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green oil massive brush
many moons ago, i was sent a cyclocross jacket for review, from a range of clothing designed by a once prominent member of the british cyclocross fraternity. at the time, being less than familiar with the nooks and cranies of that particular sporting endeavour, i was led to query the wisdom of producing an all-white jacket for wear in a sport that luxuriates in susbtantial quantities of mud. your reasoning would probably have been remarkably similar to my own; not only is thibau nys regularly to be seen with a brown stripe up the back of his predominantly white european champion's skinsuit, but also british champion, cameron mason, whose white outfit is interrupted only by blue and red hoops around the middle. and don't get me started on mathieu van der poel's all-white, world champion's ensemble.
for the very reasons that we all love cyclocross and for the selfsame reasoning that allows riders to change bike up to twice in one muddy lap, it is a particularly onerous sport when it comes to keeping stuff clean. one can only wonder why the soap manufacturers that constantly advise to 'keep away from children' are not the principal sponsors of at least one cyclocross team or individual. surely the marketing rewards would justify the comparatively minimal outlay? pressure-washer manufacturers karcher appear at least to have seen the light that remains obscured to the likes of persil, daz and fairy, though to be truthful, which 'cross rider would be keen on competing with the word 'fairy' emblazoned upon his or her skinsuit?
to briefly return to the review jacket mentioned in my opening gambit, it transpires that it was intended purely for use on the startline, being the very garment worn by our heroes prior to hearing the starter's pistol. for those who are regular fans of the sport, it's the jackets removed at the last minute and handed to mechanics, wives or girlfriends before battle commences. thus, in theory at least, jackets that would never catch sight of any mud (unless accidentally dropped).
i'm sure that, perhaps even as a result of the substantial number of karcher banners surrounding the pit area, those invested in actually racing cyclocross will possess their very own pressure washer, and possibly even the enthusiastic few domiciled in agricultural regions such as my own, in a vain attempt to keep the gaggle of velocipedes presentably clean following the sunday ride. i cannot deny that i have considered the option on more than one occasion, but so far i remain pressure free, a tautology clear to all who may have seen my bicycles. we are not blessed with one of those external taps which would allow the washer to be kept charged with h2o, and i have been advised against those which feature a refillable tank, though for what reasons i have been unable to ascertain.
however, though undoubtedly less forceful in action, but inimitably kinder to wheel and bottom bracket bearings, green oil's massive brush comes a close second. and massive it certainly is, at marginally under half a metre in length and sporting a large section (7cm) of soft(ish) bristles, perfect for eeking out grime from those hard-to-get-at regions of the average, and not-so-average bicycle. not only can those bristles scrub between the rear tyre and the seat tube, but they are of a constitution that does no harm to even the most sophisticated of paint schemes, whether on carbon, steel or aluminium. it can be used on cassettes, derailleurs, chainrings, chains, brake calipers, the rear of the fork crown, tyre sidewalls and tread; in fact, every part of the bicycle that presumes to accumulate grime.
and just like its big brother, the pressure washer, there's no need to bend down to reach even the parts closest to the ground. admittedly, i scrubbed two of my bicycles affixed to a workstand, but the length of the handle makes the massive brush every bit as pragmatic when the cycle is sitting on the ground.
of course, having scrubbed the cassette and chain within a millimetre of their constitution, you'll then need to lubricate the links, in this case, with a bottle of green oil, the container for which is now manufactured from ocean prevented plastics diverted from rivers in asia and heading to the open sea. whether you like it or not, the bicycle is an environmentally sound means of transport, so it well behoves us to continue this meme by keeping it in tip top condition with synthetic chain lubricant that obviates the use of fossil fuels.
massive.
green oil's massive brush is available direct from the website at a cost of £47.99
sunday 1 december 2024
..........................................................................................................................................................................................................slowly does it
a number of years ago, british cycle retailer, ribble produced what was said to be at the time, the most aero road bike available (though it was them who said it). i am not an engineer of any type, let alone someone who understands the nooks and crannies of aerodynamics, but i assume that such matters are taken care of by computational fluid dynamics, rounded off nicely with a few hours in a wind tunnel secreted at a clandestine location. however, while i comprehend the logic of presenting the narrowest of profiles to the airflow, in order to minimise unwarranted drag, the means by which this is achieved has me somewhat confuddled. adhering to the basic assumption outlined above, ribble's aero frame, in common with its peers, featured almost flat, narrow tubes, retaining the necessary degree of strength while leaving very little in the way of resistance to the strongest of headwinds.
my incomprehension, however, rests with the depth of those flattened tubes and their potential to act as a sail to any errant crosswinds. i have no direct experience of aero frames (ribble ignored my requests for a review model), but i do have adequate experience with deep carbon rimmed wheels from a number of manufacturers, including lightweight and campagnolo. obviously there is a certain difference created by the not insignificant fact that wheels rotate; just how much of a difference that makes, i might refer my honourable reader to the previous admission cocnerning my total lack of engineering experience.
crosswinds i have aplenty, offering a real world situation with which to cope on a bike, as opposed to theoretical computer simulations, or actual winds generated in a wind tunnel. my long-held contention has always been that the latter rarely seem to include situations where the wind derives at 90 degrees to the direction of travel. believe me, that's a real thing. in fact, it's so much of a real thing, that it persuaded me to refrain from using any brand of deep-rimmed carbon wheels, in favour of a pair of proper wheels, built 32 spoke three-cross onto mavic open pro rims. on these, i can ride in anything that promises not to blow me off the bike. i have ridden in a 100kph 90 degree crosswind which was not fun at all, and certainly not originally intended. therefore, i would estimate that any direct crosswind greater than 85kph is probably not advisable.
i have ridden a pair of campagnolo bora wto carbon wheels in crosswinds of almost 70kph, but i cannot deny it was somewhat of a struggle to keep the bike in a straight line. there have been several hints in recent times, that aero was a one-time fad that has had its day, and the industry has moved on to the next fashionable trend (aero gravel?). either way there does still seem to be a requirement for increased speed, with each successive model claiming an improvement over the previous year's model. obviously enough, that is going to be a relatively short-lived quest for a human powered pedal bicycle if retaining the current format. our own personal inefficiencies will soon see to that.
general director of le tour de france, christian prudhomme, has posited that ever-increasing speeds seen at le tour and other world tour events, is/has creating/created a major problem. improved aerodynamics (see above), drastically improved braking and the use of electronics may actually be achieving that which afflicts today's motorist. cars from yesteryear transmitted virtually every sensation from the outside world directly to the driver, where the modern automobile more or less does precisely the opposite, insulating from any iniquities, including a realistic sensation of speed. it's what causes almost wholesale disregard for speed limits, and encouraging a feeling of indestructability, even in the face of surrounding traffic.
the worrying aspect, related to the humble bicyclist, is that he or she overestimates their sense of control. let's face it, if the professionals are struggling to keep up, what chance have we got? granted, few of us will be attempting to increase the amount of carbohydrates we can consume in a given period, or taking a more scientific approach to the sunday ride, but there are always going to be those comparing their speed, cadence and number of watts with the professional classes; any improvement on the latter's behalf is bound to impinge upon our sense of self-worth. and so the treadmill begins again.
original image - epic road rides
thursday 28 november 2024
..........................................................................................................................................................................................................hit the subscribe button
on 30 june 2025, the radio teleswitch service (rts) will be switched off. it's highly likely that, just like yours truly, it's something about which you'd never heard, or, indeed, something about which you've never heard. however, its impending disappearance has implications for a large proportion of the uk population, since it is the somewhat archaic technology that impinges upon the way a large number of electricity meters operate. personally, i once possessed two meters: one recorded my usage of off-peak electricity, while its opposite number took care of the rest. it transpires that the rts signal was the mechanism responsoble for switching between the two meters at pre-arranged intervals, ultimately responsible for switching on my storage heating and hot water heater, and how much i paid each month.
the solution, and there are the inevitable conspiracy theories concerning this situation, was to replace both meters with a single smart meter. the conspiricists maintain that there was no real need to switch off the radio teleswitch service, and that so doing was promulgated in order to force the uk's population to adopt smart meters. the latter, in the majority of cases, continuously send readings to the installing energy provider, doing so by means of a sim card, similar to that featured in every smartphone, technology that could conceivably impinge upon tomorrow's velocipedinal life.
i should make it clear that what follows is entirely at my behest. i am unaware of any cycle component manufacturer actually working on such technology, but it would be a confirmed optimist who would bet against boffins working on the principle even as we speak. of course, it could also be one of those isolated cases where, through my naivety and stupidity, i have actually chanced upon something that i really ought to patent, on the basis that it will earn millions. however, if one of the industry's major players brings something remarkable similar to market, i refuse to accept any of the blame.
unless you're a hermit, or are domiciled in a country bereft of contemporary communications technology, you may already have come across the subscription methodology. mobile phone companies already hold you to ransom via their contracts and often imperious annual charges, while software manufacturers have almost entirely adopted the subscription method to lock its users into regular payments. in the past, the upgrade cycle of the average software programme was reckoned to be about eighteen months, at which point, regular users would fork out a reduced upgrade price to acquire the next version (which almost always contained one killer feature, eminently worth the price of admission).
the rationale behind the subscription model was the immediate availability of new features, while charging a monthly or annual fee. intially, the cost bore some resemblance to the previous upgrade cycle, but purely from personal observation, the price appears to have incrementally crept upwards, until it resembles a money-making scheme. if, at anytime, the payment method is rescinded by the customer, the software stops working - previously, if you failed to upgrade, at least the version you owned would continue working until no longer supported by the computer's operating system. the mechanism behind this relies predominantly on the knowledge and fact that the world's computers are permanently connected to a broadband signal that, unlike the preceding dial-up is always on. thus the software can be directed to check with the manufacturer's payment server to ensure the subscription is up to date, allowing continued use.
as bicycles become more reliant on electrical componentry, you can perhaps envisage the potential espoused benefits for both rider and manufacturer of a similar subscription model. install a sim card in any electronic gear system, and it could make use of the mobile telephone network to communicate with shimano, campagnolo or sram headquarters, allowing any of the above triumvirate to offer their componentry on a subscription basis, for which any non-payment infractions could easily render the componentry unuseable. from the other side of the coin, the money generated by such a subscription system could allow the manufacturer to despatch an upgraded component to registered users as and when available. depending on your requirements, this could either prove highly effective, highly expensive, or perhaps both.
it would, however, provide a guaranteed income for the manufacturer, because, unlike mechanical systems, electronics could be rendered inoperative at will, and also easily firmware upgradeable. all you'd need to do would be to check the box next to allow automatic upgrade on your garmin. and as i write, it dawns on me that the constructors of indoor smart trainers could follow suit.
but fear not. when i rise to power, such practices will be outlawed.
wednesday 27 november 2024
..........................................................................................................................................................................................................welcome to the footure
philosophy is an interesting, if frequently incomprehensible subject for discussion. for instance, buddhism is often categorised as more of a philosophy than a religion, depending, of course, on who you speak to. yet catholicism and the baptist church, though probably differing philosophical views of a single objective, are rarely, if ever branded with the philosophical marque. i would tend to agree that both observations are of academic and therefore philosophical conceern to the majority, but hopefully my presaging the remainder of today's monologue in this manner will highlight its potential incongruities.
the joy, of course, is that we all hold differing points of view, brought about by our individual upbringings, social aspirations, education and interpersonal connections; i'm sure you catch my drift. and depending on those viewpoints, our apprehension of events and concepts to which we are introduced will, by the very definition of 'points of view', differ to a greater or lesser extent. granted, those may be of a superficial nature, but since a large proportion of modern life can arguably be defined as 'superficial', there's a certain logic attached not only to my observation, but to particular aspects of a philosophical approach to life.
however, it would be foolish to deny that there are those who, for whatever reason, are invested in influencing such matters, primarily for their own benefit, but not necessarily to our detriment. for, if we willingly accept that superficiality is endemic in modern society (i might cite the current outward aspects of so-called artificial intelligence), it's quite possible that both subtle and extravagant influences can be readily assimilated as yet another example of superficiality. many are designed to enhance our more traditional means of operation, whether that involves convincing us that here is a more better way to cycle at weekends, or that the latest doohicky is the one piece of the puzzle that has been missing until now.
for the purposes of brevity (a little hebridean humour there), let's call it marketing. boiling the latter to its simplest conclusion, what we have is very much a case of we make these - buy one. obviously that is a very rudimentary description, and, if it ever existed in the first place, it has allegedly moved on by a few degrees in the interim. however, when it comes to the traditional means of a sales pitch, there are undoubtedly limitations as to how far it can go before it becomes necessary to search for alternatives. and that, boys and girls, is remarkably close to where we find ourselves today.
a few months ago, i portrayed the smartphone app imatra in these very pixels, which, aside from sporting a particularly cool name, promised to convert any number of cycled kilometres into digital currency. whether you have any faith in digital currencies that have a habit of dramatically increasing in value before doing precisely the opposite in a very short space of time, is a moot point. however, in this particular case, immunity from financial iniquities would appear perfectly sound, particularly if you were going to cycle those kilometres irrespective of promised financial gain. i have no information on just how profitable this particular venture has proven, but even to a luddite like yours truly, the opportunity for so-called strategic partnerships seems ripe for exploitation.
and though my overview may actually be relatively accurate, the simplicity of its first partnership ought to be pretty straightforward, presenting it to the public at large looks as if it may have gone through as many twists and turns as necessary to produce an imatra digital coin in the first place. italian cycling footwear brand udog (far less satisfactory branding than imatra, in my opinion) has achieved an exclusive arrangement with imatra by designing shoes 'specifically for imatra users'. quite how the latter differ in their orthopaedic requirments from the rest of us, i know not.
from my haughty standpoint in this ivory tower, telling us that we can buy exclusive shoes with digital currency generated by cycling, seems pretty straightforward; but i fear my philosophical bent might be a tad traditional for this modern velocipedinal life. "Our mission is to create a community where users can be inspired by market-leading products. UDOG is a brand that closely matches our philosophy. They have an ambitious goal to push their customers to challenge themselves on different terrains, both on and off road." so said imatra ceo, manolo bianchini. in other words, 'we came to a mutually beneficial financial arrangement with udog, who make road and offroad cycling footwear.'
proving that mr bianchini and udog ceo, alberto fonte, speak the same language, he offered "The look of this limited edition reflects Imatra's character with purple details that enhance the adventurous spirit of shoes designed for exploration." i have to say that i fully admire any footwear purveyor with the technology to create a pair of shoes that would immediately remind the observer of a technology company that creates an intangible digital currency. and who knew that the colour purple makes the adventurous amongst us even more so. i confess that it's not an inspiration i've gained when using the natwest branded cash machine in the village, or, indeed, from the under-counter lighting at the chippy near the croft.
and if you wonder where the catch might be, witness this direct from imatra's website: "to make a payment with imatra coins, you need to enable push notifications on your imatra app." significantly, imatra already holds a strategic partnership with garmin. remember, data is king.
making the mundane, sublime.
tuesday 26 november 2024
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