things, foresees a day when internet and communications technology will unite seemingly disparate facets of contemporary life, in ways we can only imagine at present. examples already abound, even within the velocipedinal realm. lighting supremos, see sense offer bicycle lights that can communicate with a central point, highlighting any potential obstacles to commuting traffic, and disseminating that information to other see sense users in real-time. a supercharged version of similar technology has also been incorporated into several versions of self-driving cars, aiding and abetting each other to be aware not only of traffic hold-ups but of each other's location. though it may seem like science-fiction to suggest, if all electric vehicles are interconnected, there will also exist an extreme likelihood that a problem afflicting one, could easily afflict its peers.

such as an extreme catastrophic, centralised failure that trapped everyone inside their autonomous electric vehicles. and however far-fetched that might seem in 2025, rest assured that it can never happen to cyclists.

providing one more reason to be unbearably smug.

tuesday 21 january 2025

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