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assos habutightsmille s7 thermal bibtights
according to the christmas movie channel which has been broadcasting soppy christmas movies since the beginning of october (yes, really), it is the season to be jolly, though i would respectfully suggest that every season ought to be one filled with jollity, particularly from the point of view of velocipedinal activity. though the rain has scarcely left the hebrides alone for longer than five minutes these past few months, with the impressive plethora of weatherproof clothing available, there really is no sane reason not to take the bike from the bike shed, no matter the climatic conditions outside.
oddly enough, at least from my point of view, folks in passing really only comment on the suitability of the day for a bike ride when the sun is shining. as was discussed over coffee after the sunday bike ride, days when we are forced to stay at home due to inclement weather are very few and far between. in other words, there really is no such thing as a bad day for cycling. that, of course, is entirely dependent on being appropriately dressed and on a weekend such as that which just passed, the word appropriate translates to warm, cosy and fluffy, preferably from top to toe.
there may well be days ahead that will be filled with less than warming precipitation, the sort of days on which the rain persists from morning till night, taking in noon as a matter of course. but more often than not, the average bicycle ride will feature periods of glorious sunshine, lessened only by the sight of an incoming downpour. it is both an advantage and disadvantage of the hebridean horizon that it is bordered with what was once referred to as acres of sky. those domiciled in the urban milieu are no doubt suddenly rained on from above with no prior warning.
we pretty much always have warning; both a blessing and a curse.
the curse part predominantly ensues from having already committed one's front wheel to the path less ridden, one which provides little alternative to the incoming downpour. and to be perfectly honest, strenuous efforts to avoid all and sundry will most often come to naught. a bit like karma, if that downpour has your name on it, you'll be caught eventually, probably just as you depart the coffee shop, still chittering in the cold outdoors.
preparation, in this case, is the best defence and in that light, might i draw your attention to assos' eccentrically named habutightsmille, a translation for which escapes me and in point of fact might be less enlightening than you'd hope. assos commend this part of their range for those riding in autumn and early spring, though summer months apart, in the uk's moderate climate, they could likely be worn at any time bibtights are deemed necessary.
one or two of the g.c. ristorante debbie's peloton have remained hardy to the last, joining the sunday morning perambulations still displaying boney knees and rippling calf muscles to the elements. they, of course, discovered the error of their ways the hard way and, by this weekend, had mended such wayward errors of garmentage by donning full bibtights. i, as one of many years' experience, had already adopted a conscious level of appropriateness in the minimalist shape of the habutightsmille s7 with their highly effective weatherproofing.
i should, however, make plain what i initially perceived to be a manufacturing error, in case others are moved to return their habutightsmille from whence they came. though i have never once come across a similar feature in either shorts or bibtights from any apparel provider, the purple insert is not sewn around its entire circumference. front and rear portions of one of the comfortablest (is there such a word?) padded inserts on the market, are sturdily affixed to the tights, but the mid-section on both sides is left open to the inner elements. whether this improves its function or not, i truly have no idea, but i can say with confident enthusiasm that it certainly doesn't hinder it.
though many others offer bibtights with lightweight mesh bib straps, quite frequently, in the heat of battle, those bibs contrive to narrow themselves and begin to cut a furrow in straining shoulders. assos have effectively headed off such an intrusion at the pass, by featuring wide elastic straps that seem not predisposed to narrowing at any point of their constitution. thus constructed, they place any strain comfortably over honed shoulder muscles almost pressure free. i believe the techincal term is comfortable.
the rear panel joins those straps in a y-shaped juncture between the shoulder blades and features all manner of obscure assos scribblings, including the words game changer in reverse. hmmmmm. i'd scarcely ascribe such a phrase to a humble pair of bibtights, even those with an all but inscrutable name, but whatever you or i think of switzerland's take on matters, there's no denying their excellence in the face of adversity. though they're hardly waterproof to the point of dessication, it was noticeable that the rain i'd experienced seemed happier to sit on the surface rather than inveigle its way into the fabric.
for all the purported eccentricity on display, including the impressive packaging which attests to the company's involvement with the petronas amg formula one team (again, yes, really), the habutightsmille s7s are all but anonymous in motion. there are but two, small, rubber assos logos visible about their person; nice to see in a world often infested with bright logos writ large. at a retail price of only £165 and the promise made good that these can be worn for around half of an hebridean year, makes, to me at least, perfect sense. and though the external logos may be small, they're pretty much an assurance of quality.
the habutightsmille s7 are available in black only, in sizes ranging from xs all the way to xl and the assos only designation 'tir', which is essentially the same as xl but wider.
monday 13 november 2017
..........................................................................................................................................................................................................i can see your bike from here
yesterday's bike ride, carried out in less than pristine conditions, highlighted the continued deterioration of islay's roads. presumably due to the recent all but continuous rain, sections of road that were once passable with minor caution, now require hawk-like vision to avoid placing the front wheel into a series of crevasses. where once there was a relatively smooth surface, now there are small lakes hiding goodness knows what under the surface. and in an agricultural environment such as this, there are tracks and trails that bear witness to associated activity.
though social pressure would have the regular dog walker carry more than a handful of poopy bags should fido happen to get caught short during the daily constitutional, no such convention applies to cattle and sheep. both freely decorate an already wet and muddy road surface with the remains of their lunch. it is, therefore, but a simple matter to identify which roads have seen recent farming industry.
this is not, however, activity confined to livestock. such is the size of the average tractor these days that, when finding need of entering a field from one of the many singletrack roads, farm traceability takes on a slightly altered definition. tractor tyres will always leave tactile traces on wet ground, but in order to conduct a tight swing in off the tarmac, the tyres disturb not just the approach to an open gate, but a large swath of the opposite verge. no matter whether such activity is in progress at time of passing, it's fairly simple to deduce what went on during the preceding days.
ever smug on a pair of treadless 25 or 28c tyres, the itinerant velocipedinist can take satisfaction from the knowledge that none of this roadway degradation can be laid at the cleats of our footwear. yes, in areas such as bridgend woods, it's easy to witness the passing of mountain or cross bicycles, but the scale of such, hardly warrants a detailing of altogether minor surface disturbances. you need only compare the average 33mm tread indentation with that of an argocat, quad bike, or landrover to verify my assertion.
when it comes to riding the metalled roadways, we are but the equivalent of a stealth-fighter jet, albeit travelling a darned sight slower. or are we?
according to the data collectors at strava headquarters, ten million of us contributed over one billion activities to the strava filing cabinet. and when i say 'we', i of course mean 'you', for my smugness knows no bounds when i discard the data from each ride without letting it within a kilometre of the cyclists' facebook. though the numbers released by mission control at strava mean not a twinkling in the grand scheme of things, the numbers hold a fright factor all of their very own.
for instance, those ten million athletes covered 5% of the earth's landmass while striving manfully to be the local king of the mountains and in the process managed to ride a total of 27 billion kilometres. the worst part is that i think i know the very individual responsible for this iniquitous state of affairs. if you were to add up all the time spent by cyclists in generating this data it would total 200 thousand years and currently occupies ten terabytes of strava's disk space. if it's even worth placing all this in some sort of perspective, all this equates to six times more data than filled the boxes in 2015.
the heat-maps accompanying this article give a graphic indication of what all this scurrying about looks like when applied to our home planet. i think it's worth my mentioning that all these figures originate not just from cyclists but from runners, skiers, hikers, kiteboarders(?) and even everest mountaineers, proving, if nothings else, that we(you)'re not the only sad bunch of individuals on the planet. it would be rude of me not to end with an inscrutable quote that possibly provides some context for all this activity, but then again, quite likely doesn't...
"The Strava Heatmap is enlightening because it lets us connect the bike riders we spot on the streets with a broader perspective of our territory, over space and time," said Jorge G. Coelho, Mobility Project Manager, AMAL, Portugal. "Strava Metro then gives us the possibility to dive much deeper, breaking down data minute-by-minute and segment-by-segment for the entire road network. It's a bit like our Pasteis de Belém: they're good to smell, but you have to really sink your teeth into them to fully take advantage."
but then, we already knew that.
sunday 12 november 2017
..........................................................................................................................................................................................................wind driven
we are the arbiters of our own eccentricity, suspending belief in the all too obvious realisation that others are not like us. and far from being the persecuted minority that it occasionally suits us to portray ourselves, we can be righteously indignant towards passing eccentrics of a different hue. however, it cannot be denied that sometimes, they deserve every salvo that heads their way.
as last sunday's ride headed in the direction of coullabus, having turned off the main road at uiskentuie, we were aware of a following vehicle. courteous to the last, we all pulled into a nearby passing place to let the driver go about his sunday morning business. the car was followed by two volkswagen minibuses containing a host of birdwatchers, or twitchers as i believe is their adopted epithet.
the two vehicles passed safely, but a matter of metres later they both pulled to a halt, slap bang in the middle of a single track road, entirely blocking our path. the insolent part of this dilemma arose when i manoeuvred my bicycle alongside the rearmost of the two minibuses to point out the error of their ways. the driver of the first vehicle seemed very surprised to see me, but the driver of the minibus up front didn't see me at all, for in keeping with all the occupants of the vehicle, he was peering through binoculars at heaven knows what on the other side.
i hammered on the window and used a very bad word in front of the phrase "public road" while gesticulating aggressively. the potential impasse was resolved by the two minibuses pulling forward into the passing places at which they should have stopped in the first place. this is hardly the first time any of us have come across such a situation; i can't make up my mind whether it's ignorance, arrogance or insolence. it is certainly most disrespectful, especially after we'd courteously let them pass in the first place.
though the bike ride consisted of several other incidents, such as meeting a stationary openreach van at the foot of the single track climb past aoradh farm and subsequently a few kilometres of herding cows at ballinaby farm (and you thought you had problems), the subject of those disagreeable bird watchers still informed the conversation when we ultimately reached debbie's café shortly before noon. at this point, the mighty dave t was heard to undermine the character of the vans' occupants based on their collective waxed cotton and woolly hat dress code. fortunately, lest we become hoist by our own petard, lord carlos of mercian pointed out the idiosyncracies of our own adherence to the way of lycra.
oh, how we laughed.
yet the velocipedinal life seems hellbent on imposing a further iniquity upon the thus clad. fortunately for both parties, sunday was not as windy as the preceding day, for when heading into a strong to galeforce headwind, the noise generated by the latter can often obscure the sound of approaching vehicles. it's one reason why many of us can ride in a straight line, similar to those in a two-up track sprint, while looking in a rearward direction. it is a matter of personal safety, but one with which we've all lived for many a year.
and now, to solve such a problem, arrives the helmet angel designed by david crampton after a near miss caused him to fall off his bike. this consists of two aerodynamic, shell-like coverings for a cyclist's ears. mr crampton claims that the helmet angels "have been proven to help cyclists determine the direction of approaching traffic much more easily, particularly traffic coming up behind them." laudable though his enterprise must appear, my only concern would be that it makes being dressed in a barbour jacket and green hat while standing next to a tripod-mounted telescope seem positively normal.
saturday 11 november 2017
..........................................................................................................................................................................................................together we rise
apostrophes.
currently, it would seem, the bane not only of those who have little to no idea where to place them correctly, but of the pedants of the world (to which i am wholly subscribed) who experience intense irritation when viewing the error of others' ways. while on my winding way to london town for last week's rouleur classic, the citylink coach from kennacraig to glasgow's buchanan bus station, stopped at anniesland cross. staring blankly out of the window, i noted the chalked blackboard outside an adjacent butcher's shop.
though as a vegetarian i had no interest at all in the contents of that blackboard, i could not help but notice that every single word ending in the letter 's' was preceded by an apostrophe. for example: steak's, burger's, vegetable's. i believe you can see the problem. it is one that seems a tad more prevalent nowadays than in the past, though it could just as easily mean that i now inhabit a higher plane of pedantry. e-mails and text messages i receive from family members are frequently either devoid of the little blighters, or just like that butcher's sign, they are everywhere they shouldn't be.
i'm inclined to blame the vicissitudes of the education system. it's worth re-stating that when it comes to spelling and punctuation, 'there's the queen's english and then there are mistakes.' (anyone who mentions my lack of capital letters will be made to stand in the corner.)
it is a problem that could once be seen on the brass plaque at the entrance to laphroaig visitor's (sic) centre. after spending many thousands on the facility, one rather hopes they were expecting more than a sole individual.
yet, though i am rarely slow in castigating the lower regions of academia, there's little doubt that matters would be considerably worse were the youth of the world to have no education whastoever. and though the inhabitants of sub-saharan africa are subject to far greater problems than where to place apostrophes, an almost endemic lack of education, particularly for the females of the region, means that many will remain oblivious to the shiny gems of wisdom that can be imparted by a comprehensive schooling.
the big problem revolves around an institutionalised society that tends to keep women and girls as subservient to the male population. this frequently incurs their having to arise in the early hours of the morning in order to carry out the many chores engendered by living in remote communities. these are frequently devoid of running water and electricity to make life a smidgeon easier to tolerate in the heat. and that's where world bicycle relief is already making a difference.
if those young girls were able to gather water without having to trudge for miles on foot, the time spent doing so would be immeasurably minimised. and having completed the morning's chores, a buffalo bicycle would then enable them to get to school on time in regions without a recognisable or frequent transport system. and if we can all recall the first time we had a bicycle of our very own, not necessarily featherweight carbon fibre with enough gears to keep nigel tuffnell happy, but a sturdy, go anywhere machine, just remmber the width of our smiles. though ownership of a bicycle can ease the strictures of a remote african life, it can also offer hours of freedom and joy.
sixteen year-old ayan of eldoret in kenya, was the first girl in her community to ride a bicycle. she wants to become a photographer. "when i'm stressed out, i just take my bicycle (and) go for a ride. it's the best feeling that anyone can experience."
ayan was provided with a bicycle by world bicycle relief, enabling her to not only experience a hitherto undiscovered freedom, but enabling her to attend the local school. the principal of emoja secondary school, sosten kipchumba said "education is a tool that can be used to change the life of somebody, the life of society, the life of a country." we may view the education system of saharan africa as somewhat rudimentary, but its existence is the very lifeblood of the country, one which could potentially bypass many female students solely on the basis that they couldn't get to school in the first place.
later this month, the well-remunerated west will enjoy yet another extended black friday, followed closely in the usa by thanksgiving and ultimately yet another over-priced christmas when iphones and ipads will offer us the luxury of typing our digital apostrophes anywhere we jolly well like. but if you'd care to stop for a moment or two to appreciate the true power of the bicycle, you may wish to re-direct some of your festive largesse towards supplying the less fortunate with the opportunity to experience the same joy we've all found from riding our own bicycles.
donate your money wisely.
friday 10 november 2017
..........................................................................................................................................................................................................the ins and outs of coloured blubels
juvenile humour being what it is, the endless joy of asking "knock, knock" and on receiving the query, "who's there?", when replying "isabel", you'll be largely unsurprised to learn that the punchline, after being asked "isabel who? is encompassed in the age-old retort "is a bell necessary on a bike?
strictly speaking, according to the bs6102 safety standard, a bell is necessary on a bicycle, at least at point of sale. i have received very expensive, carbon road bicycles for review, each accompanied by a rather flimsy bell for the purpose of attaching to their oversized carbon handlebars. despite one of the avowed attractions of the professional peloton being the opportunity to ride exactly the same bicycles as our heroes, though i have seen many a finishing straight sprint for the line, i do not ever recall those boxed in against the barriers feverishly ringing their bells to have messrs cavendish, sagan or kittell move over to let them pass.
oddly, though it is apparently illegal to sell a bicycle without a bell, there is no overweening requirement to fit it prior to heading into the wide blue yonder. as an inhabitant of the rural idyll, i cannot deny that i have little need for a bell on any of my bicycles, though there is an alexander graham bell attached to the stem of my ibis hakkalugi, principally for the purposes of alerting itinerant sheep when i'm doing my very best jeremy powers impersonation. and since you ask, yes, it does actually work.
but the insidiousness of the phrase 'there's an app for that' has inveigled itself into pretty much every corner of modern life. even the world of the velocipedinist. and in this particular case, modernity has crept all the way up to the humble (if multi-coloured) bicycle bell. if, like me, you were somewhat concerned at the possibility of having need of a smartphone concealed about your honed physique while pedalling, simply to ring a bell, let me disavow you of that naive but understandable misapprehension.
with support from ibm computers, transport for london, the european space agency business incubation programme and a successful and previously intimated kickstarter campaign, the folks at blubel (also available in charcoal, fern green, ruby red, indigo blue, fuschia and seafoam - sort of turquoise) have created a bell that not only rings, but gives you a heads up as to which direction you ought to be travelling. now available to all and retailing at £84 each, the blubel gains its gps instructions via bluetooth from a route plotted in the accompanying smartphone app. directions are conveyed by a ring of leds around the bell's top circumference and augmented by audible alerts to keep you safe in traffic.
as of the end of last month, i have spent just under half my life in the hebrides; it would therefore be a glaring admission of amnesia were i not to be now familiar with every nook and cranny of this rock in the atlantic. personal requirement for step by step directions adds up to none whatsoever (lack of an iphone notwithstanding). however, take the country boy into the big city and stick him on a bicycle saddle and i'd be begging you to give me a blubel. the turquoise one, now that you mention it. acutely aware of the urban domicile of many reading these black and yellow pixels, i can but commend you to seek out this 'aid de commute' via the website linked below.
you can now commute like a professional.
thursday 9 november 2017
..........................................................................................................................................................................................................lord of the rings
having been joined by a more than welcome interloper on last weekend's sunday ride, when asked about the g.c.ristorante parcours for the morning, we were perhaps keener than absolutely necessary to make it plain that, no matter our route du jour, all roads led back to debbie's. truism as that undoubtedly is, it might also be perceived as something of a limiting factor. though hardly applicable to the sunday ride which, as the mighty dave t so eloquently put it, "is what it is", a bike ride on any other day of the week more often than not, consists of a bowmore-based loop.
i'd be fibbing if i led you to believe that this state of affairs is applicable to anyone other than yours truly, but it's something that i have allowed to happen, persuaded by the promised delights of froth-supping and the dunking of a compact and bijou biscotti into that very same froth. thus i fear i may be responsible for artificially curtailing my bicycle rides to a café just a smidgeon north of bruichladdich distillery.
and yet there are potholes, gravel and steep ascents south of port charlotte that are eagerly awaiting my tyre tracks, remaining in a perpetual state of disgruntlement due to my continued ignoring of their existence.
i'm sure you can sympathise; after a frequently enticing perambulation of loch gorm and the promise of a clockwise reprise post caffeine intake, it would be a rider of greater stamina than myself who could ride past the café without stopping. yet, that is the very situation that would have to be dealt with, were i to seek a significant advancement on (for example) a saturday bike ride. many of you will share my pain.
well don't you?
however, just to place things in some form of perspective, we're really only talking of distances that pop in under the 90 kilometre mark at most. assuming i leave the house around 10am, there's a better than evens chance that i'll be home before 3pm, no matter the number of un-athletic minutes that might be spent in the consumption of double-egg rolls and the aforementioned caffeine intake. i realise this endangers my self-proclaimed status as velocipedinist extraordinaire, but in the interests of bringing a touch of harsh reality to the subject at hand, it may occasionally be necessary to ascribe to a modicum of humility.
3,000 kilometres is a far more impressive distance about which to brag, particularly if you've just spent eleven days cycling just such a distance. no, it wasn't a couple of hundred times around this island, but top to bottom of two much larger examples. new zealand, to be precise. and no, it was not i who was that cyclist, but a far more intrepid member of the genre by the name of cameron nicholls. cameron pedalled feverishly on his bicycle saddle for a total of 89 hours, riding the length of new zealand to raise a total of $11,000 for can teen nz & australia, a charity which supports young people who are living with cancer.
though my choice of footwear during the three days to paris this past july caused a just a smidgeon of discomfort in the latter kilometres of each day's riding (not that i was alone in this ailment), that was, to a greater or lesser degree, self-inflicted. mr nicholls, however, though i have no idea if his feet hurt, rode injured for eleven of his baker's dozen of days due to being attacked by a farm dog on the second day of his expedition down under. as if the portent of sore feet and a canine inflicted injury were hardly sufficient to add to his woes, riding in the middle of the antipodean winter brought temperatures low enough to freeze the water in his water bottles.
though mrs washingmachinepost is generally out with the girls having lunch, while i am attempting to hone my saturday physique to some sort of standard allowing me to look fit and healthy on monday morning at the office, i am able to do so alone. perhaps more obviously, 3,000 kilometres is hardly doable all on one's lonesome. thankfully, mrs nicholls travelled as support to her other half, despite cameron having inadvertently mislead her on just how onerous an undertaking that was likely to be.
you do not, however, simply have to take my word for it. as a sign of these modern times, cameron not only had the prescience and foresight to film the entire enchilada (thankfully distilled into a six minute finished edition) but has published the salient points of his epic journey. links to both are just below this paragraph. stopping for coffee on a saturday lunchtime will now almost certainly bring on feelings of serious guilt. and rightly so.
cycling new zealand video | cycling new zealand - the story
wednesday 8 november 2017
..........................................................................................................................................................................................................it's a date
it still happens nowadays, even after all these years. though the early stages of being thewashingmachinepost were fraught with frank disbelief (that anyone would name a cycling blog after white goods) or more often than not, scarcely concealed mirth, a bit like finding a band called led zeppelin or driving a car named qashqai. and it is perfectly true that only a few years into being on the web, i received a request from one of london's top hotels to furnish them with prices for industrial-strength washer-dryers.
it appears that even the well-heeled don't always read the small print.
and continuing the confusion that might follow certain naming conventions, when first formalising the name of islay's annual 100 mile bicycle ride, i was intent on maintaining the obscurity conferred by spain's quebrantahuesos, or some of the world's less well-known gran fondos, by having more or less settled on gran fondo bruichladdich, not only because it was the location of the velo club's favourite froth-supping hostelry, but also due to the imposed level of mispronunciation. sometimes you just have to be pro-active in such matters.
however, though renowned within the croft as having once described the post as concerning itself with road-cycling culture, west lothian clarion's matthew ball is, as i recall, the very fellow responsible for the gran fondo becoming 'the ride of the falling rain', an observation brought about by a day's worth of incessant rain coupled with an astute knowledge of the professional racing calendar.
though mr ball has remained in almost total obscurity as far as the black and yellow pixels are concerned, he has not been resting upon his laurels in the considerable number of years since he last visited the island (yes, i'm pointing the finger at you, matthew). though 'the ride of the falling rain' does not take place on closed roads (nor is it ever likely to, if i'm brutally honest), matthew and his cohort, garry marshall had the wizard of an idea to produce a calendar for 2018 with the aim of aiding a fund-raising campaign seeking to have a traffic-free cycle circuit built in west lothian.
already, sir chris hoy has said "The 2018 cycle calendar is absolutely stunning. I'm looking forward to getting one in my stocking this Christmas! It's all for a great cause; the West Lothian Cycling Circuit will help turn Scotland into a nation of cyclists."
matthew ball is but one of West Lothian Clarion's coaches, runnings cycling sessions every week for 85 under sixteens. "We've been coaching in car parks for seven years but we've outgrown where we are and need a better location in order to reduce our waiting list of over 100." the cycle circuit has been developed by the linlithgow community development trust, a community-led charity. It has ambitious plans to build a one kilometre, traffic-free cycle circuit for everyone to enjoy.Êfraser falconer, chair of the trust said "With support from the Council, the community, local clubs and national sporting bodies we are focussed on reaching our fundraising goal."
as to the origination of the illustrations featured on the calendar, matthew said "Garry and I have been producing our club magazine for seven years, with each cover featuring one of Garry's beautiful cycling illustrations. We thought it would be great if we could combine all the illustrations into one amazing calendar and raise money for a good cause." in an era when everyone with a smartphone has an electronic calendar, you might consider a printed version to be somewhat anachronistic, but there are many who find a calendar on the wall with space to scribble incoherent messages every bit as necessary as a christmas tree and figgy pudding. it is our natural birthright.
the fundraising for the circuit has so far raised over £12,000, just under half the clarion's target. at £15 per calendar plus p+p, assuming the print run of 1000 sells out, their target amount will draw just that bit closer. fraser falconer added "The overall fundraising goal is to raise £681k. With £312k already committed from West Lothian Council, £344k grants/trusts in the pipeline, and a community fundraising target of £25k, we are working hard to make this project a reality.
"This project will give people of all abilities and from all walks of life the chance to become healthier, more confident and happier, and connected with their community and environment. We know cycling has this impact."
The closed road cycle circuit will offer easy access and suitability for all abilities including adaptive cycles and handcycles.
the calendar can be purchased online at cyclecalendar.co.uk
tuesday 7 november 2017
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